Lesbian Bed Death

An example of lesbian bed death

This term is used to refer to the fact that once lesbians move in together, settle down and get older, they tend to never have sex with each other ever again, unlike gays, who just have sex with any asshole they can find.

It's Inevitable

The sad-yet-inevitable fate of all lesbian couples.

As anyone with a penis would know, it's difficult to get a woman into bed especially when married. But when there are two women involved with no cock pestering them there is noone in the relationship who gives a shit about sex anymore, therefore causing lesbian bed death.

It is also common knowledge that lesbians are fat and fugly, making sex with them repulsive. When both members of the relationship are that unattractive of course they're not going to have sex, noone would.

Another factor contributing to lesbian bed death is the fact that noone really likes munching carpet and, for fuck's sake, they're not going to want to do that for the rest of their life.

Whores

The reason for Lesbian Bed Death is that women are whores by nature, and will not fuck unless they are getting paid. In a heterosexual relationship, the man pays, and the woman puts out every now and then when she feels like it. In a lesbian relationship, each partner expects the other to be ponying up the fancy gifts and stuff, so the situation deadlocks.

The Solution?

Cock, an hero, more cock

Salvation?

There is a new breed of young and genuinely cute lesbians on the rise, which may someday make this lamentable fact of lesbian life a thing of the past, along with the Birkenstocks/overalls/fatness prerequisites, although probably not the unhealthy Indigo Girls obsession or the driving need to feel victimized by any occurrence of the letters m, e, and n placed together in the English language.

See also

• Lesbian Two Degrees of Separation

Lesbian Bed Death is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.