Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Nao/June 26, 2011

THIS WEBPAGE OF THE INTERNETS IS BEING OBSERVED BY THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION UNDER AUTHORITY OF THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT FOR VIOLATION OF FEDERAL LULZ MANDATES AS DEFINED BY THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT.

AS A VISITOR, YOU MAY BE REQUIRED TO PARTICIPATE IN AN EXTENSIVE BACKGROUND TEST. YOUR DISTINCTIVE FINGERPRINTS, SCARS, BIRTHMARKS, HAIR COLOR, HAIR TYPE, AGE, HEIGHT, WEIGHT, GENDER, ETHNIC BACKGROUND, DENSITY, OCULAR PRINTS, BLOOD, DNA ENCODING, VOICE PRINT, INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT, SAT SCORE, EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT, EPIDERMAL TENSILE STRENGTH, NEURAL IMPULSES, MOLAR MASS, COCK GRIP, PROCESSOR SPEED, NEGRO LEVELS, MIDICHLORIAN COUNT, OT LEVELS, THETAN LEVELS, EJACULATION AMOUNT, ELECTRICAL CONDUCTIVITY, HEAT OF VAPORIZATION, FIRST IONIZATION ENERGY, MELTING POINT, VISCOSITY, SPECIFIC HEAT, RESONANCE STRUCTURE, CRYSTALLINE PACKING STRUCTURE, ANAL DIAMETER, BRUCE TREADMILL TEST SCORES, BODY MASS INDEX, BODY-FAT PERCENTAGE, PERSONALITY, VO2 MAX, LETHAL DOSES FOR VARIOUS CHEMICALS, ACOUSTIC ABSORPTION CHARACTERISTICS, OTHER BIOMETRIC DATA, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, FAVORITE COLOR, MOM AND POWER LEVEL MAY BE DOCUMENTED AND STORED INDEFINITELY AT AN UNSPECIFIED LOCATION WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT AND/OR KNOWLEDGE. THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS MAY, CONDITIONAL TO ITS FAIL AND AIDS AGREEMENT, RELEASE RECORDS DISPLAYING YOUR NAME TO INDIVIDUALS PETITIONING IT UNDER THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT OF 1996.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. YOUR PARTICIPATION ENSURES THE DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM OF AMERICA.

((THEY ARE CURRENTLY AT YOUR DOOR!))

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