Not gay

Not gay

It's not gay if you're drunk.

BGT impressario Simon Cowell is among people who are sometimes described as not gay.

Similar to not racist and the predecessor of no homo, not gay is inserted into a sentence that might otherwise reveal the homosexuality of the speaker. "Not gay" is the OL predecessor of the IRL terms "bromance" and "mancrush", proving once again that the internet makes you gay.

Popularized by a post to the defunct allaboutsex.com, where a user posted this message:

“	My penis is very small and smells of prawns, my friend who I experiment with (NOT GAY!) says it makes him feel sick to suck it, but his penis is nice, I like to suck that. I know I can't make my penis bigger, but I want it to stop smelling of prawns, I shower every other day and spend 5minutes with a sponge doing vigorous rubbing untill my end is sore, but no it still smells. help?	„

In the event that you ever open your mouth to say something that you feel needs to have "not gay" added somewhere to the end of the sentence, you're probably a faggot. For example: I get excited every time there's a stand-up routine by Dane Cook! I love him in a totally not gay way.

Balls

Totally not gay.

This too.

Most people believe that the difference between gay and not gay is that even the most debauched sex act is not gay if the participants don't touch balls. Arguing for, or against it is entirely pointless because it is so well-established. If you think about it, an asshole is an asshole, just like a mouth is a mouth. A woman's anus isn't a velvet carpeted runway either, so how's it so different from diving into a man? This is all, of course, presuming you two fags aren't rubbing nuts.

However, many closet fags also believe that any homosexual act is not gay unless you're gay. Meaning if you gay buttfuck, and neither of you are gay, then it's not really gay, even if your balls do touch.

Not Gay People

• Erik "I'm Very Hetersexual" Ribsskog
• Bam Margera
• Ann Coulter
• Ted Haggard
• Oprah Winfrey
• Condoleezza Rice
• Stephen Colbert
• Tom Cruise
• Larry Craig
• Manti Te'o

The not gay gallery

• 
  Just mutual touching,Im not gay....
• 
• 
  Which one indeed?
• 
  People who are "not gay" often have wet dreams like this.
• 
  People Gareth Rodger just messing around for the camera, I'm not gay
• 
  SuperNOTgay
• 
  Im not gay or anything but I think dog dicks are hot as fuck.
• 
  It's not gay to be in the middle
• 
  It's not gay,to get naked together and post pictures on deviantart. Srsly.
• 
  You in denial.
• 
  so totally not gay guys come on
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• 
  "My dick is above-average in size (many girls can back me up on that one), and my dick is actually just long enough for me to get my tongue on it without too much effort-- and to actually suck the end of it with great effort. And for those of you that claim that's gay, then you are by logical extension calling all guys who have masturbated with their hand gay too-- just because they gave themselves a handjob doesn't mean they want to do that to other guys, and it's the same for self-blowjobs." Goronchev,on how sucking your own dick is not gay
• 
  Mike "Eloh" Martin made himself not gay through sheer willpower alone and the number of cocks he has sucked doesn't matter one bit
• Straight Pornstar Criss Strokes enjoys a Gay Blowjob
  Straight Pornstar Criss Strokes enjoys a Gay Blowjob
• You are definitely not gay if you let another man suck a dildo that was modeled after your dick
  You are definitely not gay if you let another man suck a dildo that was modeled after your dick
• File:ASpanishandaTurkishClosetHomo.gif
• 
  Its not gay to fuck effeminated Fags with tits

See Also

Definitely Not Gay Man shows us how it's done

• Bob Rehahn
• christianhillbilly
• Fred Phelps
• Coldplay
• Colonel Klink
• Crazyconan
• Dubious disclaimer
• Emosexuality
• Ex-Gay
• Jailhouse Gay
• Larathen
• Larry Craig "I am not gay I have never been gay"
• List of heterosexual Wikipedia admins
• No Homo
• Not Jewish
• Not racist
• Spike Can Dance
• VenomFangX

Not gay is part of a series on Gay Republicans [NO! CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT!OPEN THE CLOSET!]

Homofags Andrew Shirvell • Ann Coulter • Ben Johnson • Bob Allen • Bubba Copeland • Charlie Check'm • Corrupt.org • Chuck Norris • Cigarskunk • Condoleezza Rice • David Vitter • George Rekers • Ghost • Jack Thompson • Jason Aula • Jeff Gannon • Judge William Adams • Larry Craig • Lindsey Graham • Marco Rubio • Mark Foley • Matt Drudge • Matt Sanchez • Michael Savage • Mike Pence • MONGO • Nickolaus • Nick Fuentes • Norm Coleman • Patrick McHenry • Richard Curtis • Rick Perry • Roy Ashburn • Roy Moore • Rusty Ray • Rick Santorum • Silver Seren • Ted Haggard • Trent Lott • Troy King • UpDownMostly See Also The Daytona Nine • Ex-Gay • Heterosexuality • Homophobia • Homosexuality • No Homo • Not gay