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Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/October 31, 2021

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Theoretically, you and your romantic partner, who is most likely of the female gender, are accompanying each other, when the cellular telephone, of which you are the legal owner, abruptly emits an audible tone, which is highly likely to be your default sound that will play when someone from another location, usually within your country of residence, depending on your telephone carrier or provider, inputs a finite pattern composed of numerical units into their legally owned cellular telephone, which in turn will send a wave that goes through a complex process that includes radios and telephone towers. You walk over to the area that the cellular telephone is physically placed, and you translate the telephone receiver from it's resting area, where it is mechanically constructed to fit into, all the way in the direction towards your ear drums, and then place the northern part of the device to your ear, and then place the southern part near your mouth, most likely onto your cheek. A voice that resembles that of an adult male proclaims "What activity are you currently in the process of completing, that involves having my female offspring attend!?". You immediately notify your female romantic companion, and she educates you on the objective fact that the paternal guardian that she normally refers to as "Father" has stopped living some time in the past, and is also currently deceased. If the details of this story are in fact, the truth, than it is now your duty to answer the question of 'Who was calling you and your romantic companion on your cellular telephone?
 

 

—anonymous copypasta