Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Fukushima

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Uncle Ben's Rice at 05:53, 3 November 2012. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Hey! This article is an Encyclopedia Dramatica exclusive.
This article is only for the discriminating lulz connoisseur.
If you have any exclusive drama to add, click here.


What are the descendants of civilization going to think of our weak pyramids 9000 years from now after 2012 happens?

Back in 2011, an earthquake and tsunami hit Japan and things changed forever. Any well-read EDiot is familiar with the drama associate with the Japan Crisis of 2011. To sum it up, besides effectively screwing Japan as hard as it has been since WWII by Allied forces that took away their hard won colonies, nuked Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and planned to unleash bats onto Tokyo, that was not the only drama to occur that day. At 3:26 pm on March 11th, 2011 a wall of water got into the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant and destroyed Japan's economy forever. In fact this is so bad, Tokyo's soil is contaminated to the level of what would be classified as nuclear waste in the United States. You can imagine the political and economic ramifications of a mass evacuation of the greater Tokyo Area. And that is only the current bad news—as nuclear meltdowns can always go from bad to much worse. For example, a fuel tank in Reactor Unit 4 contains 5000 times the amount of Cesium 137 than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima. One could imagine the environmental ramifications if this were to blow up or get hit by another wall of water.

A group of retired engineers, nuclear experts, construction workers, and other volunteers have formed an organization called Skilled Veterans Corps for Fukushima (SVCF). Their main objective is simple: sacrifice their bodies so younger workers don't have to be exposed to radiation as the SVCF is commissioned to build a giant pyramid tomb to forever contain the mess that is Fukushima Daiichi—no this part isn't satire, this is straight real talk. So far this project has accomplished very little because of a corporate media blackout that is being pushed by International Atomic Energy Association (IAEA) and nuclear energy companies in the United States and Japan that don't want you to know that every time we have a meltdown we have to crank out cannon fodder and billions of dollars to compensate the mess each time. They also don't want you to know that the only way we can even begin to learn about the true costs of nuclear meltdowns is by examining them as they happen—meaning anyone can really be an expert on this issue and all the numbers it includes.

The Man with the plan

This man is one of the leading liquidators will probably die from exposure to radioactive ruins.

Yastel Yamada is a co-founder of the SVCF and he is currently on a series of tours promoting that political pressure needs to be directed towards the Japanese government to send relevant retired specialists and volunteers at the nuclear facility in an attempt to build a giant pyramid tomb before the situation gets any worse. The sarcophagus structure planned for construction in Japan's Fukushima-Daiichi will be much bigger than crumbling giant pyramid tomb already built in Chernobyl that will need an additional 1 billion dollars to make it even bigger.

So what is Yastel Yamada's plan?

Well there really isn't a plan. The reality about nuclear meltdowns is all science knows about how to deal with meltdowns is based on the previous two nuclear meltdowns, but this lack of knowledge isn't going to be a problem. First, since this is a relatively new subject, anyone who can read articles on Wikipedia can be an expert on nuclear science and meltdowns. Second, this field of research is going to have a larger collection of data every 25 years or so as new research locations emerge in which scientists can observe and document this exciting new scientific field. These two advantages will allow scientists to have new research material to educate the populace more about the cost of nuclear meltdowns resulting from violating the most important rule in real-estate: location, location, location.

Data from the last three Nuclear Meltdowns

Anyone can be an expert on Nuclear Meltdowns with knowing the data, even you! Share your nuclear meltdown expertise with your friends!

Three Mile Island

  • The cleanup project lasted from August 1979 - December 1993
  • It had a 1 billion dollar cleanup
  • 140,000 people were evacuated.
  • The construction of nuclear power plants was halted in America.
  • All the nuclear power plants in America are from this generation of technology, which is three generations behind the latest available nuclear technology and power plant design.

Chernobyl

Now they are going to have to put a sarcophagus on top of a sarcophagus to contain the radiation.
  • Chernobyl released 50-80 million Curies
  • 400 times more radiation than Hiroshima
  • 350,000 people displaced
  • Total number of Chernobyl liquidators was 600,000. 50 to 10,000 of these liquidators have died from the job depending on who you ask.
  • The total cost for Chernobyl was 235 billion dollars.
  • A new pyramid tomb needs to be built over the current sarcophagus that will cost an estimated 1 billion dollars.
  • This new pyramid tomb was suppose to be completed in 2005, but they'll get around to beginning construction eventually.

Fukushima

  • The fuel tank in Reactor Unit 4 contains 5000 times the amount of Cesium 137 than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima
  • 400 tons of water enter the facilities every day and must be stored. This water cannot be recycled.
  • Estimated total cost of at least 500 billion dollars so far. These costs don't consider an evacuation of the greater Tokyo area.
  • The economic cost to Japan from the greater Tokyo area being forced to evacuated is unknown.
  • The economic cost to the world economy from the greater Tokyo area being forced to evacuate is unknown.
  • 36% of Children in the Fukushima Prefecture have been diagnosed with Thyroid growths.

Quotes from Experts

   
 

Leaks are still occuring on a regular basis. It flows to the sea every time, no doubt
 


 
 

—Yastel Yamada talking about how these are leaking into the Pacific Ocean

   
 
There is a lot to study and a lot to learn about in general, it takes a long time for the Pacific process to get the pollution to our shores, but it needs to be studied.

 

 
 

Lynda Williams on how the Pacific fishing industry is fucked

   
 
Nuclear meltdowns are forever
 

 
 

—Lynda Williams, expert scientist on nuclear meltdowns


Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

External Links

See Also