Brogrammer

Chip Studley, at his office in Redmond

Brogrammers are manly men who make manly code. Windows 98 and all other bitchin' operating systems were all coded by the fat sausage-like fingers of a brogrammer. Why are there no girls on the internet?

1. Women are not smart enough to make code. This is common knowledge.
2. Women are happy to await the return of their baconmaker while happily making sammiches
3. The Bible explicitly states that the sole function of women is to serve the sexual and gastronomic needs of the brogrammer. It's right there in Genesis.

This brings up a reasonable question: why would women want to code? The answer is obvious: They don't, but feminists keep bringing it up, so we here at ED have to make an article on this crap.

Fundamental Character Traits

Brogrammers aren't menly men only, so here are quick tips on how to identify a Brogrammer:

• His desk will be full of Red Bull cans and there will be typical mainstream music playing in his speakers.
• He will usually be dressed with a combination of a Cool Shirt (i.e. one that a hipster wouldn't wear) and a shirt with a drinking joke. Sunglasses will never be missing, not even while working indoors at night.
• Instead of asking you out to have some coffee, like the startup culture of San Francisco dictates, he'll rather go party every night and brag you about it.
• Don't you ever expect him to code well or to understand serious languages, all he'll do is poorly written Ruby in conjunction with Ruby on Rails, because that's "the cool language that cool people know".
• Because San Francisco is where you can find this type of culture, if you need to find a Brogrammer, go to the poorest place in that city and look for startups based there, you'll surely find lots of Brogrammer-only formed ones lacking VCs and money because of their poor products.

Maleness

Gendergap

gb2Facebook, bitch

The measures that men come up with to close the genderfap are laughable. Since women do not want to write code, and are prohibited by scripture from doing so, most chicks are quite happy with their lot as Facebookers.

Yet stories keep appearing about brogrammers in old media, and various sites keep mentioning something called a "gendergap". We all know what this means IRL.

Women? In my Wikipedia??

Wikipedia gendergap, in a nutshell

Wikipedia has taken note that their editors are mostly brogrammers, (all those pix of pimply nerds that grace Commons are their little brothers), and has taken steps to try to get women to edit Wikipedia. Lulz were had when Sarah Stierch, a female Wikipedian, held an "edit-a-thon" at the Smithsonian. Of the few articles created from this venture, all were nominated for deletion, sometimes twice. Most of the articles survived, but only after Stierch had been thoroughly trolled.

See Also

• In the kitchen
• Politically correct
• Wimminz

External Links

• Slate
• New York Times
• Meta