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Laughing Skull Virus
Back in 1996, Jeff Goldblum wrote the most powerful virus on a 2mhz macbook to benefit mankind. Using jew power and ancient text files, the beast came to life. The devils name was the "Laughing Skull Virus". Unfortunately, after it's original intended use, the great haX0r Kevin Mitnick stole the virus, spreading it throughout the internets. Having the typical basement dwelling asshole hacker mentality, other 1337 script kiddies spread this just to cause pain and revenge towards anyone with a life. Just because, you know... it's all their fault that they have a WOW addiction.
Deployment
The Laughing Skull Virus (now to be referred as LSV) was first deployed and tested on an elementary maclab appletalk network. With all the computers frozen and displaying only a laughing skull on a black screen, the kids threw a collective temper tantrum when they couldn't play reader rabbit 2. The anguish escalated when the "differently abled" kids could not print out 50 black pages from kid pix (although it did benefit the school by saving $250 in ink cartridges for the day).
LSV Saves the world
When Aliens came to earth to probe everybody, Will Smith and Jeff decided to save the planet. With an alien spaceship and a floppy disk with the LSV in hand, they head up to the alien mothership. Without being asked for any clearance, let alone been seen using a 50 year old spaceship; they broke though undetected all the way to the motherships docking bay. From there they uploaded the LSV into the alien mainframe (finally something Macs are compatible with) causing all the shields in the alien fleet to shut down. Yes, they were all linked together, and when we saw our opportunity we destroyed them all and lived happily eve... Oh god I can't go on, that was such a fucking terrible movie.
How to avoid the LSV
Don't download pr0n. Don't use limewire, or Kazaa. Don't visit /b/. Download a lot of R@ygold Don't fuck a computer unprotected. PROTIP: What to do if you have contracted LSV:
GO INTO C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\, DELETE ALL FILES, NOW.
Laughing Skull Virus is part of a series on Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage. |