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Israblog

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Typical user's blog, contained with the regular bullshit attention whores write about

Israblog is a blog portal, based in jewland except that it's a magnet for attention whores, 13 year old boys and 16 year old girls in Hebrew. Because it's in a Jew language it is automatically assumed that everyone there is Jewish, and as such, Israblog reeks of Jewish faggotry and war profiteering.

Because Israblog is only one of its kind (probably because hebrew is such a shitty language only Jews ever bother to study it) (Not true; this faggotry is abundant all over the jewish net), it has become the universal portal for the aforementioned attention whores who, either by choice or stupidity beg for acknowledgment, boost their own by egos by bragging about their number of hits and post pictures of themselves wearing clothes of popular youth cultures that have died out in the US about 9 years ago. All this, but in Hebrew!.

Israblog also helps propagate internet drama by listing completely useless information like common birthdays, newcomers and RSS feeds on its main site. The site even states that the shit written by their attention whores actually belongs to the attention whores and not the Israblog host, a major improvement in Company-User relations since every major company realized their EULAs are crap.

As for the shitty Hebrew language and its rules, pretty much like English, the 13 year old boys and 16 year old girls managed to totally butcher whatever rules the language has, as 1337speak and all variations of netspeak has somehow infiltrated the Jewry of Israblog and took over the Jewish part of the internets.

Naturally, the seriousness of the internet is undisputed, for in Israblog, due to israel's small size, everyone knows everyone IRL, and friends who know each other IRL do indeed whore for attention together, as well as (naturally) add each other to their friends lists. Unfortunately for them, internet drama regarding their precious possessions often seeps into RL drama, making some troll who managed to instigate the drama A+.

Typical Israblog User

Teen Drama Queen AKA "Freak" (פריק)-

Characterized by wearing all black and posting song lyrics and pictures of herself, the Israeli emo girl is a 16 year old girl, pale ashkenazi virgin/slut who wants to convince you she doesn't care about what anyone thinks. She exhibits the same behavior that got her ancestors killed in Germany 70 years ago, and which now lets the popular, non ashkenzi kids beat her up and make fun of her.

Most of her posts are quotes from songs that she thinks are deep, vague nonsense that look like facebook statuses, animated gifs about how sad she is and how much she wants to die, and pictures of herself. The pictures all show her wearing black clothes that are way too hot for the Israeli weather and have not been "cool" even in the uncool sense of the word since being goth stopped being a thing about a decade ago. The aforementioned clothes are all things that she would never dare to wear in a public place unless she is surrounded by her goth friends and knows no one from school is around. So all said clothes are bought only so she can take pictures of herself in them to post on the blog and prove how brave she is, and then quickly remove them before anyone sees her. The clothes are overpriced and acquired with her parents money, who she then thanks by writing blog posts about how they don't understand her and who much she hates them.

All these blogs are in a contrasting dark/primary colors. And all their owners are girls who are either: 90% never seen a penis, or 10% regularly whore themselves out to scene boys in an attempt to prove how unconstrained by society's opinion of them they are (read: get taken advantage of using their massive insecurity by nerdy losers who would never get laid otherwise).


"LOL I AM SO RANDOM" faggot AKA "Spoon Mode" (מצב כפית)-

This breed of posters are either male or female. Both color their blogs in bright eyesores of a color scheme and post 24/7 100% illegible nonsense in an attempt to show how crazy they are. They dress in equally ugly clothes and either act up only online where their actions have no repercussions, or also in school where they are laughed at because no one is fooled by this display into thinking they are cool/confidant.

The girls will sooner or later sleep with some guy who looks hot/has money, because no mater how hard they try to convince themselves that they are somehow different, in reality all women are the same. After that they will spend the rest of the week crying over their lost innocence and false sense of individuality and then go into denial and back to acting like twats. The boys on the other hand will NEVER GET LAID because those "i'm so crazy!" girls that they peruse don't want a skinny, pale loser with no self esteem that acts like a moron for attention, anymore than girls who are actually hot.


Stupid Slut Who Just Found Out How To Use A Computer AKA "Fakatza" (פקצה)-

The enemy of the emo girl. This stupid whore is a NORP who just happened to stumble onto a computer. Since stupid sluts are stupid all over but most of the internet is in English, a lot of them are forced to post on Hebrew sites because they can't read gods true language.

Her blog is a bright pink and covered with sparkle gifs. Once in a while one emo girl (who does not know her IRL) will be brave enough to insult her online. But they never notice and take it as a friendly joke because, unlike the person who posted it, they are not an insecurity ridden geek.

Things You Will Find On Israblog

  • Emos.
  • Attention whores.
  • Red text over black backgrounds.
  • Walls of text.
  • Lists of "likes" and "dislikes", all of which include:

Like: Emos, goths, boys with long hair, bisexual boys, rock music.

Dislike: Arses (the Israeli equivalent of jocks), Prekhas/fakatzas (the Israeli equivalent of popular girls), musica mizrahit (the Israeli equivalent of music the cool kids listen to), people who are intolerant of those who are not like them, hypocrisy.

  • Overwhelming self consciousness (mostly regrading ones own places in the schools popularity hierarchy).
  • Desperate attempts to prove the contrary (both to others and themselves).
  • Zero actual self awareness (or they would notice how pathetic and hypocritical they are).
  • Posts about cutting.
  • Unfulfilled suicide notes.

מפגש ישראבלוג!!!!

Twice a year the dreaded "Israblog Meetup" occurs. On this horrible day, thousands of geeky kikes put on their best black attire and take the train to central Tel-Aviv. Within hours the Azriaeli towers and and Dizingof Center are covered in attention whoring nobodies who sit on the floor, act loud, don't spend money on anything and contemplate jumping off the roof but chickening out. The days activities include: Doing nothing and cowering in fear whenever someone who looks like one of the bullies that beat them up in school walks by and makes eye contact with them (no matter the fact they outnumber them 1000/1).

Often the meetup is intentionally conducted during one of the Israeli Anime-cons at the Yarkon park not far from there. When that happens, the cosplaying faggots and the regular faggots who's clothes just look like costumes mix and the faggotry reaches critical mass.


Gallery Of Ugly Meetup Faggots About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Things you can expect to see at an Israblog meetup:

  • Pale jews.
  • Ugly dykes.
  • Hambeasts.
  • Cute jailbait that loves Yaoi but is afraid of sex.
  • Long hair on men.
  • Black clothes.
  • Spiked bracelets.
  • Knee socks.
  • Buckteeth.
  • Slanted Eyes.
  • Rediculas gloves.
  • Fedoras.
  • Checker print shit.
  • Metal band T-shirts.
  • Fashion victims.
  • Cosplayers.
  • People holding signs and taking pictures.
  • Reasons to pull the United States support of Israel and join the sand nigger side.

NATZA FLATZA

In June 2012 a new troll blog was created called Natza Flatza. The concept of the blog was to troll every israfaggot who dares to argue with Natza Flatza because he is butthurt of her natzi opinions. In one post, Natza admitted that she hates hitler for he is a failure and he didn't manage to kill all the jews. She is superior.

Natza Flatza officially died with her last post called "Games and Fun post", the post resulted in a complete failure because everyone already knew what she is up to, the more comments Natza would get the more popularity she would gain because in israblog when you have a lot of comments you get frontpaged. So unlike the other posts no one dared to comment. There is likely no comeback to come since there are no more sterotypes to pick on for Natza.

Things that natza likes to hate on:

  • Drama Queens
  • Butthurted Faggots
  • Uglyass radioactive israblog-style GFX artists
  • Niggers

Basically, anything that is successful on Israblog, Natza will ruin

See Also