Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 14, 2022

Touhou

Touhou (東方), or the Touhou Project, refers to a series of overhead shooting games created and developed by an alcoholic Japanese pedophile named Zun. First developed for the NEC PC-9801 line of computers, the games are now developed for Windows to better enable total world domination. The Touhou series is a pioneer of the danmaku shooter genre of video games, featuring several elements essential to any good Japanese video game, including rapidly flashing lights, MIDI music and little girls. The characters in Touhou are very static and boring, yet despite this, they are all over the fucking internet, essentially making Touhou the Japanese equivalent of Team Fortress 2. Since its conception, Touhou has done its capitalist nation proud by rapidly becoming the most successful franchise in Asian geekdom since the used tampon industry.

Unlike most Japanese games made for the PC, Touhou disappointingly does not revolve around tentacle rape, ordinary rape, or even dyke rape (don't worry, there's plenty of fan-made hentai doujins that have such content). Instead, the Touhou games are populated by an unnaturally wide selection of underage girls flying over vast and breathtaking landscapes, shooting the living fuck out of each other with thousands upon thousands of colourful bullets, referred to collectively as "danmaku".

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