Jewbo

A pair of typical greedy Americunt children being groomed by Paedo Claus for a life of material addiction

A bastardization of the word ‘Crimbo’. Although some people use the phrase Crimbo in a positive way, as an affectionate shorthand for Christmas or Xmas, others use it negatively to reflect the shallow materialistic values the 25th of December have come to has always represented. Both expressions are used frequently by sane people and other non-Christians all over the planet who understand that the bible, along with all other religious texts, should go in the fiction section of every library and book store, period.

Likewise, the term ‘Jewbo’ was born out of a cynical need to express even more disdain for what is little more than a giant corporate cash cow, hosted by a fat man in a red suit who was created by a cartoonist and then adopted by the Coca-Cola corporation. It oozes irony on so many levels, as such:

1. Jesus was a Jew
2. Jews crucified Jesus
3. Jews don’t celebrate Christmas
4. 99% of Christians don’t celebrate Christmas, they just buy each other presents, perpetuating the obsession of a material existence through generations of braying little brats.
5. Jews are stereotypically obsessed with both:
   1. Making lots of money (the retailers)
   2. Receiving lots of money (the consumers)
6. Point 5. just shows how Christmas brings out the Jew in everyone

Example

Usually heard around the first week of November in the UK when the adverts on telly become full of baubles and children everywhere start salivating at the mere sight of one’s wallet being removed from its homely pocket.

• Mike: Hey Steve, what you doing for Jewbo this year?
• Steve: As little as poss, my debts are crucifying me.
• Mike: Ouch
• Steve: I know, although my folks said they’d get me a new set of golf clubs.
• Mike: Sweet

Alternative Meanings

• Bingo that is sanctioned by those of Jewish faith; particularly when played in a temple or synagogue.
• A Jewish clown