Keep your email private

In November 2013, Microsoft took a bite out of an apple and decided since blow-jobs had been stuck in the ground for some time, that they were to become newest 133t faggots, by constantly reminding the world that anybody using gmail is having their email looked at by some nerds in the google office - which is shit conspiracy theorists have been saying for the past 100 years.

Microsoft decided to use this age-old maxim, and create a bullshit viral advertising campaign, by setting up a 'conspiracy website', originally called 'Keep your email private' which totally isn't advertising outlook, which you can visit here, which they then proceeded to advertise using google ad rev, who dropped them like da bomb after 10 seconds, so they now advertise the Microsoft Conspiracy 8.0 on dailymotion and other sites nobody cares about - just like Microsoft Outlook, which everybody left in 2002 because it was slow as fuck, in the true spirit of Microsoft's company motto: "Inconveniencing the rest of the world".

Of course, selling outlook is much easier than Microsoft's 'viral e-campaign' which smacks of trying too hard - anybody with half a braincell would have taken the easy road - release a video with a pair of retards singing: "My outlook brings all the bois to the yard and they're all like...DUH HUH HUH HUH!"

What the fuck is pig latin?

Microsoft still but hurt that nobody uses C++ since there are zillions of free and vastly more practical coding languages have come up with yet another incomprehensible coding language called Pig Latin. It's the 2.0 of pointless shit - which means hipsters will love it, and is a marketing gimmick to break into the apple market.