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Brokeback Mountain
Summary
Bareback Mountin' (moar like Heath Ledgers Big Gay Love Fountain amiright?) is widely known as the movie in which Heath Ledger admitted to being a raging faggot. Because of the epic lulz that resulted, a bunch of faggots decided to come after his wood. Many could argue that Big Gay Mountain Orgy was what caused Mr. Ledger to be painkiller pwn'd, and they would be absolutely fucking right. Not days after Bareback Sick Fuck was released to the public, God realized that Heath Ledger had gone astray and therefore needed to be pwnd.
Plot
Here are the main outlines of the plot:
- After World War II ended, two furries start herding sheep.
- Unable to fuck the sheep, they become sexually frustrated and begin to turn.
- They decide to have buttsecks instead.
- As you are a heterosexual male you will not understand how much baw and srs this movie is. At least that's what your girlfriend likes to scream into your ear every time you make a gay joke about it.
- Cowboys don't need condoms.
Reaction
Weightlifting enthusiast Fereck was known to ejaculate 12 times during a screening of Brokeback Mountain that took place behind his local Gold's Gym. He said this broke his previous record of 9 times which was set as a reaction to Home Alone 2.
Origin
Brokeback Mountain is a 134 minute movie by Ang Lee based on a 15-page short story by Annie Proulx (moar like poke annies vagina amiright?), whose stories are of a similar gay magnitude. As a result of the small size of the short story (and Heath Ledger's amazing acting performance), the movie is filled with lots of bullshit filler material. Only four things from the original story remain in the movie:
- Gay Sex
- Cheating on Wives to have Gay Sex
- Jack Twist gets beaten to death with a tire iron and left to die, only for necrophiliacs to have gay sex with him in the sequel.
- Sheep
- ????
- PROFIT!
Jake Gyllenhaal has a very convincing performance wherein he takes it in the ass from Heath Ledger, who lubes Jack Twist up with lots of spit. Heath Ledger also wishes he knew how to quit Jake Gyllenhaal, even though his name is Ennis (moar like anus amiright???).
Brokeback Mountain is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |