STDCarriers
STD Carriers Disease Control and Prevention Services is a Website created to protect the purity and essence of your precious bodily fluids from hazardous biological agents. This collection of online services is best known for creating the world's first long range intercontinental Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) early warning system for people at risk of catching incurable venereal diseases. The Sexually Transmitted Disease Carrier Registry that lets you browse lists everyday people, Criminals, and Celebrities with Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) for the purpose of shielding yourself from harmful Venereal Diseases you either are, might be, or wish you could be exposed to. This Colossus of public health services has a long list of names along with other sections for STD videos, Anti-VD Propaganda, and other shit.
International STD Carrier Registry
"Prevention Is Our Profession" is the slogan for the "Early Warning Alert System for Venereal Disease Control" that utilizes a sex offender like database to create a condom of information covering people in 18 countries, but mostly used in The Jewnited States as well as it's Australian sub region, Canadia, Great Britain, Germany, and France that are infected with Genital Herpes, HIV/AIDS, HPV, Genital Warts, and Hepatitis C infections. Clicking on a name takes you to a profile that includes their name, location, sexual orientation, disclosure history, a detailed explanation, and an area for posting comments about the carrier.
Public Reports from Anonymous Users Where do these reports come from? Anonymous people who according to the sites "12 Step False Online Record Removal Program" sign up for a free membership at which point "They can then publish a report(s) just as easily as you can advertise your car on Craig’s List and post comments about reports just as easily as you can post comments on friend’s MySpace profile". Unfortunately dozens of assholes have taken advantage of this to post bullshit reports with at least 30 of them resulting in the IP address of the perp being listed in an "Evil Doers" section surrounded by pictures of Hitler, Stalin, and other mass murderers. The comments page is flooded with people either talking shit about the carrier or someone claiming to be the carrier demanding removal of and denying the statement. Some people have threatened to sue the site only to have their message published in a "Threats, Rants, and Raves" area similar to what you see on The Pirate Bay.
Guaranteed Screening STD Carriers offers visitors the guarantee that none of the registered STD carriers have tested negative for STDs with a strict record removal policy requiring them to test negative for the STD they have been reported as having before being removed from the registry. This godsend of public concern puts your health first and foremost with a proven method that has already increased the rate of STD testing.
Celebrities with STDs
"Celebrities exist for our entertainment and so do their sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)" is the ending of the disclaimer above a list of over 50 famous people all of which have profiles stuffed with products promoting their merchandise. Listen to sample MP3s from David Hasselhoff cd's while reading about why sand is not the only thing making his balls itch or watch Billy Graham receive the "Hulk Hogan Real American Award" while reading about how steroid use made him sterile and gave him Hepatitis. Top that off with well know attention whores,anal gangbang sluts, and estúpido jugadores fútbol Mexicanos for a good way to kill time during a lecture with a tablet pc.
| The YukMouth Family | ||
AIDS Criminals
The largest centralized list of convicted MySpace voyeurs, little league coaches, whores, tight lipped lovers and other reckless plague spreaders can be found in a subsection and numbers at about 70. Given current trends it will soon number in the hundreds of thousands. Pope Benedict XVI has already blessed this holiest of digital partchments as divine intervention for the Roman Catholic Church Human Resources Department.
StDivo
Despite offering a list of "Safe Sex" videos StDiVo obviously did not practice it as his upside down smile and red marks around his mouth make abundantly clear that "Dangerous Sex" is more his style and the clear cause of his interest in HIV/AIDS, Herpes, Hepatitis, HPV, and Genital Warts Videos. StDiVo is already thinking ahead with its Pandemic Plague videos for the day when the United States government finally finishes work on its super sexually transmitted population control vaccine officially titled Jewish Emasculation for the Salvation of the Universe Syndrome also known as JESUS.
Anti-STD Propaganda
"Click It Before You Stick It!" is the slogan of a piece of flare that along with posters featuring a cheesy South Park like character named Joe the Sailor represents just the physical crap used to promote this titanic marvel. Like the member registration page with a Lord Kitchener Wants You Poster telling you to sign up if you "deserve a future free of disease, fear, and terrible uncertainty" and public service announcements like these Rihanna Russian Roulette Deer Hunter Remix and Grand Theft Auto IV Blow Job in a Nightclub videos.
Logo Whores
If that blatant poison control ripoff was not enough this "Mr. Yuk Mouth" character has French and German cousins in addition to all the nationalistic crap used to promote various "National STD Carrier Registries" resembling government seals. They even have category specific crap for types of celebrities.
| The YukMouth Family | ||
| Official Seals of National STD Carrier Registries | ||
| Stars of the Hollywood Walk of STDs | ||
Other Shit
Shameless Self Promotion STD Carriers has been the subject of a great deal of news stories promoted by media whores on slow news days to boost ratings. They usually start with promos early in the day about how your health information might be online for all to see that they put at the end of the newscast to keep people watching. The stories themselves usually features the owner of the site telling people how he got Genital Herpes from the first name on the list (a fat whore in Eugene, Oregon whose profile is covered with ads for weight loss products, fat joke MP3s, and movies like Super Size Me) telling people that he created the site as a public service to warn others about lying tramps with dirty cunts. Then they show a mixture of bitchy and supportive comments about the site from members of the public and attorneys with mixed legal opinions. After the story people freak out, visit the site, add people to the list, and leave rant after rant on the News stations forum.
Viral Distribution
STD Carriers distributes its STD Alerts to social networking site including Twatter and MySpace with real time news feeds and embeddable devices known as widgets that can be added to any page on the internet. This creates the possibility for STD Alerts to spread like a Herpes outbreak on a porno set at any given time.
One look at the site structure and anyone with search engine optimization (SEO) experience will know what it means for ordinary people who typically don't have more than one or two pages that mention them online unless they have a common generic name (ex: John Smith). The STD Report will end up at the top of Google searches because their name, location, and STD are all present in the URL and title of the page. This design even has it at the top for celebrities like porn star Belladonna for searches like "belladonna herpes". One can imagine the effect this may have on ordinary people when a significant other Google's them.
Scroll down to the bottom of every STD report and you will find a full banner ad promoting the website [[Reputation Defender|Reputation Defender] with pictures of people "Googling" themselves and finding bad things. It appears that STD Carriers is in cahoots with Reputation Defender as they create a greater demand for their "Reputation Management Software".
See Also
External Links
- STD Carriers
- International STD Carrier Registry
- Celebrities with STDs
- AIDS Criminals
- StDiVo
- Threats, Rants, and Raves
- 12 Step Program
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