Hipcrime

Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.

/!\ WARNING: This page is about a known heterosexual. He will fuck your bitches. /!\

Purpling a pony in 2012.

Hooking up with Jeff Stryker in 1986.

File:AlisonBadmachine.jpg

Hooking up with Alison in 2009.

Badmachine aka Celebratedpooper aka hipcrime was a celebrated TOW editor for a 4-year span beginning in 2008, until of course he was actually noticed by staff and in typical Wiki fashion, they banned the fuck out of him. According to his extinct user page, after much homosexuality in the 80s, his resulting incontinence led to an unknown period of change in the 90s. This eventually caused him to embrace his heterosexuality and grow a beard in the 2000s, and in the 2010s, he has taken to spray-painting ponies.

B&

Badmachine came under flak on TOW when he claimed to be an active editor of Encyclopedia Dramatica. This caught the attention of the GNAA who defended Badmachine by sending death threats under his name and hacking his account. After numerous bans, Badmachine ultimately was sodomized beyond belief while he ejaculated into a sock. He was valiantly defended until TOW finally had enough of his crap, and Ironholds banned him because fuck you that's why. He then took his fight to ArbCom which, of course, hastily put his case with all the other legitimate concerns into file 13.

Why Wikipedia doesn't appreciate hipcrime

In a nutshell

	“	You do things deliberately because other people find them offensive, and then pretend you don't know what happened. Drop the bullshit.	„
	—Some asshole on AN/I

Countless times has hipcrime lead holy crusades into the kingdom of TOW, inserting truth, removing vandalism, and defending the lessers of Wikipedia. Although Wikipedia is the alleged "sum of all human knowledge", the majority of Wikipedians have a strong distaste for hipcrime's perfectly sourced information, telling him to "go be insensitive somewhere else". And because hipcrime was actually enjoying his editing on Wikipedia, some humourless cunt named Rklawton told him "we are here to create and edit an encyclopedia. If you lose sight of this fact, you'll find yourself in opposition to those of us who haven't". But they did not stop there, as the Wikipedians went onto whine about the glorious 50 penis post contained on hipcrime's userpage. Although Wikipedia is not censored, they decided it would be best to sperg out about images of the male anatomy on a userpage.

	“	Badmachine, you have already been pointed to the guideline under which additions of sexually provocative content can be reverted. And yet you appear to be dead set on having the image of a penis on your userpage. Please be aware that the next time you try to add one back, I'll fully protect the page indefinitely.	„

Block #1

Moar info: Qwyrxian.

Eventually some power-mad failure named Qwyrxian decided that hipcrime's userpage was a violation of TOW policy because there was no way to prove that his biography on it was legitimate. This reason being pulled out of his ass because of Qwyrxian's constant hipcrime-induced rage at Talk:Lil B (a subject Qwyrxian aka Aaron Hahn knows nothing about). He called a mighty army of meatpuppets to aid him in the block, all of which were later exposed and shut down by gaynigger forces. In a glorious turn of events, hipcrime was unblocked.

Block #2

Moar info: Ironholds.

After embarrassing the WMF to no end, lowly employee Ironholds (Oliver Keyes) decided enough was enough and set out to remove hipcrime once and for all. After blocking him, hipcrime left a reasonable unblock request that was denied by none other than Ironhold's girlfriend. This is seriously how Wikipedia operates.

Unfortunately, the dicks refused to remove the ban, which promoted much GNAA flooding of Wikipedia IRC, to the point that both #wikipedia-en and #wikipedia were kept on +r for extended periods. Once more, Wikipedia has been trolled, and has lost.

lol

[20:22] <+Ironholds> badmachine, I'm not in any kind of relationship with the declining sysop. Shut your pie-hole.
[20:22] <badmachine> lol
[20:22] <+Ironholds> indeed, for the longest of times she wanted to break my neck
[20:23] <badmachine> what a thing for the community liaison to say
[20:23] <+Ironholds> I'm here in a personal role

Deleted userpage

Use scrollbar to see the full image

File:Hipcrime userpage.png

See Also

• Ironholds
• Qwyrxian
• ArbCom
• We love badmachine

External Links

• Badmachine is all that remains of his censored talk (the rest is archived at Wikipedia:User talk:Badmachine/Archive 1)
• His old gallery
• Last edit of userpage on May 2012
• Badmachine on the list of banned losers

Hipcrime is part of a series on ED Government

Executive Command Founder Joseph Evers • Lulz Incarnate Ae-tan • Codified Likeness Utility CLU Theocratic Branch Spiritual Advancement Guru Meepsheep • Brother Hipcrime • Our Dear Leader GloriousReader • Hardchat Royalty Likeicare Judicial Branch Judge Boudica • Drama Detective GirlOnInternet • Arbchat • Internet court Intelligence Division Arctic Research Scientist Caku • Chanfig and Professional Memer CrackRabbit • Kentucky Colonel Fleacollerindustry • Cordial Cyborg Jacket • Kaptein-Commandant Conciërge Tabs • E-Detective and Token Straight Guy Zagan Communications Network Jamaican Ambassador ASSBLONKER • Logistics Expert Scumhook • Maysam • Professor A Fucking Box • Commissar MegaManly • Memetic Warfare Director Chimplord • Real Celebrity Paul Rudd Department of Defense "Old Bone" Kleetus • Catalogue Cleaning Crew Cobaltcat • Gooner Killer NEVER GOON Founding Documents ED:Help • ED:101 • ED:LULZ • ED:OATH

Hipcrime is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Hipcrime is part of a series on Wikipedia Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage.