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Portal:Politics/Featured Article

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VolunteersForUkraine


While the Russo-Ukrainian conflict drags on with thousands being shot, maimed, burnt and torn to shreds by missiles and drones, the estrogenic soyboys in the west are in the comfort of their homes rewatching their favorite marvel movie for the millionth time while munching on Takis and downing it with soylent. But then, some of them thought it would be an epic and wholesome idea to haul their asses to a country they've never heard of before to push the evil Nazi dictator Hitler Putin and his Army of Darkness back. For fighting for justice and protecting the innocent is a hero's job! JUST LIKE MY MARVEL MOVIEZ SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Dilating to the thought of living their fantasy of being the heroes of a realistic version of their favorite movie adaptation of a young adults novel, the trannies of reddit launched a new subreddit recruiting 'tards from all over the privileged West to aid in the war effort. After all, can you imagine the sweet, sweet dopamine-rush one would get from all the positive karma and Reddit gold you're going to farm? Who in the hecking world can resist?! For those that aren't brave enough to risk their lives for clout however, they have the typical slacktivist routes to exploit; any contribution no matter how small is meaningful. Spetznaz troops would be really demoralized when see they're up against the combined forces of Harry Potter, Spider-Man, Pikachu, Gandalf and Marvel Avengers.

Thanks Ukraine - you can keep them, we don't want them back.

(( "WAR - WHAT IS IT GOOODD FOR??" ))