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C4tspajamas

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Cat

Reigning queen of the Balto, Pokemon, and other hxc fandoms, Alyse Giznsky aka c4tspajamas aka CatWhoHas14Tails is the edgiest furry-in-denial bitch you may ever come across on the whole internets, even! She is famous for being a raging cunt, and proud of it, bitches! She shouldn't give you a hard time however as long as you remember to lick her anus gratuitously and always remind her she is the best, funniest, and most original person ever. You'll also want to keep your dumbfag opinions to yourself, because everybody is a retarded little assfuck with no grasp on reality, and I AM ALWAYS RIGHT, STFU. Because she lives on the internet, she has the right to bitch about whatever pointless shit she so desires, and if anyone counters her even politely, stfu you're retarded, and oh my god calm down.

She is known for flipping huge bitchfits in her journals and artist's descriptions over internet things that nobody fucking cares about. If anyone has any opposing views to share whatsoever (even alongside gentle asspats), they need to STFU IT'S THE INTERNET GROW A PAIR STOP WHINING RETARD. She is constantly hardcore bitching about some obnoxious trend that pisses her off because people have NO ORIGINALITY AND EVERYTHING IS SHIT.

Cat is the pinnacle of creativity and originality. She's pretty much the BEST MS Paint balto dog artist on the whole of dA. She can't stand Mary Sues and if you have a character with any traits at all UGH LRRN TO BE ORIGINAL PLZ, FUCKING SHEEPLE. Of course she has her own myriad of OCs that are the most cliche and Mary Sue-ish fuckers you'll see on devianTART, including her famous self-insert Balto OC, Kiona (or "Ki0na" because using a zero instead of a fucking o is unique and special and distinguishes her from all the posers that name characters using only the alphabet, lol).

Her gallery is a goldmine of edgy, original, and sexy.

SEE?

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A decent and polite critique on Cat's gallery.

Looking at her gallery leaves much to be desired. There is little change in her work over the past four years of her membership; everything is a rubbery cartoony mess, whether it be Balto dogs, pokemon, or some shittily conceived, shittily drawn shitty human OC. There is little to no attempt at background work or any kind of textured detail. The best pictures she has uploaded to her gallery are figure drawings from her art class, but of course that stuff is boring! What everyone REALLY likes are the caricatures of boneless downy-animals, ohhh yeah!

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Cat don't need no critiques.
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Apparently this means the critique was just a flame.
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Yet ANOTHER fantard sucking Cat's mighty E-penis.

Last thursday, an intelligent deviant left a polite, helpful and 200% valid and necessary critique on her page. Her response was a clever tl;dr gif because FUCK YOU I'M PERFECT ALREADY. Also, she gives "little to no damn" on any of the particular pictures said deviant commented on, and denounces him as a mere flamer. Regardless of the commenter's original motives, the critique remains applicable, and her "I don't give a shit" attitude only shows she will get nowhere with her art if she plans on brushing off every helpful critique she gets. Looks like another tragic case of unwarranted ego inflation due to unwarranted internet fame. DAMN IT! We lost another one :(

General Assholery

Cat takes the act of being an asshole to a whole new level. She is an arrogant little fuckwit and despite being incredibly generic and close minded, she somehow honestly believes she is the most intelligent and sane being on the internet ever, and that she is always right in every argument (let alone that she has the right to even pick half the fights she does). Her crazy bitch factor is something she is proud of, and if you point out her rudeness or try to disagree with her even in a polite manner, she will tell you to grow a pair and get over it, it's the internet and you're retarded. Oh my god calm down.

Cat as the Queen of Baltoland

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DO NOT STEAL

Cat has been known to be an active member of the Balto fan community, perhaps most notably at Animation Source, a frenchass site that, as far as cartoon faggotry goes, used to be a decent place until every animated movie got its on subsite, making it much like a dollar store franchise of shitty Balto/Spirit/Lion King/TaleSpin/whoknowswhatelse fanworks. Despite cat's unapproachable demeanor and defective personality, her fanbase here is unreasonably large. However, this can be slightly nullified when one is reminded that her main demographic is 12-year-olds who will suck her e-penis with vigor in the hopes they will get some shoddily-crafted MS Paint scribble of their Balto character in return.

Besides pumping out floodfilled fanart after floodfilled fanart, Cat's biggest claim to fame on the Balto scene is her OC, Kiona. Cat considers her a deep and unique character and despises any and all copycats of her. Ironically, the character is modeled after an unnamed puppy in the second Balto movie, so her appearance isn't original; and her personality is so painfully cookie-cutter, one wonders where Cat gets the gall to call anything a copy of her, specifically.

Paraphrased and summarized from Cat's own words, Kiona is the daughter of Balto and Jenna, and being part wolf, has difficulty controlling her "viscious" side (even though Balto has a higher percentage of wolf in him and in the movie refuses to attack even when provoked over and over). She is "quiet" around most others, except her family and close friends. She was a sled dog until being b& by her owner for biting them and now lives in the wild, leading a wolf pack with her wolf boyfriend. She is smart, stubborn, NOT GIRLY, and comes with built in rage mode to kill any enemies she may encounter. As Cat puts it, she "is mentally dysfunctional".

Also, Cat says she is such an angry character because she was sexually abused by her wolfdog-sister. Yup. Lesbian puppy rape. Hardcore, original, and too edgy to be copied. Nevermind the fact that dogs hump each other all the time for no real reason, then turn around and lick their junk like nothing happened.

Reaction to This Article

It took a little longer than expected, but Cat has discovered this little write-up and has responded exactly as predicted, complete with "LOOK AT ME, LOLOLOLOL" journal and minion-flockage. We are happy to have made her day with our lovable antics! Also as was predicted, however, the high and mighty mistress finds that her article is not up to par :( . She would prefer we dig deep into her past and find the juicy stuff, as opposed to focusing on her recent bitchy tirades. Unfortunately, this will have to wait for a rainy day, because no one gives enough of a fuck to stalk her so intensively. I'M SORRY MOM!

Ironically, one of Cat's prominent lapdogs stated only a short while ago, in response to the existence of her ED article, "Cat's too good for that 8p " . Not sure entirely what she's "too good for", considering she is happily milking her article for what 'net cred she can, which is barely above freaking the fuck out anyway.

Your recent trolls indeed.

Fun Facts!

  • Cat will probably be linked to this page by a fantard (if she doesn't just google herself & find it anyway), and will brag about it to friends and/or in a journal. She will pretend to roar with laughter instead of rage, and secretly (or publicly) jizz herself over her own internet fame. Check
  • Cat claims to be a virgin simply because she "doesn't want to get bored of sex" by the time she's older. We all know it's because nobody wants to deflower the nasty bitch.
  • Cat has never seen genitals IRL.
  • Cat is going to commit suicide as a joke. Chop chop!
  • You can't spell "apocalypse" without "Alyse" ;D

Related Links

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