User:Sburke/Leisuretown Quotes
[leisuretown quotes, here as just a cheat sheet]
THIS SITE IS NOT FOR CHILDREN!! ONLY EDUCATED INTELLECTUALS WITH ATM CARDS
THE SAD LITTLE ASCII ART DUCK: o< SUICIDE IS THE ONLY WAY OUT
SHOVING A SOCCER BALL UP MY SHIRT AND WALKING AROUND LIKE I'M PREGNANT
$$$$ YOU CAN DRAG ME TO THE TRASH CAN WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A GLANCE $$$$
SYSADMINS: YOU CANNOT ASSIGN "PERSIMMONS" TO A DIRECTORY - THOSE ARE FRUITS
KIDS: GRAB YOUR MOM'S CREDIT CARD WHILE SHE'S ALSEEP AND CLICK HERE
CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT TEENAGE GIRLS AND LAXATIVE ABUSE
Subject: THE STAPLER WITH MY NAME ON IT SEEMS TO HAVE "VANISHED" AGAIN!!
EVERYONE BE QUIET I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!!!!!
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Click here to stop terrorism around the globe once and for all.
I'M STARTING TO THINK I WORE A TIE FOR NOTHING
FOLKS CAN I PUT REGULAR TOILET PAPER IN THE PLAIN PAPER COPIER OR NOT
COLUMBINE? MORE LIKE COLUMBONG!!! hglbhlgbhglbhglbhth * COUGH * SPLUTTER *
URGENT: PLEASE KEEP SHIFT-RELOADING THIS PAGE SO MY MODEM DOESN'T HANG UP
I USE MY POWERS FOR GOOD AND ALSO TO REPRODUCE BUGS
!!! MAKE MONEY FAST !!! OH GOD HELP I'M DROWING IN THE TOILET
INSTANT RHYMING DICTIONARY: FORK SPORK DORK BJORK
THE IMPLIED UNDERSTANDING IS THAT NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THIS PLACE
I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THERE ARE NO GIRLS HERE AT ALL
PLEASE CALL MY BBS
WHY IS NOBODY READING / DISCUSSING MY ANIMANIACS FAN FICTION ???
MAKE SURE WHEN MOM OPENS THE CLOSET DOOR YOU REMAIN STILL LIKE E.T.
WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING THEY PUT THEIR MOPS TO
ADD ME TO THE LIST!!!!!! OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE MADE THIS JOKE
To unsubscribe from this list, enter your credit card number: ____ ____ ____ ____
NBC PRESENTS AN ALL-STAR COMEDY SALUTE TO *CLICK* BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
PROUD MEMBER OF THE CHICKCLICK ESTROGEN SNOWBALL UGO BLA-BLA ADSOURCE NETWORK
I'M GOING TO WRITE A BLACKADDER / MR. BEAN CROSSOVER WHICH TAKES PLACE ON GALLIFREY
FREE PORN!! CLICK HERE!! WARNING: SAME SHIT YOU SAW THREE YEARS AGO
TEN BILLION SHORT FLASH ANIMATIONS!!! ALL ON DVD!!!! CLICK HERE TO KILL YOURSELF
OKAY VERY FUNNY: WHO WROTE "SEX BOAT" ON MY CAR WITH SOAP THAT DOESN'T COME OFF
AT THIS TIME I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE URINE IN THE CAFETERIA
**HOT** TOSHIBA NOTEBOOKS NOW ON SALE IN SOME IDIOT'S GARAGE
IF ONLY I COULD JUST LEAVE THIS PLACE AND NEVER COME BACK
YOU SIR HAVE MADE US THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE QUADRANT
UH-OH!! THE GUY WITH THE WORF SHIRT IS UPSET WITH HIS SHIFT LEADER !!
I REFUSE TO PAY THE PHONE BILL DUE TO THE FACT IT VIOLATES FREE SPEECH
*BONK* OW MY HEAD WITH A BEER BOTTLE
WHEN YOU SAID LET'S GO OUT FOR A DRINK I THOUGHT YOU MEANT WITH AN ACTUAL GLASS
FUNNY DINOSAURS: THE COCKASAURUS NUTS!! THE PRICKASAURUS FACE!! THE DONG-A-LAPTICYL etc
IS THERE SUCH A THING AS THE LESBIAN-ONLY WINDOW MANAGER ??
NBC 8pm: The Drunk Guy Who Never Shuts Up Whose Name Is Dad (Cc, Stereo)
QUICK!!! GRAB THIS SACK OF FLOUR AND - *FOOMP* OH GOD JESUS NO YOU IDIOT QUITTING MY GAS STATION JOB AND STARTING A WEB-BASED SOAP OPERA
IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY, BEING "DISSED" MEANS BEING "DISRESPECTED" !!
ZERO HITS TO MY LIVE FILK CYBERCAST ????????
I WILL SUE FOR THE RIGHT TO LICK YOUR DICK (FAXING YOU THE CONSTITUTION)
IS THIS SOME KIND OF CYBERFEMINIST WEBZINE???
SHOULD I TAKE VITAMIN E OR JUST FIVE MILLION E TABLETS??? HOMPTH STUFF *BLGK*
WITHOUT RACISM, HOW WOULD WE TELL EACH OTHER APART ???
ME MACINTOSH PROGRAMMER, ME CRASHUM MEMORY HEAP MACSBUG
[an error occurred while processing this noisy, disruptive ad]
Collect all one million billion plastic iMacs!
VISUALIZE WORLD PEACE!!!! SCREECH SMASH BOOM BURN
Experience the wonder of Jack in the Box
THIS BONGHIT WILL MAKE ME FUNNY!!
MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS BROKEN BUT I CAN STILL TYPE PLEASE DONATE
I ONLY SUCK DICK IN SELF DEFENSE AND AT THE BOOKSTORE
THIS LOOKS MORE LIKE THE UNDERSIDE OF A TOILET AND LESS LIKE MACWORLD EXPO
MY PAC MAN FEVER IS NOW OFFICIALLY FULL BLOWN PAC MAN AIDS
SASSY, CYNICAL WEB EDITRIX WITH A REGISTERED COPY OF DREAMWEAVER AND A VISION
VERY FUNNY WITH THE CIGARETTE LIGHTER UNDER MY NUTS
PSST: I CAN SEE STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR DRESS TO YOUR FLOWERY BLOOMERS
A SPILLED BONG IS JUST A MOPPORTUNITY
"ADOBE" IS ALMOST EBOLA SPELLED BACKWARDS
*POOF* MAGICALLY I TRANSFORM MYSELF INTO SOMETHING AMUSING
WHAT A GREAT DAY WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE!! I MEAN THAT!! *HURK* suicide
Win a FREE computer for $1840.00 plus $93.15 tax and $40.00 shipping
COME WITH ME ON A TRANCELADELIC EXCURSIONAL ODYSSEY OF ELECTRONICA !!!!!!
I'M A LIMPWRITHTED JEDI MATHTER UTHING THE FORTH
WHAT WOULD BE FUNNY WOULD BE TO REGISTER BONERS.COM
Ask Jeeves: CAN I GET AIDS FROM TAKING A SHIT ????
IF YOU SMASH THE AIR CONDITIONER ALL THE GIRLS WILL EVENTUALLY TAKE THEIR SHIRTS OFF
I WISH YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS WOULD STOP LOGGING IN HERE AND TRYING TO BE FUNNY
I GOT MY TIE CAUGHT IN THE COPIER AGAIN
CHASING YOU AROUND THE HOUSE TO A REPETITIVE DANNY ELFMAN SOUNDTRACK
PRETEND I'M PAUL FROM THE DIAMOND CENTER AND YOU NEED CREDIT
SINCE WHEN IS THE ART OF COMEDY SIMPLY AVOIDING TOILET HUMOR
YOU'RE MAKING BEING STONED AT ONE IN THE AFTERNOON UNPLEASANT
I SHOULD MAIL THIS PAGE TO MY BOSS AND MY MOM AND ALL MY FRIENDS!!! WORD UP!!!
MY DOG SAYS I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO YOU (ONLINE OR OTHERWISE)
FOLKS: I AM A ***PERSON*** WITH ***FEELINGS***
ENROLL NOW: THE DICKLICKING FINISHING SCHOOL OF DUMBFUCK, COCKSUCKERSVILLE
CHEERS to separate dorm rooms for boys and girls!!! JEERS to locks/deadbolts
I BUILT A CONTENT PUBLISHING SYSTEM OUT OF TOILET PAPER! (COME LOOK)
**SOB** MY TAMAGOCHI DIED!!! trash can
OKAY WHO FILLED THE TOILET BOWL ABOVE AND BEYOND THE WATERLINE
SOMETIMES I WAKE UP AND LEGOS ARE IN MY UNDERWEAR
INSPIRATIONAL FAITH-BASED MAGIC SHOW IN THE BREAKROOM AT 3:30!! PLEASE COME!!
Click here to help build another Starbucks, Noah's Bagels, Jamba Juice or Old Navy!
CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE ELITE UNDERGROUND MONEY SPENDING WEBRING
IN ANCIENT LANDS I MIGHT COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES I BEAT OFF LIKE SO: MCMDLVII
ONLY THE HIPPEST MEMBERS OF GENERATION Y NEED CLICK HERE
SPECIAL REPORT: Are Our School Shootings Safe?
GOTTA HAVE A MC-D-L-T / IF YOU WANNA BE / WITH / ME
I'M INTERCEPTING YOUR PACKETS AND DECODING YOUR SECRET GAYNESS SO GIVE ME MONEY
PINK HEARTS - YELLOW MOONS - ORANGE STARS - GREEN CLOVERS - PURPLE BRUISES
YES - BUT CAN IT REALLY HELP ME WEAVE DREAMS ???
Download the newest, slowest, most non-functional version of Netscape Communicator NOW!
WHAT IF YOU WERE SINKING IN QUICKSAND AND I THREW YOU A MOZARELLA STICK??
THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED AND MY PANTS ARE DOWN
IS THIS AD ENOUGH OF AN IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE FOR YOU DUMBSHITS
Don't be a dick: if this site goes into basic, please type RUN at the "]" prompt.
I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL 2086 WHEN THE MARS ROBOT COMES BACK WITH ROCKS!!!
...:::;;;===((({{{[[[<<< I SAID KILL YOURSELF >>>]]]}}})))===;;;:::...
WE'VE REPLACED YOU WITH A PIECE OF SCOTCH TAPE ACROSS THE OPTION KEY
{[[~{{A ~[[A{~[ ???~''?''?~'''??'' DUH NEED FRASH 5 PRUG-IN FOR VIEWING [A[A~[~{[A~
hglbhgl bhlhglb hlghpth I PUBLISH FICTION AND POLITICAL NON-FICTION blghlbh glbhl thpk
WIRED REJECTED MY ESSAY ABOUT HOW MUCH MY MOM SUCKS
I PUT ASCII CATS AND CHOCOLATE-RELATED INSPIRATIONAL SNIPPETS IN MY SIG !!
I'M TIRED OF YOUR NORDSTROM SUITS AND THAT CARTON OF BANANA YOGURT EVERY DAY
MY DJ NAME IS M.C. DONALDS AND I SPIN VINYL ABOUT BURGERS AND FRIES AND SHAKES
DRIVE YOUR WEB COUNTER BALLISTIC!!!!! 0000000000000002
ARE YOU THERE GOD??? I NEED A SNICKERS
I'M GOING TO VISUALLY INSPECT MY DOODLE FOR SIGNS OF VERBAL ABUSE
I SHOULD SMOKE THIS DOPE JUST TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS
ARE YOU JERKING OFF AS A DEFENSE MECHANISM?
I SURE AM COZY UNDER THESE BLANKETS!!! OH GOD A SPIDER *BONK* OW JESUS I THINK ELLEN SHOULD GET ALZHEIMER'S AND "COME OUT" IN EVERY EPISODE
REMINDER: YOU CAN PUT PORNOGRAPHY ON A CD AS EASILY AS IDIOTIC MUSIC
THESE DIRTY MAGAZINES ARE FOR AN ART PROJECT, NOT A BEATING OFF PROJECT
AND THEN YOU WOKE UP AND IT WAS ALL A DREAM!!! THE END
PBS (9:30pm) - The Day The Universe Went Off The Air Because Nobody Wanted Tote Bags
FOLKS CAN WE PLEASE NEVER SPELL IT "BOLOGNA"
RED HEARTS YELLOW MOONS ORANGE STARS GREEN CLOVERS AND FUCKING FAGGOTS
CAN SOMEONE SELL ME A BOOK ON HOW TO GET MY WEBSITE CACHED IN GOOGLE??
PARDON MY FRENCH BUT CAN I PLEASE HAVE A HANDJOB
WHO ARE THESE IDIOT KIDS AND WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME DAD
I HOPE YOU USE THE INFORMATION FOR GOOD AND NOT TO TELL MY BOSS
I DON'T LIKE LOTION CALLED "KISS MY FACE"
I LIKE MASTURBATING BECAUSE OF ALL THE CUDDLE TIME AFTERWARDS
This is the hardest letter I've ever had to leave on your front porch.
LA LA LA LA LA HOLDING MY HANDS OVER MY EARS NOT LISTENING
SQUEEZING A PERFECT "S" OF TOOTHPASTE ALONG MY DICK AND BRUSHING YOUR TEETH
I GUESS THERE'S NOTHING COOL ABOUT PUNCHING CHILDREN OR THE ELDERLY
HEY EVERYONE: LET'S HOP ABOARD THE BIG PORNOGRAPHY VAN TO MEXICO
PRETEND I'M THE 54 TO WESTGATE AND YANK MY DICK AND SAY NEXT STOP PLEASE
THIS PORN VIDEO HAS NO JERKOFFABLE GIRLS
Secret Decoder Ring: F U CN RD THS U HV 2 SCNDZ 2 LK 10 MLN DX
REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED UP IN ONLINE WEBZINE FORMAT!! CLICK FOR COUPONS
SORRY, THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MEMORY TO OPEN TEACH TEXT
Register to win an endless, massive hosing of spam from which there can be no escape!
WHONK WHONK OH GOD THE PIPE IT'S HITTING THE BRIDGE OF MY NOSE
Stay in school! Say no to drugs! Learn MORE about Jesus Christ! Prevent abortions! Click here!
FOR SHOW AND TELL THIS WEEK I HAVE CHOSEN TO COMMIT SUICIDE!! *BLAM* chalkboard
COULD THE PERSON IN THE NEXT STALL PLEASE LET GO OF MY PANT LEG
THE LITTLE ASCII ART DUCK WHO NEVER STOPPED COMPLAINING: o< THIS SUCKS
IF YOU DON'T WORK FOR UPS YOU'RE NOT ENTITLED TO STAMP MY PACKAGE
EIGHT SNICKERS LATER I HAVE DIARRHEA
WHEN IS THAT GOSH DARN HARRY POTTER GOING TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ??
YOU'RE CORDIALLY INVITED ........... (open card) ........... TO SUCK COCK!!
LICK THE DICK AND WIN 20 DOLLARS!!!
SORRY FOR THE WIDE DISTRIBUTION: I CANNOT FIT THROUGH THE STALL DOOR
Reuters (AP) - WORLD TRADE CENTER NEW SUPER STARBUCKS
RELATIVELY CERTAIN I HAVE NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE
DO YOU GALS LIKE EUROPEANS?? CAUSE I'VE GOT RUSSIAN HANDS AND ROMAN FINGERS
POKING AND STROKING MY WAY INTO A GOOD COLLEGE
I NAMED MY HAMSTER MORPHEUS !!!!!! THEN HE DIED AND I FLUSHED HIM
Subject: I would also like everyone to know I'm aware this mail is a hoax!!! CC:ALL
REVOLUTIONARY "FACEPHONES" ALLOW GIRLS TO GIVE BLOWJOBS OVER NETWORK
OPTIMIZED AS IN OPTIMIZTIC.
I'M WEARING BIG SHOES AND CLOMPING AROUND TO A TECHNO CD!!! HOLD MY HAND
WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS I AM THE WORST POKEMON TRAINER EVER
THE INTERNET IS A GIFT FROM OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST!!!!
A&E 7:00pm: Bill Kurtis puts the "gay" in "Investigaytive Reports" (Cc, Stereo)
"PAYPAL" SOUNDS LIKE A GAY PORNO DVD TO ME
SORRY LADY!! I BEAT OFF TO BLONDES, I DON'T TALK TO THEM
BOSTON WAGES WAR AGAINST CANCER: BOSTON 0, CANCER 80,000,000,000,000
CELEBRATING THE FIVE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THIS COMPANY'S INCOMPETENCESHIP
ONLY ONE WORD DESCRIBES E-COMMERCE: CYBER CALI FRAGIL ISTIC EXPIALI DOCIOUS !!!!!!
OKAY EVERYONE RESIZE YOUR WINDOWS WIDE BECAUSE HERE COMES A PBS PLEDGE BREAK
I DO NOT NOW, NOR WILL I EVER HAVE A WEINER DUDE ATTITUDE
Apply now for INSTANT CREDIT and chop your head off.
Win FREE school supplies, backpacks, bongs, bags of weed, pellet guns!
TOO DAZED WITH DICKS TO BOOKMARK THE BABYLON 5 FAQ ??? DOWNLOAD THE PDF
Are you tired of living in fear and constantly changing your phone number?
OKAY I HAVE TO ASK MY MANAGER FOR HELP WITH THE BADGE-SWIPER THING
Click here for your free Pepsi One Infotainment calendar! *BLAM* dead forever
You may kiss the bride! **BLAM** OH GOD HE SHOT HIMSELF!!!! OH GOD HELP HELP
WHEN MIRRORS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL LOOK PRETTY AND WEAR MAKE UP
THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT LIVING WITH TEN CATS ON NOB HILL
MY RED SPACESHIP SMASHED INTO A BLUE PLANET AND OUR CREW WAS MAROONED!! GET IT???
Netcenter: Netscape ships Communicator 6.0.3.5a with support for rendering HTML
Make a cyberdifference in a child's life
WHETHER YOU PLAY THEM ALONE OR IN GROUPS / ONLINE GAMES ARE INFINITE LOOPS
SOMEONE STOLE THE BUTTERSCOTCHES FROM MY DESK DRAWER
I'LL NAME MY SERVER "DILBERT" AND THEN GIRLS WILL LIKE ME
I'M A CHARCOAL BRIQUETTE!!! SQUIRT ME WITH FLUID AND LIGHT ME!!! *FOOMP* URF
HEY TEACHERS: STOP TRYING TO MAKE SCIENCE FUN
BOTH MY PANTS POCKETS ARE FLOPPED OUT!!! KISS THE BUNNY ON THE NOSE??
CHILD MOLESTERS AND PEDOPHILES ON THE INTERNET ??? I SIMPLY DON'T BELIEVE IT
"BINDIST" CAN ALSO BE PRONOUNCED "BEEN DISSED" WHICH MEANS "BEEN DISRESPECTED"
DEAR NAPSTER: KEEP ON REACHING FOR THAT BIG FAT INVISIBLE DICK IN THE SKY
T-SHIRTS!! COFFEE MUGS!! BUMPER STICKERS!! MOUSE PADS!! KILL YOURSELF THIS INSTANT
LADIES: CLICK HERE AND RECEIVE A FREE BOYFRIEND FOR ONE WEEK!!! THEN PLEASE LEAVE
YOU HAVE BEEN KICKED OFF CHANNEL #BRITNEYFANZ
I'M NOT "CONSTANTLY STONED" - I TAKE TIME OUT TO ORDER POTSTICKERS
I'M GOING TO ROLL UP MY DIPLOMA INTO A TUBE AND SET IT ON FIRE AND BLAST OFF
I GET CONFUSED BETWEEN THE CINGULAR WIRELESS LOGO AND BLOOD SPATTER
BUG #39439: MY DONG IS CAUGHT IN A WINE BOTTLE!!! NOT A JOKE
YOU HAVE THE **POTENTIAL** TO BE AN A STUDENT IF ONLY YOU'D just give me a blowjob
HELP STARVING CHILDREN MAKE CLOTHES AND HATS FROM CONSTRUCTION PAPER
THANKS FOR CHOPPING DOWN ALL THE TREES AND NAMING STREETS AFTER THEM
Easy-Access Email! Wireless Webs! *GURK* HOSE DOWN MY PANTS
PROUD TO OFFER A SMOKE-FREE, DRUG-FREE, ALCOHOL-FREE, EMPLOYEE-FREE WORKPLACE
REGISTER YOUR DOMAIN TODAY FOR ONLY TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS
NOTHING BEATS AN OFFICE COMEDIAN LIKE THIS TIRE IRON!! BONK *BANK* CLANK SHUT UP
m-must....... reach............. rape whistle....... .. . . . . . .
I AM PLAYING HOOKY FROM WORK AND I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I SHOULD BUY AT THE STORE
Hint: ASTERISKS REALLY **LEAP** OUT AND MAKE POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS GIVE A SHIT
I HAVE NO PEOPLE SKILLS WHATSOEVER
IT'S NOT ABOUT LICKING DICK IT'S ABOUT LICKING DICK UNDER OATH
LOOK AT MY WILTY LITTLE THINGAMADOODLE DANGLING IN THE SUMMER SUN
WE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT IN THIS HOUSE!! SHUT UP MOM
CAN WE ALL DO A BUSBY BERKELEY NUMBER WHERE WE LINE UP AND SUCK DICK
LEAVING MY FRONT DOOR UNLOCKED IN CASE GIRLS COME OVER
WE ROCKETED TO JUPITER AND DISCOVERED IT'S ALL WET GAS AND WE COULDN'T LAND
IF THIS TEXT WERE IN A UNIQUE LAYER IT COULD FLOAT AROUND!!
PULL MY DICK ONCE FOR YES, FOUR HUNDRED TIMES FOR NO
WHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE WORLD FLUSHED THE TOILET AT THE SAME TIME
GALS: THERE MAY BE ONLY 206 BONES IN YOUR BODY BUT I'M WILLING TO MAKE IT 207
I'M GOING TO HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
LET'S FORM A RAP SUPER GROUP AND SING ABOUT EDUCATION AND MATH!!! READY GO
YOU LIED ABOUT DOCTOR WHO BEING IN YOUR PANTS POCKET
CLICK TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ME!!!IMG SRC="GAY.JPG><JAVA="RECTANGLE">
LADIES: JOIN THE CUDDLE WUDDLE KITTY KLUB WEB RING TODAY
CBS 8:00pm. Will There Ever Be A Rainbow? (Cc, Stereo)
I WOULD LIKE TO CHOOSE STOP FROM THE BLOWJOB MENU
ROSES ARE RED / VIOLETS ARE BLUE / SOME POEMS RHYME / THIS ONE JUST FALLS APART
FOLKS I'M HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK: HURRRRFFFF HUHHHH glklth
LET'S GO TO SEARS AND TRY THINGS ON BUT NOT BUY ANYTHING
"FAGGOT" CAN ALSO MEAN A TIGHTLY-WRAPPED BUNDLE OF DICKS!!! I MEAN STICKS
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PLEASE HELP THIS BANNER AD STANDARDIZE A FAILED CONCEPT
I'M SENSING A LITTLE JUDGEMENT FROM YOU PEOPLE
WARNING: BONERS LOOSE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT
I SEE YOU TV-36!!!! static
ASK ME ABOUT THE EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIR I HAD WHERE I COULDN'T EVEN GET IT UP
I LIKE TO GET STONED AND TALK ABOUT THE COEN BROTHERS
WITHOUT ME, THE INSTALLER DISKETTES WOULD JUST GO UNLABELED
DID ANYONE GET MY FLYER ABOUT THE FREE TAROT READINGS IN MY CUBE DURING LUNCH
DRAGGING A STACK OF PORN ONTO A NETWORK PRINTER AND GOING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND
Subject: WHO STOLE THE VISUAL C++ CD'S FROM MY CUBE ??? I'M AN IDIOT
CATCH THE CYBERWAVE WITH THESE OTHER HOT BLOGS AND HYPERTEXT HOTLINKS....
IS THIS THE INTERNET?? HELLO TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY LIFE
CBS 8:00pm: Murder, She Mentioned (Cc, Stereo)
EARN VALUABLE COLLEGE CREDIT HANGING UPSIDE DOWN IN A CONCENTRATION CAMP
I CALL THEM ONLINE CYBERTOONZ!!! UPDATED EACH MONDAY!!! wheze, choke
WELCOME ${'username') WE HAVE RECOMMENDATIONS FOR YOU IN %%cookiedump%%\><DUH&
DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK UNTIL XMAS
Welcome! We have recommendations for you in assault rifles, duct tape, bomb making materials.
MY CD PLAYER IS SQUEAKING AND SQUAWKING LIKE MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND
JESUS CHRIST - JUST CLEAR THE BUFFER AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE
Fwd> Subject: WAS: RE: WAS: RE: WAS: RE: WAS: RE: WAS: RE: STOP STALKING ME
IGNORING ME IS NOT THE SOLUTION
SO I THINK ROBERT HEINEKEN IS MY FAVORITE SCI-FI AUTHOR WHO'S ALSO A BEER
HANDS UP WHO LIKES ME OR THINKS I'M PRETTY OR CAN GIVE ME MONEY
I SAID: HANDS UP WHO WANTS TO HELP MAKE AN ASCII-ONLY VERSION OF EVERQUEST
I THINK ELLEN SHOULD GET ALZHEIMER'S AND "COME OUT" IN EVERY EPISODE
WELPS, THE HEAD OF H.R. DIDN'T LIKE ME CALLING HER TITS AIR BAGS!!!!!
.:: THESE COLONS AND PERIODS SHOWCASE MY DESIGN SKILLS ::.
IF I SAID YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL BODY WOULD YOU LIVE AROUND HERE OFTEN???? COME BACK
GOSH DARN THESE TELEMARKETERS NEVER RETURNING MY CALLS
ONLY YOU CAN SAVE THIS SITE FROM FINANCIAL RUIN OR CRUEL JOKES ON FUCKED COMPANY
SOMEONE PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME
HOW DO DALEKS MASTURBATE WITH ALL THOSE KNOBS AND ETC???
I WOULD LIKE TO REGISTER AS A WEB DEVELOPER AND ALSO A CHILD MOLESTER
Warm hearted Christian man with values seeks chubby-cheeked pre-teen dicks ($$$)
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ONLY GOD AND THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE KNOW ABOUT YOUR PORNOGRAPHY COLLECTION
OKAY, WHO STOLE THE DIRTY MAGAZINES OUT FROM UNDER MY BED
Re: PISS ON MY FACE LIKE I'M A GAY FIRE RAGING OUT OF THE CLOSET
URMPH *BONK* SON OF A - OW - URF *HONK* WELL THIS IS A FINE ROMANCE
A&E - 9pm - TRAPPED IN A LAND WITH NO PORN OR TV
You have been /banned from channel bAcKstrEEt_bOyZ.
DEAR PENTHOUSE!!! CAN WE STOP DRESSING THEM UP AS CLOWNS ???
WITHOUT DONATIONS THERE CAN BE NO MORE FREE SODA IN THE BREAK ROOM
I'M A SKILLED IMMIGRANT WITH A TIE AND A RESUME AND A DREAM
HONEY CAN YOU PLEASE TURN AROUND AND NOT LOOK AT ME BEATING OFF??? THANX
**SOB** THE POOR OVERWORKED CHILDREN OF OTHER NATIONS
BREAK the nicotine habit and smash a car window and steal the CD player!
IF I COULD REARRANGE THE ALPHABET I'D PUT U AND I TOGETHER!!! THEN I'D DUMP U
Click here for your FREE trial issue of Yahoo Internet Life! CAUTION: 100% ANAL SEX
THIS BOOMERANG DOES NOT WORK!!!! IT IS STICK-SHAPED
IF YOU THROW OUT ALL THE G'S HIS NAME IS SNOOP DOY DO
WELPS - BACK TO BED UNTIL I CAN REMEMBER WHICH BUS TAKES ME TO WORK
You will soon read a generic fortune cookie.
I'M BRILLIANT!!! THE BALLS ATE MY BALLS PAGE!!! WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO IT!!!!
I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES SO I JUST MADE YOUR HORN HONK LOUDER
DO I NEED TO DRAW YOU A MAP TO THE PAYPAL DONATE BUTTON??
FOLKS: DOES VIVID VIDEO ACTUALLY EMPLOY MORE THAN ONE PORN STAR ????
MY MOM WAS ALL "YOU'RE NOT TAKING THE CAR" AND I WAS LIKE "FUCK YOU HITLER"
ETHNIC ALBANIANS???? MORE LIKE ETHNIC COMPLAINIANS
IN ENGLAND THEY MIGHT REFER TO ME AS A COLOURFUL PAEDOPHILE
TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, MASTURBATOR
WHO WANTS TO WATCH BUFFY WITH ME TONIGHT???? ANAL SEX FOR DESSERT!!!
CLICK HERE FOR TEN MILLION POP-UP WINDOWS ABOUT FORD TRUCKS AND THE X-10
I'D RATHER BE SAILING!!! *BONK* OW glub glub
HOW CAN THEY BE SWEET *****AND**** TART??? (ASKING JEEVES)
MENTAL NOTE: MORE DICK JOKES, LESS ARTSY-FARTSY EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT
DISAPPOINTED BY THE RICH MILK CHOCOLATE BUT DELIGHTED BY THE NOUGAT
MY TROUSERS ARE WHAT WE HERE IN THE SILICON VALLEY LIKE TO CALL "CONTENT RICH"
IF I WERE A TUFTE, I'D WANT THE LORAX TO SAVE ME (AND NOT GET CHOPPED DOWN BY POLLUTION)
IF YOU HEAR BEAUTIFUL MUSIC COMING FROM A TOILET IT'S PROBABLY A TRAP
WHY IS NOBOODY LAUGHING AT MY HILARIOUS WEBSITE
REMEMBER THE EIGHTIES???!?! REMEMBER THE SEVENTIES??? FUCK YOU IDIOT MORONS FOREVER
EXCUSE ME LADY BUT THAT DOORKNOB OVER THERE NEEDS TO KNOW IF YOU THINK I'M CUTE
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND I CLEANED YOUR KITCHEN AND FOLDED ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHO STUFFED MY STYROFOAM SOLAR SYSTEM SHOEBOX DIORAMA DOWN THE TOILET ??
DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE INSOMNIAC AGNOSTIC DYSLEXIC ?? HE WASN'T FUNNY
NOBODY CAME TO MY POETRY TENT AT BURNING MAN
HONK IF YOUR DAUGHTER IS FAILING HER CLASSES
Ladies: CLICK HERE to download free chocolate and coupons!
PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY BONER UNDER THE TABLE AT THANKSGIVING
SERIOUSLY: WHO FILLED MY BONG WITH BIRD SEED AND HUNG IT FROM A TREE
MY DAD POOFED INTO A BAT AND FLAPPED INTO MY ROOM AND PUT HIS WING DOWN MY PANTS
DOWN WITH PANTS AND UP WITH SKIRTS
SOMETIMES I PUSH THE BOTTOM OF MY SHIRT UP THROUGH THE COLLAR LIKE A HEE-HAW GIRL
LA LA LA LA / LIVE FOR TODAY / LA LA LA LA / FAGGOTS ARE GAY
OKAY: YOU PULL THE FIRE ALARM AND I'LL THROW THE BEER BOTTLE
THE NEW BRITNEY CD SURE IS UPBEAT AND FULL OF TEEN PEP !!!!!! *GAK* roofies
FOX 10:00pm. Fox Presents: When Commercials Attack (Cc, Stereo)
AT THE VERY LEAST I HAVE MY BLOG TO FALL BACK ON
IT'S HARD FOR ME TO GRIP BOTH THE HANDLEBARS AND THE SHAMROCK SHAKE
I CAN OPEN A CAN OF PRINGLES USING JUST MY TEETH AND BOTH HANDS AND A CAN OPENER
I LIKE TO THINK MY RADIOACTIVE KITTY CAT HAS EIGHTEEN HALF-LIVES
DOES YOUR BOSS CALL PLAYING WITH HIS NUTS A "REORG" ?
UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE CONCEPT OF A "MODEM WIZARD"
Kids! Click here to learn more about decimals and fractions!
***FREE*** EMAIL!!!!! IT CANNOT BE!!!! CLICKING HERE EVEN THOUGH IT'S A TRAP
IN DEBT? Change your name and run away and hide forever.
OVERWEIGHT MOMS: CLICK HERE FOR AN INCREDIBLE DIET PROGRAM INVOLVING ANAL SEX
WELPS - GUESS I'LL WRITE AN APPLESCRIPT AND TAKE OFF FOR THE DAY
ONLY NICE, CUTE GIRLS UNDER 21 SHOULD CLICK HERE
DEAR GOD PLEASE DON'T FIRE ME UNTIL I'VE SAVED SOME MONEY
THAT IS NOT THE SORT OF LANGUAGE I EXPECT FROM A WEB DEVELOPER
THIS JUST IN: ASDFL;KA J#*% &*$(BLG K#%V 9BU490J HGJKLTH
EXPOSED: THE SECRET CONFERENCES OF THE ONE-MAN BATHROOM STALL AT WORK BEATOFF SOCIETY
I'M A CHAR TO A STAR TO A POINTER TO THIS GUN TO RIGHT IN MY MOUTH AND GOODBYE
IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME $10.00 I'LL JUST TELL EVERYONE YOU MOLESTED ME
*GAK* THE SWEATSHIRT HOOD PULLED DOWN OVER MY HEAD AND *GLK* THE STRINGS
I SEE YOU SCANNING GAY GROUPS AND GIVING OUT YOUR WORK NUMBER ON CHANNEL #FAGGOT
YOU'RE VISITOR 000000003!! THANKS FOR STOPPING IN!!
FOR THE LAST TIME: AN ELF IS WORTH MORE THAN AN ORC BUT *LESS* THAN A UNICORN
HELP ME ACHIEVE DEATH BY WAY OF A PROSTITUTE OVERDOSE
SELF-ESTEEM WORKSHOP AT MY PLACE???? PLEASE BRING HUGE BAGS OF WEED
FOLKS, ONE OF MY FIVE CATS JUST KNOCKED THE BONG OVER
$$$$ MAKE MONEY FAST $$$$ OH GOD HELP I'M DROWING IN THE TOILET
HOW MANY MORE GNOCCI AL PESTO DUMPLINGS CAN I STUFF IN MY MOUTH !?!??! STAY TUNED
KICKED OUT OF THE SILICON VALLEY LINUX USERS GROUP FOR MASTURBATING
X X X PLAYBOY'S COLLEGE GIRLS I GAVE A BLACK EYE TO AND THEN TOOK MONEY FROM X X X
YOUR ORDER WITH AMAZON.COM HAS BEEN PROCESSED !!!!!!!!! *BONK* toilet bowl
THIS STEERING WHEEL DOWN MY PANTS IS DRIVING ME NUTS !!!!!!!!! GET IT
A VERY SPECIAL TWO-HOUR SEASON PREMIERE !!!! noose neck snap etc
MOMS! Click here for a basket of cuddly kittens wearing American flags!
Food Network 11:35am. Diagnosis: Cinnamon Buns (Cc, Stereo)
PBS 9:00pm: NOVA. Anne Frank Meets the Daleks (Cc, Stereo)
PRETEND OUR CAR IS DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE AND YOU HAVE TO KISS ME
BY PLACING M&M'S INTO A PAPER CUP I CAN PRACTICALLY DRINK THEM
Discovery 8:00pm. "Smart" dicks which suck themselves and also each other (Cc, Stereo)
SAY THE PHRASE "LINUX DISK IMAGES" AND SEE HOW LONG I STAY AWAKE
WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS DOPE MY STONISH MOCKERY???
I CAN'T SPEAK FOR EVERYONE BUT I LIKE TO CARRY MY DICE AROUND IN A POUCH
ONLINE GAMBLING - CLICK HERE TO SUCK OUR DICKS FOREVER - VISA/MC/AMEX
MY PROGRAM WON'T COMPILE AND ALSO I WENT BLIND LOOKING AT THE ECLIPSE
I SHOULD MAKE A FUNNY FAQ WITH ASCII ART ABOUT MY FAMILY AND MAIL IT TO MOM
URGENT!! CLICK HERE FOR SPECIAL OFFERS AND oh fuck it already
Rent all the DVD's you want for FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS
INSTANT MESSAGE FROM JESUS CHRIST: YOU'RE FIRED
WIGGLE YOUR TOE!!! WIGGLE YOUR TOE!!! CHRIST JESUS MOM: SHUT UP
Learn more about frequent, painful urination.
I HAVE CHARTS AND GRAPHS WHICH ILLUSTRATE HOW IMPORTANT I AM
SIR YOUR CAT IS SITTING ON ME AND WON'T GET UP AND KEEPS GOING TO THE BATHROOM
KNOW WHAT I HAD FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING ???? PORN CATALOGS !!!
FIRST I WILL CLONE MYSELF, THEN I WILL KILL MYSELF
CHOCOLATE AND SHOPPING AND BATHING SUITS AND GETTING FIRED
CAN'T REALLY SAY WHY I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND (SHOVING YOU OUT THE DOOR)
MAYBE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN BY "SUCK THE DICK OR LOSE YOUR JOB"
I WISH A CARTOONIST WOULD DRAW A STARBUCKS ON THE MOON!!! HILARIOUS!!(&*$
GALS: I JUST TOOK A DATE-RAPE DRUG AND I'LL BE OUTSIDE ASLEEP ON THE LAWN
I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR CODE - SUGGESTIONS REALLY, IN THE FORM OF DIRECT ORDERS
You have been kicked off channel #GAY_WITH_KISSES
CLEAN UP ON AISLE 2-13
JUST KEEP CLICKING UNTIL YOUR HOUSE BURNS DOWN
HEY: HOW DOES A CAT SUCK COCK???? WITH ITS *****MEOWTH*****
OUT COMES THE YELLOW PAGES AND STRAIGHT TO THE ESCORT SECTION
Re: SEXUALLY ABUSED DURING THE FIRST YEAR OF MY EMPLOYMENT
REMEMBER THE APPLE II+ ?? REMEMBER ATARI ADVENUTRE ?? FIND DAD'S GUN AND BRING IT TO SCHOOL
I ALSO HAVE A SERIOUS SIDE AND I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING TREATED MORE MATURELY
FOLKS MY PSYCHIC GIRLFRIEND DUMPED ME BEFORE I EVEN ASKED HER OUT
THESE LINKS ARE BLATANT HARASSMENT IN MY OPINIONATION
SIR MY BUS PASS SEEMS TO HAVE EXPIRED DUE TO THE FACT I CAN'T FIND IT
NICKELODEON 9:00am: Spaceship Boring blasts off to Planet Snooze (Cc, Stereo)
Q: WHEN IS PIXAR GOING TO TURN THIS SITE INTO A HEARTWARMING ANIMATED COMEDY ??
YOUR PARTICIPLES AREN'T THE ONLY THING DANGLING
UPDATE: CHRISTOPHER REEVE PUSHES HEALTH INSURANCE REFORM (WITH HIS NOSE)
psst: i accidentally spilled dope smoke into my mouth and lungs ten times
FAGGOT CAN ALSO MEAN A TIGHTLY-WRAPPED BUNDLE OF DICKS!!! I MEAN STICKS
DURRRRRRRRR THIS HOLOGRAM T-SHIRT PROVES I'M MICROSOFT CERTIFIED
SURE LADY, I'LL HAVE PHONE SEX WITH YOU!!! *SQUIRT* GOODNIGHT!!!! clonk, ba-donk
BINDIST CAN ALSO BE PRONOUNCED "BEEN DISSED" WHICH MEANS "BEEN DISRESPECTED"
DESIGNERS: DOES YOUR WEB PAGE LOOK ENOUGH LIKE MTV???? *HURK* DOG SHIT
Click here to support mandatory prayer in public schools!
Help save our oceans by removing the sea sponges soaking it all up!
Fwd> Re: should i stick dee-lite.gif in the /white or /colored dir
First law of artificially intelligent robots: ONLY HARM MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS
I'M AN ELECTRONIC MUSICIAN SCULPTING SYNTHESIZED SOUND SHAPES!! *GLK* suicide
Caution: Gothic Vampire Zone!!!!><BR><IMG SRC="BAT/JPG")><
BANNER ADS: GUARANTEED TO KEEP THOSE GOD DAMN LITERATURE/ART SNOBS FAR AWAY
I SHOULD MAIL YOU A PLAIN ENVELOPE STUFFED WITH POSITIVE ATTITUDETHRAX
PSST: WHEN THE SPACE SHUTTLE RETURNS WE SHOULD ALL DRESS IN APE SUITS
INSTANT MESSAGE: FUCK YOU
About Us! | Clients | Portfolio | Privacy Policy | Blowjobs | Suicide | Heil Hitler
IT'S NO COINCIDENCE THAT STONER RHYMES WITH LONER RHYMES WITH BONER
ANY BLOOM COUNTY FANS??? OOP!! ACK!!! killing myself
WHAT'S STRANGE IS WHY MY PANTS ARE DOWN AND THE LIGHTS ARE OFF
MY WEB-BASED SOAP OPERA WAS A WEB-BASED DISASTER
Are you overweight or in debt or depressed or just freaked out constantly?
ON MY SHITTY TV THE PEOPLE'S LAWYER APPEARS TO HAVE A PEOPLE'S BONER
VIRUS ALERT!!! HURRRRRRRR *HONK* BLOWJOBS
WHEN MY PAGER VIBRATES I GET A NOSE BLEED
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT'S FRUIT ROLLED UP IN A TUBE
I AM SWEDISH AND DROWNING AND ASKING FOR HJALP!! JA JA IN DER TOILET
ROCKIN' OUT WITH A PILLSBURY TOASTER STRUDEL!!!!! LOUD ANGRY GUITAR MUSIC
ANY GALS HERE INTO MUSIC??? BECAUSE I'M A TWELVE-INCH SINGLE
*** FREE chocolate ice cream cones delivered to your ex-girlfriend's lap ***
MAY I PLEASE COMMIT SEPPUKU AND BUKKAKE AT THE SAME TIME??? SPLURK STAB SPLORT
PLEASE SEND ME PIX!! WRITING YOU AGAIN IN CASE THE FIRST MAIL DISAPPEARED
OFF YOU GO / TO SPEND YOUR DOUGH / WITHOUT YOUR COMMON SENSE / YOU'RE A DOUGH-NUT
JOIN SALON TABLETALK AND RECEIVE A FREE TOTEBAG!! *BLAM* OH GOD *BLAM BLAM*
THIS IS THE UPPERCASE CLUB!! YOU NEED UPPERCASE JACKETS AND TIES TO BE HERE
STOP PULLING MY PIGTAILS
KBHK 11:00am: Jerry Springer. Scheduled: people with problems. (Cc, Stereo)
ARE YOU REALLY GAY BECAUSE OF A FREAK TRANSPORTER ACCIDENT??? LIAR
WHY YES!!! I'D LOVE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR FANTASY BASKETBALL TEAM!!!
OKAY SLIPPING MY BUSINESS CARD UNDER THE STALL DOOR SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW ME
FOLKS I'VE BEEN FIRED FROM SIX COMPANIES FOR MY UFO BELIEFS
FAMILY MATTERS FOLLOWED BY FULL HOUSE AND THEN A BONUS FAMILY MATTERS
Instant Rap: DO THAT TRICK / WHERE YOU LICK MY DICK / etc / etc
*SPLUTTER* *CHOKE* ALL OVER MY NEW DRESS AND SHOES AND MEMBERS-ONLY JACKET
EXCITING OFFERS FROM SPRINT, AT&T, BANK OF AMERICA, PROCTOR & GAMBLE
THAT'S OKAY SOMETIMES IT HAPPENS AND WE CAN TRY AGAIN IN A FEW MINUTES etc.
I LOADED THE DOPE-SMOKING PIPE AND THEN WANDERED AWAY FROM IT LIKE AN IDIOT
DOES WAVING A FLAG IN YOUR FACE FOR THREE HOURS COUNT AS PATRIOTISM
Earn bonus miles! MILES AND MILES OF DICK UNFURLING LIKE A HOSE
YOU CAN ME TO THE TRASH CAN WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A GLANCE
*SIGH* PLEASE STOP FOLLOWING ME DOWN THE HALLWAY ASKING QUESTIONS YOU STUPID TOOL
HANDS UP WHO STOLE MY DATING RESUME FROM OUT OF THE PRINTER TRAY ??
I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT AN UNLICKED DICK IN THE NORTHWEST CORNER OF MY PANTS
IF I LISTEN TO THE SAME BANANARAMA SONG TWO HUNDRED TIMES IN A ROW, I GET SICK OF IT
THAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH HUMOR AT THE EXPENSE OF PEOPLE WITH TESTICULAR CANCER
BANANARAMA GOT A LOT BETTER AFTER THEY DUMPED BIG-NOSE
Do you have holes poked in you, rendering you useless to collectors?
I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH HOW YOU MAKE FUN OF ME
I HAD AN ACCIDENT AND FILLED UP MY PANTS LIKE AN AIRBAG