Greyson Chance

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Totally not gay.

Greyson Michael Chance was a 12-year-old sixth-grader from Oklahoma who in 2010 become the latest wet dream of 12-year-old girls everywhere, boasting the homosexual sex appeal of his counterpart Justin Bieber.

Much like Justin Bieber, Chance's rise to fame came with a 240p YouTube video, which became viral a few weeks after being uploaded thanks to Reddit and a little Web 2.0 magic. Unlike Justin Bieber, he doesn't sound like Minnie Mouse on helium.

It is speculated that Chance might actually be a genetic clone of Justin Bieber, created by the same eugenicists responsible for the engineering of teenage singing sensation Justin Bieber. He actually is a Chinese Knock-0ff

Another rumor is that Justin Bieber has Weegee's powers, and once stared at Greyson Chance long enough to turn him into Justin Bieber.

Early life

Greyson Chance grew up in the hicksville town of Edmond, Oklahoma. Throughout his childhood he was taught the ideals of the Christian lifestyle, but rejected those beliefs after realizing he was gay. Greyson was a victim of furries and major butt hurt. It was only later that Gayson realized his homo voice would wet panties everywhere.

Attempted rise to fame

On 28 April 2010, Chance uploaded a video to YouTube, purportedly captured by a home video camera, of him performing a rendition of Lady GaGa's hit song "Paparazzi." Due to Chance's shit voice (LUUL someone's hurting) and the low quality of the video, however, his attempt at Internet stardom appeared to massively fail, for his video gained no more than a few hundred views in two weeks. Now where is Tay Zonday's fame? Oh yeah, teh 12 year old stole it from him.

Just when it looked like the world didn't want another shitty pre-teen singer singing songs about girls and love, the mainstream media intervened, thrusting Chance into the international spotlight.

"Rise" to fame

Several weeks after the video sat justifiably unnoticed on JewTube, the video somehow made it to the desk of talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres, who decided that one poor quality home video is enough to make a 12-year-old boy fit to appear on national television.

The real story

Greyson Chance's rise to Internet stardom can be linked to a single Reddit post [1] created on 10 May 2010, when Reddit user icedev posted the YouTube video to Reddit with the title "Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" + 13 year old boy = Awesome." At the time of the submission, the YouTube video had only 517 hits.

As Reddit users flocked to spam the link all over the Internet, a new viral horror would be unleashed into an unsuspecting world still recovering from Bieber Fever.

Three hours after the video was posted to Reddit, the first tweets began to appear, spreading the video across a platform filled with teenage girls. Six hours later, he was Dugg.

In 24 hours, Chance's YouTube video soared from 517 views to 118,541 views, and attracted the attention of Ellen DeGeneres, who signed him to a record deal days later. By that time, the video had reached 21,000,000 views. Ellen being a fag, took Gayson in and began putting this high pitched, chinese knock-off of Justin Bieber on her show.

On 28 May 2010, Greyson Chance re-appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, where Ellen announced that she was using her years of expertise in the music industry to start her own record label, and recruited Greyson Chance as her first client. Of course Ellen DeGeneres is not a Jew and her only experience in the music industry comes from her brief three month gig as a judge on American Idol, so it is doubtful Chance will be going anywhere.

External links

• YouTube - Greyson Chance Singing Paparazzi
• The Reddit thread
• An article breaking down exactly how Greyson Chance became an Internet "superstar."
• Why an Ellen DeGeneres record label? And why now? Allow Ellen to explain

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