Planet Fitness

Planet Fitness is a gym which caters to old people, pussies, and women. They pride themselves on being a "judgment free zone," yet they judge others who don't adhere to their Nazi-esque policies. Any time anyone other than the aforementioned joins the gym (ie a normal person who actually plans on building their muscles and using the weights properly), they are labeled a "lunk," harassed by an air raid siren, and kicked out.

Most members of Planet Shitness are either too broke or too intimidated to sign up for a real gym. For only 10 dollars a month, you can have a membership at the weakest gym out there. For 20 dollars a month you can purchase a Black Card membership, which means you have access to the tanning and massage rooms. There are no basketball courts or pools inside of these gyms, just purple-colored machines and a room full of people improperly using them.

The most popular visitors include fat people exercising by jumping on and off of a box, old people taking up all the machines by slowly lifting 10 pounds at a time, and dads dragging their sons along because they want to teach them to be real men instead of playing them damn vidya games. Terrible music plays overhead, and the owners and trainers counterproductively offer Tootsie Rolls to everyone as a means to reward a healthy workout. They also have pizza night on Mondays, which totally isn't full of greasy fat or anything.

The Lunk Alarm

One of the most notable features of Planet Fitness is the "Lunk Alarm," a loud as fuck tornado siren that sounds when people do things like dropping weights or grunting. Because what better way to stop noise than with more noise, right? Naturally, people think it's lulzy to troll the lunk alarm by being as loud and obnoxious as possible inside Planet Fitness.

Lunk Alarm Pranks

In March 2015 Prank Call Nation and other prank callers called Planet Fitness' non-stop for a few weeks. They spoofed their caller ID so they appeared to be calling from the Corporate Office. They then gave some stupid reason why the lunk alarm need to be used (usually because the marketing department wasn't able to get a signal from it). They then said that it needed to be used for at least 30 seconds causing all kinds of chaos. Customers bitched as well as the employees. In some cases the lunk alarms broke before "the tests" were completed. Due to the amount of calls the corporate office sent out a memo telling the employes not to take calls from them anymore.