John Pike

Lt. John Pike, a.k.a. The Pepper Spray Cop a.k.a. Dr Pepper is a badass policeman who appropriately dealt with a large line of dirty jobless hippies at the Occupy CU Davis in California, by pwning their ugly faces with a nice hot stream of pepper spray. Pike couldn't stand their newfaggotry and bitchy whining, plus the little shits were blocking his way to an ice cream van on the other side of the park, so he did what any God-Loving patriot would do: proceed to whip out his Pepper spray can and cover the irritating nerds in liquidized orange pain for the lulz.

Since the incident, Pike has become a forced meme, and every hipster in the universe has applied their brilliant Photoshop skillz, cuntpasting Pike's chillax lulzy stroll onto every random picture they can find. He also hates fags. Whatta guy.

The captivating true story

U Mad OWS?

Footage of Pike Unleashing Græt Justice on hippie's eyes

IN THE FACE

Faux News Coverage

Faux News understand that this pudgy, mustachioed cop was only truly doing his duty in spraying the little jobless bastards, and expressed in utmost sincerity through political pundit Megyn Kelly that they were clearly just being a bunch of whining pussies.

	“	Pepper spray is like a derivative of real pepper. It's like a food product, essentially	„
	—

.

Of course most other news coverage spoke of this beautiful cop hero as though he is some sort of villain, despite being an astute defender of lulz and our right to walk through a park. Some even insinuated that the unwashed hippies were not explicitly asking for it, which they clearly were, normal citizens need to walk their dog dammit.

Butthurt Anonymous

Among the many people that were butthurt about Johnny-boy's appropriate use of force was anonymous, 13-year-olds everywhere switched on their screechy, lame voice synthesizers, focusing all the nerd rage they could into JewTube videos, stating that the whole situation is srs business and the selective vigilantism did in fact work, because John's dox were thereafter posted.