StefanUrquelle1994
Kevin Clay Jr. (StefanUrquelle1994) is a a racist, homophobic Internet forum nuisance who thinks that God wants him to fill actresses Hayden Penetierre, Leelee Sobieski, and Megan Fox with his Holy Spirit. He is also a registered sex offender who molests young children.
Many people believe that these actresses should take out restraining orders against him. To date, none have done so, primarily because none of them know he exists and never will. Some have come to realize that this is entirely an act. Kevin's a homosexual, and being afraid of his own feelings for men, he overcompensates by claiming to lust after famous women, while also constantly condemning homosexuality. In reality, he wants to find a guy with a 12-inch cock and take it up the ass until he cries (as opposed to every other day, when he cries due to his own feelings of inadequacy, or when the truth hits him that he's a poncey git and no one is falling for his shyte).
He will eventually die alone.
This mental-asylum candidate claims his real name is Chris Kevin. He uses multiple IDs, including KevinClayJr, Jonesy29, Jonesy39 and, most recently StefanUrquelle1994, and frequently stages fake arguments with those other personae for the sake of performance art. Kevin pretends to be a crazy, dangerous dickwad, and enjoys when people point it out. He purposely says in 4,000 words what the sane and coherent can say in under a hundred. In the real world, his words and actions would result in the issuance of restraining orders, for fear that he might hurt someone. He also pretends to have an "administrator friend" named Dinobleue, who is entirely fictitious. When other group members' focus begins to shift away from him, he occasionally posts a plea to this non-existent individual, asking him/her to ban whichever individuals he has chosen to portray as his current enemies. No one is fooled by this desperate cry for help.
(Kevin and Jonesy enjoying Kevin's sister.)
Kevin's motif is to pretend to be outraged and angry about everything, purposely use poor grammar and spelling when doing so, and make up facts to support whatever lunatic agenda he is currently purporting. He also purposely chooses the wrong words, creating humorous sentences that don't make much sense. When confronted, Kevin never backs down or admits he has done this; instead, he continues to maintain that what he has said is the truth, even though every other person around him knows that he is talking out his ass.
Who is Kevin Clay Jr.?
Kevin Clay Jr. is a 35-year-old male mental patient who asks people on the global internets if he is destined to marry Leelee Sobieski, Hayden Penetierre, and Megan Fox. He pretends to be a Christian fundamentalist who thinks that gays and lesbians practice witchcraft and will take over the world, and thus often makes homophobic and decidedly un-Christian statements for the sole purpose of riling people up. IMDb legend has it that Kevin sleeps with a knife strapped to his ankle to ward off nymphomaniacs and faggots.
His "Hollywood name" is Chris Kevin and he talks about himself in the third person ("Hey.!!!!!!!!!! Chris Kevin is here...!!!!!!!") His goal is to be less like Steve Urkel and more like Stefan Urquelle so that he can lose his virginity. He describes himself as a "Street Fighter" and claims that he has "a 24-inch bicep muscle Jean-Claude Van Damme style for you with an American Flag on it." Others describe him as a psychotic stalker and a closeted homosexual.
Kevin's hobbies
-
Watching American football. -
Preaching God's word. -
Attempting to remove the stick in his ass. -
Kevin and Jonesy, sitting in a tree. -
Kevin's favorite fiction book. -
Kevin taking the thumping of his Bible too seriously.
Selected quotes
—Kevin, referring to his friend mkoden | ||
—Kevin about being a ladies' man | ||
—Kevin about the Illuminati | ||
—Kevin says I do to Hayden | ||
—Kevin's starlette BananaSplit babe | ||
—Kevin and Hayden in Holy Matrimony | ||
—Kevin is filled with the Holy Spirit | ||
—Kevin about the gay agenda | ||
—Kevin about meeting Maggie Fox | ||
—Kevin talking to Hayden's uncle | ||