Eddie Betts

Eddie Monkey Betts) is a an overpaid half-human, half-monkey hybrid AFL player, of the genus Whiny Saimiri within the family Cebidae.

Biography

Eddie "Baboon" Betts has achieved many great things in his life. He married a blonde Australian woman so his children can get a phenotypical and genetic upgrade, all while pretending he loves Abos and supports their rights. He makes a lot of money for playing eggball (AFL). Other accolades include, crying the most tears at kindergarten, a big collection of frozen bananas and having the strongest body odor in all of Adelaide.

A life of whining

Among the things he hates the most is freedom of speech, Betts wants the internet to be shut down because people have hurt his feels by commenting on his instagram account and calling him monkey. He has been coddled by fellow AFL players, coaches, etc. They want a world that is funny and lovely where no feelings are ever hurt.

If Eddie would have his way, every member of the audience would be forced to lick his boots before every game. He is also a strong advocate for a yearly AFL Cuckold Pride Game.

External Links

• Eddie is a victim
• AFL cucks

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