H.J. Freaks

	“	The lovely performance that has probably changed your life forever is courtesy of H.J.Freaks	„
	—Thanks HJ...thanks a lot!

Previously featured as one of Encyclopedia Dramatica’s Videos of the Now, HJfreaks (aka Hyunmo Kim) has become a minor viral video phenomena due to his outlandish cross dressing and his exceptional bass playing skills. Currently, HJ’s ambition is to become the “world’s greatest stupid idiot bass player" which might not be such a hard achievement to surmount, given his peculiar mode of dress during most of his videos and the eccentric subject matter that his songs cover.

Information

THE world famous video.

Hyunmo Kim is a South Korean composer, arranger, producer, and bass player who is a current member of Oriental Express (a Korean Traditional Fusion Jazz Band-whatever the hell that is) and also the bassist for Silent Eye, a power metal band. What sets him apart from the millions of other South Korean bassists is the fact that he cross dresses as his favorite anime characters. Is it even possible to be a Korean weeabo?

On his MySpace page, he is careful not to display any pictures in his anime get up, as if he is trying to attract possible band mates or job offers by appearing to be normal. It is only after a potential offer is made that he shows his pink, frilly side.

THE RATED-R Super-Stupid Bassist!

	“	Awful J-Pop and creepy fetishization of cartoons for 12 year olds aside, dude's a good bassist.	„
	—YouTube is full of comments similar to this

HJ stylizes himself as THE Rated-R super stupid bassist. The ED featured video is quite strange, and unless you are some sort of feces loving German, will probably be at the top or near to the top of your “internet oddities” list. During the featured video, viewers are given a peculiar smorgasbord of visuals including HJ, dressed in his frilly anime best while playing a bass that has been painted with a Konata image. The song, 牛乳飲め！which is pronounced "gyu-nyu-no-me" has the rough translation from Japanese of “You should drink milk.” Why should you drink milk? Because, according to HJ, milk makes a girl have a larger breast, and because Korean cross-dressing bass players are experts on transsexual breast enlargement, this makes perfect sense. At the end of the video, we see HJ gulping down glasses of milk while trying to avoid vomiting up his precious breast enlargement elixir.

If you like 12 year old anime girls with no breasts, but who want large tits, and who sing like one of the Chipmunks hopped up on crack, this sort of stuff is your bag.

HJ Speaks

HJ has his own website, and because of the numerous questions involving the video, has graciously answered some of the larger questions posed by his fans:

Hello guys, this is H.J.Freaks :-)

First of all, I'm sorry that I'm very poor at English. Now I have to do some explanations about the video I've posted on YouTube and Nico-Nico Douga. There are tons of questions about this video. for examples:

1) What is this song?
2) Are there any files(mp3 or else) for original song and where can I find them?
3) Why do you dress like that? Are you a gay? or just wanna have fun? etc...... (he never answers this question).

So I decided to give some informations for 牛乳飲め！ to you:

1) About the original song: This song was composed, lyrics, arranged by Japanese musician who is called "Deadball P(デッドボールP)", which contains following messages:

If you want to enhance your breast size, you should drink milk.
I've believed that who has big chests drinks plenty amount of milk everyday.
However, I think that they aren't scientifically proved.

2) About the lyrics: The follwings are the lyrics of this song:

牛乳飲め！
Uhh...You should drink milk!
Everybody GYU-NYU!! [4 times]

I'm a small girl from quite times ago
So I always put my hands on my waist to look tall
I'm also a flat-chested girl from quite times ago
who only sports bra would fit to my chests.
Yes, I have a AAA-sized chests, so what?
But, one day I met some magical portion to make my breast bigger.
If you drink milk, everything would be OK!
Your brest size must be enhanced.
You'd better believe the magical power of milk.
My brest size would be enhanced, too!
Drink milk and you can get some big puppies!
After drinking milk, I can wear brassiere for the first time!
Let's spell some magical spells out together!
Let's say, "TAKANASHI MILK IS DELICIOUS!"
Milk! milk! You should drink milk!
Let's go!

[Scat time] (EDiots note: wtf?)
Milk! milk! You should drink milk! [4 times]

I couldn't believe quite times ago that
if you have big chests, you can easily get some heat lashes.
But I always think without doubt that
women's breasts are filled up with milk.
There are plenty of "vacancy" if I wear "Nu Bra"
finally they always fall off my chests to the floor.
But drinking milk will solve such problems!
However, is it scientifically proved?
It is the fact that nobody knows
Is it some spook story maybe?
In conclusion, you should drink milk contains some "hormones"(somatotropin? I guess)
TAKANASHI milk has no effects!
You'd better believe the power of science.
Somatotropin is the real stuff!!!

Milk! milk! You should drink milk! [4 times]

By the way, milk coffee is...
too bitter for me to drink! but I would try it!
That's all folks! Thanks for listening!

3) How to get the original version of 牛乳飲め！

There is a website called piapro.jp. It is a Japanese-only site so you may need some translator(for example, google translator) unless you can understand Japanese. You should be a free membership to sign in, search some musics, and download them. By searching the keyword "牛乳飲め！", you can get this song easily. If you're interested in another "Vocaloid songs", you can freely download any of them in there and enjoy!

Reactions

All of the following reactions are taken from H.J.'s various YouTube videos.

	“	WHAT ON HELL HAS JUST HAPENNED??	„
	—pretty much everybody the first time they saw the vid.

	“	Hahah, I don't think he's a fucking gay so much as he's fucking Japanese.	„
	—wrong! He’s Korean, faggot!

	“	I think I came twice. Maybe three time, not sure.	„
	—did your boobs get bigger too?

	“	man, you really are a freak! Great playing but in insane clothing, and that makes you very special and unique,, smart... I want to meet you when I m back in korea, pls. send me your contact no., well, if we get to meet, pls. don't stare at my ass, cause I am straight. okaY? Keep rocking babe!	„
	—sure you’re straight…

	“	Weeeeeeell....This talented chick, unfortunately, has a penis. I'm sorry for crushing your dreams, man. Really.	„
	—thanks for clearing this up.

	“	So what? Japanese crossdressers have the Asian cuteness bonus :) I'd do him. (And he's an awesome bass player too)	„
	—if somebody plays bass well, you will fuck them?

	“	Yeah, when I fapped I didn't feel bad at all, he's cute!	„
	—TMI

	“	Dude, you play REALLY well. I just wonder: why the disturbing masquerade? And that hideous song! Once is funny, but three times or more it gets a little unsettling	„
	—Three times? Try SIXTY-three times

	“	hes not gay, crossdressing is a favorite pasttime of many. Just because someone wears a skirt or tight clothes doesn't mean they're gay. Ever seen Superman or a bagpipe player xD But still, cross-dressing is a part of otakuism and GOOD GOD HES LEG HAIRLESS. how is it possible?	„
	—because he really is gay