Annie K

This page has potential but it needs a lot of work. It could benefit from trolling and shit. Discuss edits that might add to the lulz on this article's talk page.

Annie K, more recently known as Ellie Jaycock (which may or may not be her real name), is a 17-year-old girl with apparent 32K sized breasts. Some sources place her in New England, USA, but others (using the name Ellie) have claimed that she is British and lives in the UK. Under the name Ellie Jaycock her pictures, and even a supposed interview, been featured in the Huffington Post (twice) and the Daily Mail. Upon discovering the ongoing debate (see below) over whether Annie K / Ellie Jaycock and her boobs are actually real or whether it's all a hoax, the HP decided to add a qualifier to its articles saying that the Daily Mail article didn't provide any concrete evidence of Annie's actual existence.

Apparently some time back in late 2007 or 2008, Annie K suddenly appeared out of nowhere with huge boobs seeking attention and bragging about how she fucks 5 guys a day because of her tits. Since then she's gained an annoying cult of stalkers that follow behind her leaving a trail of cum [1], and on the other side an anti-cult that hates her and dismiss her boobs as a stuffed bra [2].

Real/Fake Debate

Every 9001 seconds, usually on youtube comment spaces or here [3], her stalker cult fans and everyone else get into fights over whether or not her tits are fake. Part of the fundamental problem is that she's never posted a picture of her chest completely bare (a topless shot from the waist up) or a picture of herself naked, which would presumably settle the debate (and make for many happy orgasms worldwide in the process, presumably).

Arguments include:

From the "OMG SHES FAKE STUFFED BOOBZ KILL HER"

She has never taken a topless photo, meaning her boobs have never been completely exposed and naked for the camera with nipples included; this ensures that if they are fake, no one has the ability to be the wiser, because they are always covered in some way (typically in tight tops with bra underneath).
Her boobs never jiggle or move, even when falling from a balcony.
She moves as though the tits have no weight to them, you'd think someone that large would have enough weight to sink the Titanic.
Cleavage is hardly ever shown. If any there is little.
She bitches and moans about privacy and then posts a shitload of new fapping material in the public.
Shes a total bitch.
TITS OR GTFO!
There are no girls on the internet So the boobs are fake and she is a dude.

From the "SHES REAL, FUCK YOU FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP" side

She wears a super strength bra sent to her from the future.
Her spine is made of a cross between Titanium and Superman's pubic hair.
She goes out in public like that.
Other women (such as Agnetis Miracle) are similar in size.
The more fap material posted the merrier!
fapfapfap
FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP!

The rest of humanity attempted to argue but couldn't find the time to give a flying fuck...

Life

Since her breasts suck all the blood from her brain she is incredibly stupid, posting information, videos and pictures of herself all over the internet; plus talking about the millions of STDs she has gotten from sex. All of this is of course to get attention and then she goes whining about how everyone invades her privacy. Her friends outside the internet hate her and, oblivious to Annie, just use her for the lulz and sex.

How to Get Lulz

Annie K will only accept fansites or people she has met IRL on her myspace, so make a fake Annie K fansite or claim you met her somewhere around Amherst like some place in Nashua one night (google it) and you're in. Happy trolling.

Example message to enter when adding Annie to your Myspace:

"Hey, so you're that girl I talked to at (insert name of concert, mall etc here that's around her area) the other day! damn you were flirty..."

If you have something better, THEN USE IT!