Greenwood Park Mall shooting

STEP THE FUCK OFF! Greenwood Park Mall shooting looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

name is jonathan and today seems like a good day to die

name is jonathan and today seems like a good day to die

name is jonathan and today seems like a good day to die

name is jonathan and today seems like a good day to die

name is jonathan and today seems like a good day to die

name is jonathan and today seems like a good day to die

name is jonathan and today seems like a good day to die

Jonathan Douglas Sapirmann
Nationality:	Americunt
Highscore	Killed 3, injured 2
Top 25?	No, pending adjudication
Style	Single player
An Hero?	PWned by NPC

Fucking Robert Crimo... Payton Gendron... When will these fucking shooters stop? We'll never know! But oh well, it does rack in traffic to our site so that's good :). On July 17, 2022, in de_greenwood, took place a low-scored generic mass-shooting by a generic lowlife 56%. Like the Couch Cuck, the Lanzie, and basically every other shooter, he SHOOTED FUCKING EVERYTHING, but with a twist. He got PWned, not by himself, not by police, but by an ARMED CIVILIAN! That's a nice twist for Republicoons.

The awakening

As this case is fairly recent, for now, this could be updated in the futurah. Here's what we got. The man behind this poorly acted attack is said to be 21 year old Jonathan Douglas Sapirmann. He was a 4channer, a right wing extremist probably, and too scared to show his PC so he burned it. Doesn't that seem FAMILIAR?. From this we don't know much yet sadly. At young age, Johnny boy was left behind with Mama cuz father went to get da milk. I'm pretty sure this guy is another Adam Lanza copycat (2 in a month lol), as we can see on their imgur posts POSTED ON 4CHAN that he tries to do that same stupid Lanza shit. We don't know any of his socials yet, so stay calm edgy YouTube content creators, you're safe for a while ;). Notice how all these recent mall shooters can only get 3 PWns and after that they stop? Well that's stupid. Anyways after that we don't know anything. Here's the link to the 4chan post.

Another mall shooting

An hour prior to the minor lulzfest, Johnny boy went in the mall and sat there in its restrooms, probably shitting his life out before becoming a badazz. After 1 hour and 2 minutes, he came out the shit-infested unclean food court bathroom and went in to do something good for society. He fired 24 rounds of ammunition from his Sig Sauer rifle, killing 3 people and injuring 2 in a matter of seconds. Sadly, this bright start would come to a quick end when some hillbilly armed woman called Elisjsha Dicken who did a 360 no scope on Jonathan and ended it all in 2 seconds of bullet travel and brain death. She called the cops and told dem pigz what happened. The Johnson County Coroner has identified the deceased victims as 56-year-old Pedro Pineda, 37-year-old Rivera de Pineda, and 30-year-old Victor Gomez, all from Indianapolis.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item	Accessories/Bonus
Primary: SIG Sauer M400 semi-automatic rifle	Several magazines for da lulz. 5.56.
Primary: M&P 5.56 caliber-rifle	Another rifle.
Secondary: Glock 33	Nothing special. Popular Glock
Perk 1: Stopping Power	Increases bullet damage to rape the enemies.

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count:	3/20 Meh
Accuracy:	14/20 Took everyone but 2
Style:	5/20 FUCKING GENERIC
Butthurt:	2/20 No one cares it's kinda common nowadays
Bonus:	10/20 Republicoon joy!
Total score: 34/100 (E+)

nawt gud See full ranking

Police action

Wanted Level:
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#SWATteam