Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/November 18, 2024

Horizon: Zero Dawn

Thanks to self replicating Terminators that can use organic materials like people, trees, topsoil and shit to reconstruct themselves after being destroyed or make more human hunting terminators the human race is on the verge of being destroyed. It is the Dawn of Civilization and due to the efficiency of machines it is coming fast.

To save humanity, the very cliche idea that a Noah's Ark of sorts will be built where the nerds have broken humanity down into Alphas and Betas and decided which people and genes will survive. It is decided that, by the Nerds that humanity will let the machines destroy the world, along with the Beta, Gama and basement dwelling humans to then die off break down or power down and die when there is no more organic material left on the Earth (Zero Dawn).

After 200 years, when the Earth was ready for humanity to start making styrofoam, plastic and Hummers again, The GAIA system was built to start repopulating the Earth with birds, animals, plants and humans to drive them to their final extinction.

As a counter measure, if in case GAIA didn't get it right, an antithesis to GAIA named HADES, (when better names for a destroyer like Shiva or Obama exist) was created to destroy everything if GAIA didn't get it right the first time and then GAIA would start again.

As can be expected, and is the central theme in this plot and genre, HADES goes mad with power deciding it better to destroy humanity, like a liberal tree hugger mad with power and in possession of the nuclear football, it sees it unworthy. To protect this new humanity, GAIA An heros to halt HADES' plan to ban hammer humanity from the planet permanently.

To put herself back on line, GAIA clones Dr. Elisabet Sobeck, the creator of (Zero Dawn) because with her voice and gene map her Soulless Ginger clone Aloy can gain entry and command all of the systems.

As is the case with all ✡Moses✡ style stories, with her last breath of power, GAIA clones Dr. Elisabet Sobeck and leaves her in a mountain cave and at the entrance to the main GAIA system, to be found by mountain hicks that worship sticks and rocks, so that when she is older the new, younger, Lolita version of Dr. Sobeck named Aloy can begin repairs on the GAIA system and stop HADES.

16 years later, when Alloy is a sexy, hot ginger that can bounce quarters off her tight, well aerobicized ass - the game begins.

(( Follow The New Trend Of Not Making New Games And Just Up-Dating Old Ones With "Horizon Zero Dawn Remastered" ))

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