Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/December 30, 2022

Fort Hood

Fort Hood, also known as the Islam meets US Army sequel to V-Tech, is the location of a well-played round of expert mode school shooter by some guy who apparently never grew up. On November 5, 2009, Major Malik Nadal Hasan went batshit and shot up 13 people, injuring many more, on no less than America's largest army base, happening to be in the biggest fucking state (who could have guessed?). The shooter was a third-rate psychiatrist who'd been advanced to major (in spite of fail) to prove some kind of point about love and understanding.

As news sites raced to out-first-post each other, the facts were distorted by a reluctance to release his name or photo for the first day or two (yeah right, typical shooting rampage, don't think so).

What we did know was that Vtech just went camo.

After the press caved in to the people's right to know, we got a flood of pathetic excuses for the whore in news articles for the rest of the week. Meanwhile, a flood of loser bloggers and columnists jumped in to use Hasan's massive fail to push stupid agendas (usually moar pathetic excuses, Islam, or Israel). Columbia Pictures is expecting to release the film adaptation early next year.

And it all happened on Guy Fawkes (Anonymous) Day!

Facts about the Fort Hood massacre are scarce due to army embarrassment. With two large-clip pistols in hand, whether or not he needed to reload is unclear. Current reports indicate that the shooter is wounded but alive and is able but unwilling to cooperate with the investigation.

While 13 victims is not a high score, it is a new high score at the nightmare difficulty level of own goals on a military base. The bad guys on this level had infinite ammo (no guns though) as well as nearly infinite men and the largest cache of armored vehicles in the continental US. The major is also believed to have received an expert marksman mark in bootcamp at Fort Bragg.

Unfortunately, he gets no bonus points. His rampage was allegedly stopped by a girl then a nigger as the press decided which cause to deify and he didn't even earn An Hero achievement points [1].

Game over, "Major Hasan": not just a traitor but you don't even get your 72 virgin boys to butt-fuck in hell 'cos you were too much of a pussy to off yourself. His final slugging average as of the 5th of November is 13/38, far short of Cho's 31/29 on easy mode.

(( FRIENDSHIP WITH US ARMY IS OVER, AL QAEDA IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND ))

What have I missed?	Kero the Wolf 2 days ago	Christmas 4 days ago	Aediot 6 days ago