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Springs1
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This page has potential but it needs a lot of work. It could benefit from improving its wording. Discuss edits that might add to the lulz on this article's talk page. |
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
Watch out! Here comes the flaming fat turd bitch that goes by Springs1. She feels she is the queen of all restaurant service.
She will scream and yell at any fat, lazy, CARELESS server who may get any of her ranch demanding modified orders wrong by even a little bit.
The Customer Service Queen
Springs1 loved going out to eat and order extra ranch for everything. As long as she got her ranch, she was fine. Then one day, she got, what she calls, mistreated by a server who seemingly forgot to bring her precious ranch when she ordered it on the side with mozzarella sticks she was going to share with her husband. This enraged her to no end, to the point she felt she needed to create countless blogs about how uncaring and lazy every server in the restaurant industry really are. She abuses CAPs and always emphasizes **************ALL OF HER CAPS WITH THOUSANDS OF ASTERISKS************. The more asterisks, the more pissed off she is.
Several people that have had the unfortunate luck to encounter her agree that she is insane with her expectations.
She claims to have worked in a donut shop for all of two years. But everybody knows donut shops don't compare to places such as Outback Steakhouse, Olive Garden, Saltgrass, and many other restaurants. It's safe to say that she would even get into a fight about her ranch with Gordon Ramsay at one of his several high-end restaurants.
Springs1 is infamous
Did you know? There are several blogs about her insanity? There's even a translator so you can at least attempt to understand all her asterisk-surrounded caps. She's either a very successful troll, or the most conceited, self-centered, selfish, condescending, and stupid woman in the entire world.
She must spend all her time googling blogs related to serving in restaurants just so she can scream and yell via CAPs. Hopefully she'll get SO MAD that she'll end up killing herself.
BUT OH WAIT! She is AN INCREDIBLY NICE PERSON, AND YOU WISHING DEATH UPON SOMEONE MAKES YOU A "FUCKING HYPOCRITE". No really,
those are her words, when the one of other people talking to her did say they hoped she choked on her ranch or something.
The Novelist
All of Springs1's replies are tl;dr. If you can even attempt to read all of her nonsense, then you deserve a fucking medal. Even her blogs are an eye sore to sit through.
It wouldn't be so bad if she actually used proper grammar. Rather than read all of her opinions, why not look at this lovely gallery that was found, devoted just to her.
It needs moar lulz, and more ranch.
She claims to back up her thoughts with what she calls 'research', by finding pointless blogs, which may just actually be one article that she will quote several times. This bitch doesn't learn, nor give up. No one can take her seriously though, and she causes everyone to laugh at her, which makes her pissed off, thus leading her to even more caps-enraged, three page replies. Every time a discussion starts about her, she somehow appears to throw a hissy fit.
Best at everything
Apparently, she knows how to do everyone's job. Why should she stop at serving? She should go to the bank and tell them HOW RUDE IT IS THAT THEY CHARGE FEES ON SAVINGS ACCOUNTS. THEY, AS THE BANK, HAVE THE POWER TO NOT CHARGE FEES, YET THEIR LAZY AND UNCARING ASSES CONTINUE TO CHARGE CUSTOMERS FOR SAVING THEIR MONEY. HOW RUDE OF THEM!! Go tell the cashiers at grocery stores that IT'S SO UNCARING AND LAZY OF THEM TO ASSUME SHE WANTS HER MILK IN A BAG. WHAT IF SHE WANTS TO CARRY IT BY THE HANDLE? HOW DARE THEY TRY TO HELP HER BY BAGGING HER MILK. IT SHOULD BE A CRIME. (sic)
Everybody knows that this lazy fat-ass just sits at home all day, when NOT going out to eat thousands and thousands of pounds of ranch, and just gripes and gripes about how everybody in the world is wrong except her, and how she deserves to be treated like a goddess wherever she goes, and if you don't agree and don't pertain to her needs, you're a fucking lazy, uncaring, heartless person.
God forbid that the helpless waiter/waitress being stuck with the unfortunate task to give her food is a new person and doesn't know everything yet. She claims to know a menu front to back within her first visit. So if the newbie messes up on her ranch-covered excuse for food, she will immediately flip tables and go all HULK on the place.
She blames everything on the server. It doesn't matter. If the place is cold, it's the server's fault. If the place is crowded, it's the server's fault. If the server gets triple-sat in their section, it's the server's fault. If the server is unable to bring out the food, causing a food-runner to bring out the food, and something is wrong even though the server put in the order correctly, it's the server's fault. If the manager doesn't comp a meal because it didn't come with ranch, it's the server's fault. If the world has a shortage of ranch, it's the server's fault. If Springs1 has a heart attack due to eating too much ranch, it's the server's fault. Get the idea?