Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 2, 2023

Harry Potter

Harry Potter is a series of TL;DR fantasy and wish-fulfilment books about magic, witches and wizards written for children by British prostitute J.K. Rowling (a.k.a. Just Kidding Rowling), whose books are inferior compared to those of other successful writers. In reality, the stories shit. Rowling lives in Edinburgh, Scotland. If you want to find her and kill her (which must be done with fire), ask someone in Edinburgh. The story of the books is centred around a young boy who discovers he has the power to destroy his cruel peers and family Columbine style - but does not, because he is indeed more humble and virtuous than Mary Sue.

Rowling initially intended to use the books as a means to teach witchcraft and wizardry to young children, in hopes of raising an army to take down the Catholic Church. However, she soon discovered that her fans were incredibly stupid and would rather sit around writing horrible fanfiction and music instead. Rather than accept defeat, Rowling decided to use her bitchcraft and become a gorillionaire by selling the books and giving license to manufacture Harry Potter movies, video games, toys, board games, clothes, accessories, CDs, food, beverages, baltimization. And so, the story of the young wizard known as Harry Potter has since become a global phenomenon, gaining more popularity than both God and Jesus and suckering millions of retards such as yourself into buying shit.

(( PROFESSOR FIG DIES AT THE END OF THE NEW GAME ))

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