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James the Preacher

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So Christian

As many of us know, youtube is full of religious extremists such as: NephilimFree, VenomFangX, and countless other retards who spew bullshit online right after they get done rimming and suckling the asshole of Jeebus. But there is one religious extremist that trumps all others when it comes to being batshit insane and his name is James Lyman (aka: James the preacher, Mr Pleasant Preacher, exposingthecults, falsegospelmocker, or whatever the fuck else he tends to go by).

James was brought into this world not by jeebus, but was a product of a one night stand between Fred Phelps and a gestapo officer. After he gets done bitching at: women, homosexuals, and or Atheists; he will whine about getting the banhammer from youtube, then going right back to kissing God's asshole and later bitching about how much he hates people on some other site. Let it be known that he is not a troll, but suffers from a serious case of unwarranted self-importance due to his head being so far up his imaginary friend's goatse sized asshole in plain view of the internets via his facebook and multiple yotube accounts. James also has a huge family consisting of six kids, a mentally retarded bovine of a wife, no steady job, and a nice trailer in Merica! Instead of being a man and helping actually support his family he is preaching and sitting on his fat wrinkly ass while bitching online.

Jame's online behavior typically causes lulz and drama of EPIC proportions on the internets, he's easily trolled and a lolcow, and no matter how many times youtube or facebook bans him he will be back to his usual antics that deserve to live on alongside VFX and the other great religious nuts of the internet.

Things James hates

James hates a lot of things due to his unwarranted self importance, here's just a few things he hates

  • Homosexuals
  • Lesbians
  • Celebrities
  • Veggie Tales
  • Atheists[1]
  • Most other Christians
  • Goths
  • Rock music fans
  • anyone who smokes or drinks
  • Women who don't kiss his ass
  • Liberals
  • Mormons
  • Critics
  • and anyone else who isn't a psychotic fundie

Internet Behavior

Youtube has probably been Jame's favorite place to bitch for a long time now. He has had multiple accounts (most were banned for hate speech and a violation of many of youtube's policies). His videos typically feature himself berating or harassing anyone or anything he disagrees with, we mean ANYTHING! This includes everything from exposing Veggie Tales as a demonic force to our children, to telling us about which celebrities are in hell. More often than not this causes all out flame wars in the comments section and needless to say it's impossible to reason with him via facts and logic. His typical response to any kind of civil comment or criticism to his bullshit involves a massive amount of bawwwing and telling people they're going to hell. Many of his other videos include complaining about homosexuals and how "wicked" they are, but we all know that the most outspoken homophobes tend to be deeply closeted homosexuals themselves, so anyone with a brain would realize that whenever he isn't bitching online he's fapping to the thought of sucking the massive veiny cock of the Lord Almighty and taking it in his old asshole.

His bitchfits on facebook are similar to the videos he creates on youtube, except most of his friends are a bunch of inbred uneducated religious nuts like himself. OF course he keeps his profile public so whenever someone criticizes his behavior he will use the banhammer and threaten to sue and major lulz ensue shortly after. Ironically he complains about how "prejudiced' people are towards Christianity and how people violate his "freedom of speech", yet he silences anyone else he disagrees with. One instance where he flaunts his hypocrisy like a streaker flashing his cock to the world, is in the video "Street Preacher for President" where he describes in explicit details how he plans on banning anything fun and raping our constitution much like a prisoner that drops the soap.

James also tends to be a lulzcow of epic proportions and this the worst kind of trollbait since Chris-chan and Ladyalt69. His antics include:

  • calling people who disagree "spies"
  • suffering from GOTIS
  • threatening to sue his critics
  • beating his wife and kids
  • having no steady job

Trolling James

Trolling James is like taking candy from a baby and all that is required for him to have a temper tanrum is:

  • question him
  • use evidence, logic, and reason
  • be gay
  • by being an independent women
  • say "Jeebus loves everyone"
  • by not having an identical interpretation of the Bible
  • be anything else he despises
  • by having a brain

This idiot also doxed his new address online. Do what you must for the lulz! The Lymans P.O Box 411 Wellsboro, PA 16901

Email: [email protected]

Recent drama

Recently our favorite zealot threatened some Goth chick on jewtube after she used her freedom of speech to criticize Jame's behavior. As usual our favorite fat Bible-thumping fucktard decided to do what Christards do best...be a hypocrite while having a temper tantrum! He threatened to "sue" the bitch for using the freedom of speech he cites as an excuse to hate everyone. Anon quickly called him out on his hypocrisy and hacked his youtube account and threatened to dox him if he came back to youtube. He went quiet for a few months but his newest channel "deadcelebritiesinhell" has recently surfaced. He is seriously pretending to be someone else...but no one is as retarded as he is and we're not falling for it. Now we wait until he gets hacked again.

7/12/13 James posts to his Facebook page that he will be "permanently leaving the internet" at the request of his lawyer. Of course anyone who follows this jackass will know that he's done this countless times before while baaaaawwwwwwwing about people rightfully making fun of him, and he will eventually come back online soon since he doesn't learn any fucking lessons from his mistakes online.

11/2013 Naturally James couldn't go another day of not bashing people online and trying to preach the word of gaaaaaawd, so he's back!

Videos

James preaching to his fellow inbreds

Quotes

   
 
There is a coward out there spreading lies about our family. I do not know if it is Deferio, Trust King Jesus, Saunders, or some other critic. But this coward will be SUED if his name is found out. I can tolerate critics and have grace with those who will come to me man to man or at least be honest with their real name etc. but I will have no mercy on this person and will deal with them legally when they are found out. This is a warning.
 

 
 

—James Lyman bawwwing about people who disagree with him.

   
 
No kissing or holding hands until the wedding altar!
 

 
 

—1 Cor 7:1 means what is says!

   
 
I have stated for years that if a man can control his tongue and his eating habits he will have great control over the flesh in other areas, with the help of the Spirit of God of course.
 

 
 

— Ironic coming from an obese middle aged man who travels the country cramming food down his gullet at every buffet, and stands on street corners spewing bigoted bullshit! But is that last part supposed to sound sexual?

   
 
Is it any wonder that homosexuality has been known as the "crime against nature?" It was and still is and always will be, UNNATURAL!
 

 
 

—James trying to hide his homosexuality."

   
 
What helped me in seeing my need of conversion was a man putting his finger in my chest and telling me that I was headed for hell!
 

 
 

   
 
If you want to have a ministry to the "homo's" of putting your arm around them, consoling them etc. that is your choice, but I prefer the biblical way of REBUKING THEM and their SIN!
 

 
 

   
 
I stopped having strange females cut may hair many years ago. I do not agree with a female being that close to a male (especially when they are in front you with their upper body being right in your face). Call me a fanatic if you like but my wife cuts my hair.
 

 
 

—Apparently, strange women cutting his hair gives him a hard on."

   
 
If you men can sit in "church" and listen to a woman preacher, you are effeminate!
 

 
 

—James: The master of logic.

   
 
I will be giving "kindness" classes next week if anyone is interested.
 

 
 

—- Irony...

External Links

James the Preacher
is part of a series on
Christianity
Blessed by God [-+]
Beliefs, Events, Traditions and Other Drama [-+]
Pissing Off the Almighty [-+]
Heathens [-+]