Animu Archetypes

THIS PAGE WAS RECONSTRUCTED BY AN INCOMPETENT SHITFUCKER. CODE RECONSTRUCTION WANTED.

This is a list of the typical character archetypes in anime. All characters on all the animu fit into one of these. Every single one. How fucking sad eh?

The Whiny Main Character

The Whiny Main Character is just that, a pathetic twat who whines constantly about everything through whatever fruity magical adventure they're on. They only actually do anything if at least 3 other characters are in mortal danger and have spent the last five minutes yelling their name. This archetype was probably meant for nerds to put their faces on so they can think they're the one getting beat-up by the Strong Independent Chick (who always secretly loves them, no matter how much of a fuck-up they are). Nearly every animu has a WMC because Japanese males hate the fact their penises are so small, and they express their impotent rage by projecting themselves onto the character. Most WMCs are of-course male, but can be female, such as in the case of Gunbuster. Other typical characteristics are that they eat more food in one-sitting than all of Africa eats in a year, when faced with a threat they become suddenly "brave", "cocky" and "gallant", is blissfully naive and always enjoys a challenge.

Notable Whiny Characters

(Partially missing section)

Shinji contemplates becoming an hero

Naruto from...y'know... that series... what was it? Battletoads???

Yugi, or at least one of his bi-polar sides.

Ash(right) getting fucked by Garry Oak(left). IT HAPPENED.!!!

Strong Independent Chick

This chick's one and only purpose is usually to bean guys over the head with mallets if they suggest a date or sex with anything for any reason. Fanboys laugh their asses off when this happens, but intelligent people will say "That wasn't funny." This character will most likely fall in love with the main character for some reason, no matter how whiny his voice is. She will always express her love with extra abuse. She'll also prevent The Pervert from getting any tang round here. Nearly all fanservice is of these characters. Not to be confused with the introvert.

Notable Independent Chicks

(Also incomplete.)

Nami from One Piece wearing a two piece!

Sakura from Naruto Who are we kidding what is "INDEPENDENT" ABOUT HER?

Misty from Pokemon. Married a bicycle.

Téa from Yu-Gi-Oh.

Revi from Black Lagoon. (May double as Batshit Insane)

Asuka from Neon Gensis Evangelion who went batshit insane and ended up dying.

Minor Independent Chicks

• Weaboo fangirls (they wish)

The Pervert

This guy will usually steal the panties and/or try to look at girls panties for that oh so needed pantyshot. These characters are meant to portray the average Japanese male. Kawaii ^_________________^.

Groping of breasts is also required of this guy. They get kicked in the nuts by the Strong Independent Chick most often, usually after copping a feel from them. Most characters like this are sniveling man-children who can't even think about a pair of breasts without losing a pint of blood.

Notable Perverts

(Needs restoration.)

Keitaro from Love Hina

Master Roshi from Dragon Ball Z. Has more blood than the Red Cross

Brock from Pokemon. Likely covering up for homosexuality.

Miroku from Inuyasha.

Sakura Kusakabe from Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan. Likely to be violently beaten to death in every episode.

Minor Perverts

• Every adult male in Japan and everyone on 7chan.

Small Annoying Thing

No series of Annie May can get the OK without having one of these little shits around. Superduperextradeluxe KAWAII!!!!1111 and easily marketed, every single one has some kind of plastic crap in its likeness. They usually can't talk, but if they can, they give advice to the WMC or talk exactly like infants. They all have some dumb gimmick like being obsessed with desserts, or burrowing into the digestive tract of the SIC, triggering an ever-popular colonoscope episode. Sometimes these are human, making them more annoying and a little creepy, do to the fact that if they are human, they tend to walk around on all fours at least half of the time and, since they can talk, the creators usually give them painfully high-pitched voices. The Beautiful Airhead is of course drawn to these things.

Notable Annoying Things

(Fuck this, you know.)

Pikachu from Pokemon. Now do you believe radiation is bad?

Chopper from One Piece.

Shinji from Evangelion. Sad but true, a rare double up

Hamtaro, inspires dreams in perverts everywhere.

Minor Annoying Things

• Every Pokemon not mentioned above.
• Mieu the Cheagle, though it is fun to watch him get beat up by Luke.
• The Noid
• Every catgirl EVAR!!1!
• Your penis

Due to laziness, I have not completed this restoration. Here is a link if you want to fill in: http://replay.waybackmachine.org/20090220140330/http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Animu_Archetypes . I might some time next tuesday.