Newgrounds/theflashportal/intro

The ever-declining quality of Flash Portal submissions and the voters who view them

The Newgrounds Flash Portal is the access point to the site's archives of Flash movies and games. There are few places on the internets which blatantly condone such levels of stupidity as are encouraged here, at what is essentially Jewgrounds's "claim to fame," the point of origination of such timeless classics as AGNRYMAN ANTICS (in which a clearly irate fellow prances around an animated city, eventually stealing a dildo from a store and sodomizing himself), Freezepop's JEM (in which a 13 year old Jewgrounds user gyrates seductively to a song by a group of homosexuals, and the unforgettable Pico's School (a late-nineties tribute to Columbine, of rather dubious intentions).

Pico's School was one of the first cartoons showcased on the website, as it was created by Tom Fulp himself, when young Tom was a Disturbed Loner in the days before Jewgrounds' popularity level was over 9000. In his angst-filled formative years, Tom espoused communist ideas -- much to the chagrin of his Nazi worshipping elder brother -- and believed in the ability of all people to have an equal amount of space in which to be as stupid as is possible. Thus, Tom was inspired to create (along with the existing Flash Portal) a Voting System and a Review System, in the ultimate trifecta of idiocy.

These days, though, the Flash Portal is a wholly different beast. It is governed largely by Flash groups, such as the intellectually active Lock Legion and Clock Crew, who are likely to submit anywhere from at least 100 to over 9000 Flash animations on a daily basis, each one lowering the bar just a little bit more on the creativity scale. Each of these crews, of course, has a dedicated fanbase and even legitimate websites to coordinate their efforts through, often teaming up to produce steaming piles of excrement, unidentifiable as anything resembling entertainment.

Because of the large followings of these Flash groups, it was quickly ascertained by the leaders of the groups that it would behoove them and their inevitable descendants to establish their groups' reputations as circle jerks of unfunniness. Thus, they decreed that all members of their groups were, as a condition of membership, required to VOET FIEV and RAET TEN on all Flash movies and games submitted by members of their respective groups, no matter how bad the quality.

This was exacerbated by Tom Fulp's official recognition of an annual "Clock Day,"[1][2] [3][4] whereby hundreds of Flash "artists" submit hundreds of Flash "artworks" of terrible quality - all of them involving characters central to the "Clock Crew" cause, and all of them being easily saved from "blamming" by orgasming Clock Crew members, eager to proliferate their own shittiness, which has existed and been expanded significantly since the group's founding in 2001.