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Animal Dreams/Brutal drama

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<Animal Dreams

animal_dreams's post to brutal_drama:

Oh discord? This is how big girls do it...

With our REAL NAMES.

I'm in my car, driving three hours to a seedy motel in Monroeville PA. I can't believe I'm about to do this. I'm meeting some guy (who is 14 years my senior) from the internet for the first time so we can fuck. We've been emailing for about three weeks now, every night, 20-30 emails a night. I've seen pictures of his cock and he's told me exactly what he plans to do to me. I'm excited and terrified.

I get there and he brings me up to the room. Not ten minutes after we walk in the door, he is fucking me over the desk. He finishes in a few minutes, much to my relief -- my calves are cramping from standing on tip-toe. "Oooops" I hear him say from behind me. Apparently period sex + half-dressed sex is not a good combination. His wifebeater is soaked with blood at the bottom, and I have big bloody handprints all over my ass and the back of my shirt.

We fuck a few more times in the few hours he has free, and he is gentleman enough to buy me lunch at Chili's and let me stay in the hotel room overnight. He's gone by 4pm, no staying the night for him.

Two and a half weeks later, we meet once more in the afternoon, again in a seedy hotel room in Monroeville for a few hours of sex. Again my shirt is ruined by blood, but this time it's merely from rough sex. We try anal, but I have to use the safeword. Still no overnight, but I have somehow managed to convince myself still that I will be his girlfriend. All the e-flirting with other women? Nah, it means nothing.

But soon, I start doing things wrong. I'm supposed to be a secret, but I'm not doing a very good job of it. He dresses me down, and I grovel. I began constantly being on the edge -- rewarded with affection when I do well, and punished with silence when I do poorly. I am starting to realize what a perceptive, charming, manipulative, and cruel man he can be. He knows my weaknesses and preys upon them expertly. He starts dropping tantalizing hints that people I have trusted are talking to him about me behind my back. He's the only one I can trust. Every time an LJUS appears about me, he reminds me it's my own fault for not keeping better secrets.

Finally, yesterday -- the last straw. I might be pregnant (unlikely), and I make the mistake of telling him this before I know for sure. And that was the final straw.

And now here I am -- the biggest, most naive idiot on livejournal. If I had paid any attention at all to his reputation and history, I would have seen this coming. But I, like every girl he's done this to before, believe I will be different.

And whoopsiedaisy? Who should know better? Really believes it's going to be different this time.

She emailed me tonight to say: "I do not believe for a second that this is not a ploy for sympathy. What are you apologizing to me for? Perhaps if you clarified that I would be more inclined to believe that you are indeed sorry for whatever it is that you have done to me.

What you did to my friend is another matter entirely. I am completely disgusted and horrified at you. A pregnancy scare? Are you fucking retarded? How old are you? Do you really think everyone is as stupid as you?

A pregnancy scare. That's the most pathetic fucking trick in the book. It's unforgivable. You are manipulative, you're a liar and you reek of desperation. That's why no one likes you. You skulk around LJ playing the victim, but you know exactly what you signed up for. Grow the fuck up.

If you had a shed of dignity left, you'd take your lumps, accept that the ridicule you will receive as a result of your behavior is only half of what you deserve and just drop it. What you did was UNFORGIVABLE. That means you do not deserve to be forgiven. Now leave him the fuck alone and move on. No more drama, not more whining, no more victim games. You fucked up. Get over it.

And get some therapy."

Oh honey, dignity? Really? You wanna go there? Did you forget this:

  • whoopsiedaisy (2:01:49 AM): I'm sort of in love with him, you know?
  • [email protected] (2:01:57 AM): omg I didn't know
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:02:05 AM): really?
  • [email protected] (2:02:08 AM): really
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:02:11 AM): huge, huge crush
  • [email protected] (2:02:16 AM): oh
  • [email protected] (2:02:19 AM): omg
  • [email protected] (2:02:24 AM): does he know?
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:02:26 AM): please don't tell him I told you
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:02:33 AM): yep, pretty much
  • [email protected] (2:02:35 AM): oh
  • [email protected] (2:02:40 AM): does he feel the same way?
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:02:48 AM): hm
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:02:51 AM): well
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:03:04 AM): I think he feels something
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:03:09 AM): but I can't speak for him

--


  • whoopsiedaisy (2:09:25 AM): I am just curious. I don't really know what is going on with this.
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:09:51 AM): I mean, I don't know what Lin's intentions are with me, but I thought that he really liked me.
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:10:05 AM): and that he was interested in pursuing that at some point
  • [email protected] (2:10:14 AM): god

--

  • whoopsiedaisy (2:19:22 AM): he tells me he loves me
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:19:38 AM): I am now going to be totally honest with you because I don't owe him anything
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:19:43 AM): and you have every right to be freaked out
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:19:49 AM): I am PISSED

--

  • whoopsiedaisy (2:23:11 AM): he called me his girlfriend

--

  • whoopsiedaisy (2:27:32 AM): we were not exactly making plans but he talked about a future together
  • [email protected] (2:27:36 AM): oh god
  • [email protected] (2:27:37 AM): us too
  • whoopsiedaisy (2:27:40 AM): me being stepmom to his kids

--


--

  • whoopsiedaisy (3:22:07 AM): I bought him a sliver bracelet
  • whoopsiedaisy (3:22:25 AM): and was planning on wearing it so that my energy would be in it from the whole trip when I gave it to him
  • whoopsiedaisy (3:22:32 AM): when I saw him on my way home
  • whoopsiedaisy (3:22:47 AM): but then I slept with Papiha while I was wearing it and thought I should take it off


--

  • whoopsiedaisy (3:32:02 AM): I dont know if I will ever trust a man again
  • whoopsiedaisy (3:32:05 AM): i had points
  • whoopsiedaisy (3:32:20 AM): I used my rewards points to go to him
  • [email protected] (3:32:25 AM): god

--

  • whoopsiedaisy (3:39:29 AM): and not as attractive in real life as in his pics
  • whoopsiedaisy (3:39:47 AM): he made it seem like he was all ready to spend hundreds of dollars a night on an expensive hotel
  • whoopsiedaisy (3:39:55 AM): and I told him not to do that
  • whoopsiedaisy (3:40:06 AM): and he was driving a shitty little car
  • whoopsiedaisy (3:40:12 AM): a ford focus or something?
  • whoopsiedaisy (3:40:19 AM): and he told me it wa shis sisters

---

  • whoopsiedaisy (4:26:00 AM): I will forward you any emails that he might send
  • whoopsiedaisy (4:26:03 AM): but I doubt he will
  • whoopsiedaisy (4:26:13 AM): but I won't tell him that I am sharing with you
  • whoopsiedaisy (4:26:19 AM): hugs

Didn't lead me on, huh? So what was the talk about your business: "this may be supporting you some day"? Talk about meeting families? Me moving to Pittsburgh after graduation?

You're lucky there's an endless supply of girls just like me for you on LJ. You really, really are.

And for anyone who's curious, I came to his attention after I made that post to b_h about my father hitting me. Low self-esteem + daddy issues + vulnerable girl? Like a drop of blood to a shark, people.

What can I say? I'm angry.

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