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Cakepony
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Warning! If you are a foal then LEAVE this article; IF YOU ARE A YEARLING THEN KEEP READING. |
Cakepony is a porn site that disguises itself to look suitable to children in order to get a bonar from the cute little girls' reactions, thus making it a pretty average porn site. Upon entering the site, the innocent surfer is prompted with pretty pictures that appeal of children of all target ages, i.e. 1 to 8. The site asks if the viewer is 'a foal', asking the viewer to leave if so, or a 'yearling', which are permitted to enter the magical land of Cake Pony. These are apparently some complicated furry aging systems that no one (except retarded fucks like you) understand. Should the small children not know which one to click, the 'yearling' option is usually taken, as it is 4 times larger than the 'foal'. This results in 4 times more small children watching the hawt pr0n.
The theme of this site is ironic, since at its core it is child pornography. The creators of the site want to hide the fact that they're making child pornography, by making everything into "cute" ponies usually marked as under a year old in thinly-veiled sexual positions. It's not porn- there's no penis involved! Really, it's totally legal, just like swapping pictures of child models. Yeah, like any site like this with the initials CP could be up to any good...
The images themselves are perfect loli bait. What little girl Doesn't love My Little Pony! Amirite? Oh, and delicious cake.... nobody can resist the cake! All that's missing from this place is the van with "Free Candy" spray painted on the side and a friendly visit from Chris Hansen and his friends. Pedobear loves and approves this site, funding it with his hard-earned money.
There's also a lameass comic about ponies in space, to attempt to distract from all the disgusting near-porn, but we all know that someone is wanking to that, too, right now.
If you don't believe it from the pictures, check out Cake Pony's Mission Statement for the full horror of the situation.
Cake Pony's Mission Statement
The following is a REAL excerpt from the Cake Pony Website. Pervert tested, Pedo bear Approved!
"OUR MISSION:
Illustrated by the lovely Lauren Wong and the appititious Andrew Klein, Cake Pony is here to provide you with premium ADULT content to cater to your favorite fetish, BARELY LEGAL PONYS FEEDING THEMSELVES THE RICHEST CAKES. Its about damn time too. You deserve more than simple fetishes based around half-attempts at FULL CUTENESS. You want teens, cheerleaders, and that girl next door, all caught going wild or just being the innocent children young adults that they are. You want decadence, pillows, and whipped cream. WE KNOW, we want it too! And its precisely why we created this all-pony site.
So please enjoy the fillys of cakepony.com. We guarentee YOU'LL FIND NOTHING CUTER ON THE INTERNET to satiate your desires. And don't worry, all our ponys are 100% legal and waiting to eat cakes just for YOU. So whether you prefer a Masticating Mare, an Anglo-Arabian with an Appetite, a Cake-loving Clydsdale, or Donuts with Dressage, we have the site for you."''
Actually after reading that, I think I can understand why people would like to watch cartoon ponies eat cake erotically... its pretty damn hot if you think about it. Do that pony up the ass. Who's with me?
The Cake Pony Guarantee
"WE GAURENTEE YOU THAT YOU WILL FIND NOTHING CUTER ON THE INTERNETS"
External Links
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Cakepony is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |