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Kewlies

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This article is crap. You can help by completely re-writing it.
Am I cool now yet guize?
fo shizzle!12

Kewlies or Cool is a word that is used in order to be sarcastic or describe insecure children. It used to be used as a reference to temperature, but only nerds use it for that now. Now if you ask somebody what the word cool means, they will tell you it refers to something that is cool. However, there's a good chance that they're just being sarcastic because who the fuck uses the word "cool" anyway? I mean, really?


What is coolness?

Scientists have been pondering this for at least 100 years. This is because scientists want to be cool, so they can get pussy. Unfortunately, as nerds, they will never be cool.

These guys are pretty kewlies.

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Things that are cool

These guys are cool. Cooler than you.

Things that are not cool

Throwing hair in your face and trying to look "intense" isn't going to help, faggot.

How to measure coolness

The standard SI unit of coolness is Fonzies or simply Fn, in honor of the coolest cat ever. The Fonz. The formula for measuring coolness is: time x atomic coolness= overall coolness. Lets try an example! Jimi Hendrix started his music career in 1966 to 1970. That is 883008000 sec. (Which is 4 years.) Next multiply 883008000 sec. by the atomic coolness. The atomic coolness of being a kick ass guitarist is exactly 100.897 acu (atomic coolness units). Now, just multiply both numbers: 883008000 sec x 100.897 acu= 8.90929 x 10^10 Fn (fonzies.) Note: 1 Fonz is always written as: 1 (sec.)(acu) which equals 1 cubic Fonz.

Gallery

Kewlies gallery About missing Pics
  • Coolness is measured in units called MicroFonzies (µω).
    Coolness is measured in units called MicroFonzies (µω).
  • This also goes for you.
    This also goes for you.
  • Cool is defined as being young, blonde, and laughing with some robots. lolwut.
    Cool is defined as being young, blonde, and laughing with some robots. lolwut.
  • Kewlies enjoy Jager bombs and group buttsecks.
    Kewlies enjoy Jager bombs and group buttsecks.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Yeah, a dog and a tiny canary are way cooler than you. Read it and weep.
    Yeah, a dog and a tiny canary are way cooler than you. Read it and weep.
  • The Crab Nebula is cooler than YOU will ever be.
    The Crab Nebula is cooler than YOU will ever be.

How to be Cool

See also


Kewlies is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry • The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
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