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Vilde
Vilde Anna Egeland is an overweight, ugly, acne-covered emo drama queen. Like a typical IRC female attention whore, she enjoys blowing even the slightest happenings in her life out of proportions. Being an aspie whose parents can afford to buy her a hugbox, she thinks that everyone out there loves her and that she is hot shit. Vilde can be found on those rare occasions where she dares venture out of her hugbox at open source-related functions, most often making male attendees extremely uncomfortable with her unwanted, frightening sexual advances.
Open Source Groupie Slut
This specimen of Open Source Groupie Slut syndrome embodied often times speaks frequently of Linux and C++ programming. However, it becomes clear to anybody who scratches the surface that her knowledge and proclaimed skills are merely superficial, and that she has never produced a single line of code.
Within the Russian Open Source Community, while they are not busy trying to poison her with polonium-210, she is known for for her willingness to dole out blowjobs. However, no matter how desperate an Open Source developer they might be, most are not willing to hit that shit with a 10 foot pole.
Fashion
One common activity Vilde partakes in is the purchase of overpriced and expensive Gucci handbags. Since she is a fat, ugly whore these are a part of a transparent attempt to attract desperate, impoverished Open Source russian men. Legend has it that she cried on her 18th birthday when her father did not give her a Range Rover. Because of her moaning about how her parents do not love her, her parents decided to do the wise thing give her an apartment instead, so she'd leave them alone and get the fuck out of their house. But of course, only the most expensive appartments in the best snobbish parts of Norway would be acceptable for Vilde, so this did not happen until later, much to her parents' disappointment. Her father allegedly commited suicide over this affair since he wanted that fat sack of energy-draining failure out of his sight.
Vilde in Russia
Vilde now lives in Russia. Her living parent decided that this was the best thing possible for her since Russians have a tendency of poisoning people they do not like. Since Russia does not have running water, Vilde does not keep up on her personal hygeine. As such she is covered in horrible grease streaks and frequently is said to eminate and odour roughly similar to that of shit. Because Vilde is a demanding bitch who frequently complains that her allowance from her parent is inadequate, it is surmised that she prostitutes herself on a nightly basis.
Daily life
Vilde's daily life consists of:
- eating large quantities of fatty foods, including bacon, pork fat, deep fried hamburgers (buns and all)
- sitting on IRC and moaning about how little money her parents give her, and how they really hate her
- talking about C++, and how she's an expert on it
- talking about how she gave up learning C++ for C, because Toresbe feels it is a superior language
- bragging about the number of Open Source blowjobs she has given; she makes her victims sign a GPL license before she begins the unholy act; OMG SHE HAD THE SECKZ
- engaging in bondage with Toresbe
Free software
Allegedly Vilde will be attending FOSDEM. If you are a desperate nerd who never has had a blowjob, it is recommended you seek out this individual; however, frequently she will just find you and molest you in some way. It is noted that the only way she has ever contributed to Open Source is by giving blowjobs to Open Source developers. Rumour also has it Toresbe gives excellent head and that he wanted to attend FOSDEM with Vilde, but due to lack of money being a welfare recipient, this will most likely happen.