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Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/November 19, 2021

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Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Rather than an actual GTA game, this is just an angst, nigger Tamagotchi. You play as a nigger called CJ who chickens out after one of his brothers got killed, then has his mom killed by a rival gang. Long story short, he eats fried chicken, fucks insane women, eats fried chicken, gets a pink Mohawk, eats fried chicken, blows up police cars with a M4, eat fried chicken, help Eazy E steal boxes from the National Guard and has hot coffee with Samuel Jackson, never actually becomes a rapper (but other people insist he did), and did we mention eat fried chicken (srsly)?

This game also contains the failed meme known as OG Loc, who is to CJ what Weegee is to Mario. He makes no sense, is kinda disturbing, and nobody cares about him. Copying Weegeee even further, you go-kart race Oriental gentleman Loc and near the end, CJ gets to shoot him, but instead he takes his rhyme book and his record company. Anyway, as the story develops, you go to Las Vegas, shoot some azns, rob a bank with some azns, get rich and beautiful, however your crackhead nigger wants to stay at the hood and C-Jay is forced to go back to his dump and kill Jerkops. The game ends when you CJ finally kills Biggie Smalls and Officer Tenpenny. That didn't solve anything though, because CJ's mom is still dead and everything is still fucked up.

(( Almost 2 decades later, we got a butchered port of the mobile version called “The Definitive Edition”. ))


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