Brogrammer
Brogrammers are manly men who make manly code. Windows 98 and all other bitchin' operating systems were all coded by the fat sausage-like fingers of a brogrammer. Why are there no girls on the internet?
- Women are not smart enough to make code. This is common knowledge.
- Women are happy to await the return of their baconmaker while happily making sammiches
- The Bible explicitly states that the sole function of women is to serve the sexual and gastronomic needs of the brogrammer. It's right there in Genesis.
This brings up a reasonable question: why would women want to code? The answer is obvious: They don't, but feminists keep bringing it up, so we here at ED have to make an article on this crap.
Fundamental Character Traits
Brogrammers aren't manly men only, so here are quick tips on how to identify a Brogrammer:
- His desk will be full of Red Bull cans and there will be typical mainstream music playing in his speakers.
- He will usually be dressed with a combination of a Cool Shirt (i.e. one that a hipster wouldn't wear) and a shirt with a drinking joke. Sunglasses will never be missing, not even while working indoors at night.
- Instead of asking you out to have some coffee, like the startup culture of San Francisco dictates, he'll rather go party every night and brag you about it.
- Don't you ever expect him to code well or to understand serious languages, all he'll do is poorly written Ruby in conjunction with Ruby on Rails, because that's "the cool language that cool people know".
- Because San Francisco is where you can find this type of culture, if you need to find a Brogrammer, go to the poorest place in that city and look for startups based there, you'll surely find lots of Brogrammer-only formed ones lacking VCs and money because of their poor products.
Wikipedia gendergap
Wikipedia has taken steps to try to get more women to edit Wikipedia. Lulz were had when Sarah Stierch, a female Wikipedian, held an "edit-a-thon" at the Smithsonian. Of the few articles created from this venture, all were nominated for deletion, sometimes twice. Most of the articles survived, but only after Stierch had been thoroughly trolled.
Instead of doing something about its toxic culture, Wikipedia has pretended to entice women to edit using these feeble tactics, without success:
- The Wikipedia Teahouse, since women prefer a social environment to discuss the toxic culture of Wikipedia, instead of individual talkpages
- Visual Editor, since brackets and curly braces are beyond the comprehension of women
- Wikipedia Echo, a new notification system that combines the autism of Wikipedia with the notification system of Facebook
- Adding tons of dicks to Commons, because there's nothing chicks like more than penises attached to old, fat, white Germans
- Flow, nobody is sure what it does, but it's named after menses so it's for women
It should be mentioned that for Ms Stierch's efforts in encouraging women to edit Wikipedia, she was paid so poorly that she took paid editing gigs to make ends meet. Sue Gardner called this a black hat practice, before firing her, and let male Wikipedians gut her autobiography. It remains to this day in tatters on English Wikipedia, anyone who tries to add anything nice about her is automatically reverted.