- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Bookofglitter
This article needs moar pwetty pictures. You can help by adding moar pwetty pictures. |
Bookofglitter is the name of a blog by an unfortunate emo twilight fan that came to the attention of 4chan for her lack of talent and the unbridled ability to make grown men puke at the sight of her twisted snazz. She claims to have powers over anon, such as, but not limited to "SENTENCE ALL 4CHANNEL PEOPLE TO NO SHITTING FOR 1 WEEK.", by "the pwoer vested in my by the Glitterland Celestial board of womanhood."
At this point, there is little known about her. She calls herself Princess, but her true name is believed to be Dianne. She resides in Nashville, TN and has a daughter. The name of said spawn has not been revealed to us at this time.
Princess has apparently been filling the internet with her emo shit-style poetry for several years now. It is a small miracle anon did not notice her sooner. Upon close inspection of her works, one can slowly follow the downward spiral of her insanity (which has now reach a certifiable "Batshit" status). Several recurring themes appear in her work: Cheetahs, Dragons, Sex, Food, Sex with Food, Sex with Cheetahs, and Sex with Dragons eating food.
In her first post, she claims to be adopted, and grew up never knowing her mother. However, several posts later, she has apparently learned her mother was a "Rose Colored Dragon" from a magical place called Glitterland. Good ole Dragon-Mom did earth the diservice by giving birth to Princess here on earth, or as Princess puts it, "She shit me out of her dragonpuss, and flew away".
Princess claims that Glitterland is another dimension accessible only by taking the "Magic Flute Boat". Unfortunately for anon, we "can't get a ticket, ass!"
All of these ramblings she calls her "Dreamwords". However, her blog is also filled with "realwords" including description of how she is abused by her boyfriend Shaun, and how she begs for the cock of some unlucky fellow named "Jeff". Recently, however, she has turned attention away from Jeff, as he has now been christened: The Turd Lord.
Princess is also known for having a temper and being beat by her boyfriend. Because he loves her.
By posting tons of unrelated tl;dr, she claims to have also beaten 4chan. her article was BAWWWLEETED after she looked in the mirror for the first time.
UPDATE & CURRENT STATUS
It has been revealed that on Halloween 2009, Princess engaged in buttsecks with 3 members of anon. In her mind, this proved she had "beaten 4chan" because, "if i'm so fat and disgusting, who would want to sleep with me?". Shortly after this occurred, Princess had her blog deleted.
Princess has since moved her blog to a new address: enslaved-heart.blogspot.com
Poetry
Her writing has all the erotic thrill and shame of fapping to the Bible as you're reading the Book of Solomon:
- The Pumpkin Harvest
- I put chipclips on my eyelids and ride a horse of pain.
- This is how I celebrate the change of seasons.
- Leaves fall like dust from pubic tuft.
- But our feet leave wet prints in the morning dew.
- Do it.
- The winds are crisp like a fresh Pringle.
- I put it on my tongue.
- Put your dick there Kyle.
- I'll swallow your nutpuss.
Current literature theoreticians are trying to figure out the endless symbolism of potato chips and potato chip paraphenelia. Chip clips on the eyelids, leaves like Pringles... either the author is fat, or it's some kind of creepy potato chip fetish. Certainly, out of all the foods to bring up in erotic poetry (cherries, whipped cream, Nutella), potato chips rank quite low. Especially not Pringles, which appear to be the factory floor sweepings from a Lay's potato chip factory - no one is quite sure what makes them stiff and crisp-like, but it could be the shellac-like layer of sodium.
If you have wiped that tear of delight off your cheek, you might want to glance over this literary great's next work:
- Neglected Garden
- My pussy is a neglected garden
- Fertile and prime
- it can bear the sweetest harvest
- but it sits untilled
- drive you fingers into my dank soil
- WATCH OUT FOR THE GRUBS (they're like muh babies!)
- lay your seed in me
- we'll grow something beautiful
- I want to walk on the back of your dreams
Any man that would open a Hallmark card from their girlfriend and see this note scribbled inside would immediately have their penis turn from an outie to an innie. The thought of grubs and maggots festering around a lover's cooter leaves you longing for the erotic potato chip prose of Princess' earlier work.
Perhaps most disturbing is the fact she seems to be pleading to have a baby with the person she wrote this poem to. While the offer is difficult to resist, something about having to penetrate the soiled, maggoty premises of this woman's vagina is incompatible with busting a good nut and then waiting for nine months for your paycheck to start getting cut.
Quotes
—Princess, on love. |
Previous Quote | Next Quote