Dylan & Cole Sprouse

Dylan and Cole Sprouse are identical twins, former Disneyfags, and now useless nobodies. Recently, Dylan's nudes were leaked, proving that he's a bigger retard than his brother.

Big Daddy

In the movie Big Daddy, the twins take turns playing the role a kid named Julian McGrath who is cute but annoying, Sonny Koufax is his adopted father. The two demonstrate their superior acting skills by pissing on everything in sight while constantly demanding to hear the "The Kangaroo Song." Children, adults and pedophiles all thought that Julian was adorable and the twins became famous. Luckily for them, Pedobear didn't exist in 1999.

Disneyfags

Disney is infamous for dooming child actors to a future of drugs, pornography and post-sexual assault suicide. And to nobody's surprise, the Disney Channel eagerly gave the jailbait clones their own TV show.

The first was The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, it was followed by the so-original sequel The Suite Life On Deck. While the boys gained a following of pre-teens from these shows, most of their fans were older, people who had seen Big Daddy in 1999.

When Dylan and Cole claimed these were "their" shows, Disney showed its bitches the door after they asked for creative control. Dylan cried to the media with his side of the story which they ran with, adding inches to his post-acting, ever-growing e-peen.

It's worth noting that while they were still technically clay molds of each other, distinguishing the two apart was no longer difficult because Disney had transformed Dylan into a young hambeast for chubby-chasing pedos.

Nice career you've got there.... annnnnnd it's gone

After the plug was pulled and The Suite Life was no longer sweet, the two faded into obscurity, existing only in lifelong fan blog form. Not easily discouraged, the twins set out to conquer the internet. Dylan tried selling his artwork online and we know how that went. His brother on the other hand attempted to stay relevant by creating a blog so he could troll his fans. Nobody cared. Everyone assumed that, being former Disneyfags, they were either on drugs or prostituting on the streets of New York.

Pedo prayers get answered

Just when the spotlight had almost completely faded, a miracle happened. A scathing ex-girlfriend (or publicity stunt) leaked Dylan's 21-year-old package to the internets. This was followed by an accusation that Dill Pickle was working as a waiter at a restaurant because he spent all his acting money on drugs and alcohol.

Seeing the possibility at being relevant once again and not wanting his salty ex to have the last laugh, Dill took to the king of media, ~~Howard Stern~~ TMZ. On television he addressed the ludicrous broke bitch accusations while proudly taking ownership of his tiny penis. Not wanting to be foreshadowed by his older brother, Cole tweeted lame jokes about the size of his brother's junk when instead he should have "leaked" his own nudes.

Even though Dylan enjoyed the attention on social media, he grew tired of the relentless "NUDES NOODS N00DZ" on his Instagram. Just as the news subsided, a second batch of nudes were leaked, this time showing him with fresh man juice all over his belly. He refused to admit the n00dz were his and instead claimed they were shooped, even though it's fucking obvious they are of the same guy in the same bathroom from which he claimed previous ownership of.