User:Gripsbook/Lorde

Lorde is a 17-year-old Grammy-winning Jewish pop "singer"/"songwriter" from Middle Earth who became popular in 2013. Like Macklemore, Lorde is a product of mainstream corporations' attempts to cater to the hipster/Tumblr generation. Also like Justin Bieber, she is a product of people's belief that a teenager who sings is "amazing" and "a talented prodigy" when in reality it just means they haven't had any time to get good at it or develop their own musical personality.

She is additionally famous on /mu/ for having (allegedly) posted her first big hit there before anywhere else.

Early Life

Lorde was born Ella Yelich-O'Connor, the daughter of a shitty bourgeois poet. She was apparently some sort of genius who read Kurt Vonnegut at age 12, although this is probably just the tabloid way of saying she was forced to read that dumb Harrison Bergeron story in middle school like everyone else. Instead of nurturing her evidently gifted young mind and making sure she had a broad understanding of the world and her own interests by the time she was mature enough to know what she wanted to do in life, Ella's attention whore mother decided to shill her out to the music industry at 13.

Because young teenagers and the entertainment industry go so well together.

Despite her amazing genius she didn't make any music worthy of note until she was partnered with producer Joel Little, a dime-store Clams Casino. Before the release of her hit EP The Love Club she probably spent the best part of four years spamming Kanye threads.

Viral Marketing on /mu/

In late December of 2012, a thread appeared on /mu/. It went unnoticed among the thousands of similar "check out my Soundcloud" threads, due to its being fairly mediocre but not bad enough to be lulz. Even the fact that it had been posted by a girl did not garner this boring shit any more attention - despite the fact that it would soon produce a #1 hit single worldwide.

It is unknown whether Lorde herself, her producer, or someone in her entourage posted that fateful link to "Royals". It is known that it can't have been anyone who wasn't part of Lorde's inner circle, since the track had yet to go worldwide via Sean Parker's Spotify playlist. Either way, the market testing was successful. Having determined that nobody on /mu/ gave a shit about it, Lorde's producers guaranteed that her music was, indeed, suitable for regular non-autists to listen to. The Love Club EP was released in March 2013, "Royals" re-released as a single in October 2013 and the rest is history.

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File: Thread_1.png|Derailed in three posts. Oh, /mu/. File: Thread_2.png