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Harassment
Honorary Ed Lolington
Harassment
is part of a series on
Internet Law.
[With Liberty and Drama for All]
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Case Law
We are all qualified attorneys at lol and every word of these articles is sound legal advice.
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Harassment is the gravest of e-violations. Internet Code 12, paragraph 13, subsection A defines harassment as:
- the intentional spamming, image macroing and commenting on someone's e-persona for the express and malicious intent of being mean, making them cry or stealing their friends or otherwise harming their e-celebrity status, realized or not.
Many e-lawyers avoid harassment cases in Internet court like IRL lawyers avoid class-action lawsuits.
Legislation is under way in the e-courts making it a punishable offense to file frivolous harassment suits. LJ Drama is heavily lobbying the piece of legislation into reality.
Precedents Set
- In the case of hepkitten vs. mediacrat, the e-courts awarded Mediacrat $10,000 US in the most severe ruling seen on the internets.
- Belt0033 attempted enacting an e-restraining order in response to harassers but lacked the support of e-lawyers and the e-courts themselves.
- In the case of Snapesnogger vs. anyone sane, DeviantART handed out blanket bans to anyone not kissing the offendant's ass raw in comment form. Trumped up charges include allegations of /b/ affiliation (regardless of fact) and harassment charges over a single post.
- Onigojirakaiju has been stalking someone all over the internet for ten years and shows no sign of stopping. Other behaviors include joining forums and posting nonsensical comments unrelated to the topic, sassing mods, getting banned and BAWWWING about how evil bipolar people are.
- Zoe Quinn, rainbow haired land whale, shrieked about harassment following her ride to infamy atop Five Guys. This has lead the web at large to conclude that "Harassment" actually means "I got caught fucking my way to fame and now people think I'm a whore."
- Anita Sarkeesian, rainbow haired land whale, also shrieked about harassment following years of con artistry and a wildly adversarial relationship with the truth. Another definition of harassment has emerged - "Shit, people noticed I'm a raging liar! Give me money!"
- Brianna Wu, rainbow haired tranny, joined in the chorus with ZQ and AS following the commercial failure of her 'video game' Revolution 60. Unfortunately, he was unable to restrain his crazy for more than three tweets and so he felt it necessary to become "harassed." This created yet another definition of harassment - "I have warned every tech company that I'm a walking mass of crazy and now no one wants to hire me!"
It's Not Actually A Thing
"Whenever a woman is claiming she was harassed, it shouldn't take much time to figure out what horrible or revoltingly slutty act she has committed. Call her out, record her shit, mock her mercilessly, and move on to the next bloated slut who floats to the surface." - A Person Who Is Frequently Accused Of Harassment
Don't Hire Anyone Who Claims They Were Harassed
You've been warned.