Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/December 25, 2023

Christmas

Christmas' (also known as: X-mas, Present Day, The Birthday of Jesus, Tree Appreciation Day and Capitalist Solstice) is a Christian holiday that was stolen "adapted" from the Roman pagan holiday, Saturnalia, which was itself stolen from the viking Yule, and taken out of context at the expense of the workers in the United States. It is also used as an excuse to get drunk on eggnog as well as for fat men to dress up as Santa Claus and touch little kids and/or sneak into houses. Now it's a Jewish Capitalist conspiracy designed by officefags and Jews just so that they can rip you off of your hard earned Jew Gold to fund their annual drunken brothel crawls. It is also an excuse to see family who you had forgotten about for the last 365 days. In Australia it's just another excuse to get pissed, rape the cops and have old seedy pedophiles dress up as Santa Claus as an excuse to touch little kids. Christmas is also a poor justification for your fat, redneck cousin to come over and get free beer. According to The Bible, Santa Claus was born the son of a Jewish child prostitute and abandoned in an enchanted forest called Burzee to be raised by elves who he eventually enslaved upon reaching adulthood like the greedy kike that he was. Santa eventually killed some old viking fag and stole his magic sleigh, using it to molest European children across the land every Christmas Eve night and giving them presents to keep their mouths shut. After generations of this, he ended up becoming the primary symbol of capitalism worldwide.

(( If You're Not Opening Up Any Presents, You Should Be Opening Up Your Wrists ))

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