Chapel of Resonance
Yet another offshoot of the Castlevania Dungeon, it was created by a nigger who thought the Castlevania Dungeon didn't stroke his massive e-penis enough. Though said nigger often posted pictures of himself without a shirt in hopes his giant muscles would somehow offset his deformed face, the majority of replies were usually about how fucktarded he looked. His ego butthurt, he set off to gain his revenge by making yet another shitty Castlevania site to pollute the internet.
Since it's such a small, shitty site supported by its members' massive egos, there are few notables, mostly the site's staff.
The nigger's niggers
- The Successor- The founder of the site who believes he's leading a fucking Castlevania social movement to overthrow the internet or something. Nobody can tell exactly what he is, but most assume he's Halfrican. A body builder, he loves to show off his nude pictures to his overwhelmingly male forum. Also moderates when suffering from 'roid rage. Has the sense of humor of a nursing home.
- Alis Landale - Sixteen-year-old girl who is the site's moderator. She is well known for posting like The Successor, liking the same stuff as The Successor, posting only when The Successor does, and claiming to be two stock photos of two different girls. Obviously isn't The Successor. The members still treat her as if she was a sex-crazed whore, and believe that talking about the finer points of Castlevania will somehow get an underage girl to show them her tits. Supposedly has "internet sex" with The Successor, which is just to say that The Successor masturbates to his two stock photos.
- SenileSnake - Some Nazi from Doucheland who has the personality of a turd. Does Flash and nothing else.
- Bloodreign - Also at the Chapel. Still gobbles as much cock as before.
- beingthehero - More like being AN HERO amirite? Was let onto the Staff after reminding The Successor how good his fellatio was, even though he has yet to do anything of real value. He's also a double faggot for being a lawyer-in-training, or at least claiming to be.
- Peklo - A grotesque man-child who crawled from Norway to a computer and has stalked the Chapel ever since. Known only for his furious desire to anally rape most of the Castlevania series' bare-chested men, but is totally not gay. Given how The Successor is a bare chested man and Peklo was made a staff member on the spot, it's not hard to see how one becomes a staff member there.
- Serio - The site's troll, who is also a staff member. He loves anime, hentai, and purportedly types with chopsticks. Ends every post with "unyuu~." Despite this, he denies he's a weeaboo and points out how he hates japan and doesn't watch anime nearly as much as he used to.
Update: Not a staff member anymore. All that trolling finally paid off.
- Darkmanethewerewolf - A staff member who uploads videos. Her blatlant furry Deviantart personality would almost be condemnable if she didn't immediatly go back to the kitchen once she uploads the videos. Good girl.
- The Reverend Uzo - Christfag who preaches the morals of God's love one day, and will slam his cock on your shitty sprite edits the next. Even though he's been banned several times, every Easter he rolls back his ban and ascends into heaven.
- Nightmare - Sand nigger who lives in Iran. Has several Castlevania-themed Death to America signatures. Infatuated with cocks, which isn't a problem, since there are no homosexuals in Iran. Purported to be Mahmoud Ahmadinejad himself trolling Castlevania fans.
- Tiamat - Fat kid who claims to be in his mid-twenties, but his pictures show him to be about twelve. Thinks that singing while playing Castlevania is comedy genius, and constantly reminds everyone he's having the Furfag Deviantart upload is his videos. Believes he has a fanbase consisting of people feeling sorry for a fat kid who thinks he's funny.
- Marto - Faggot who faps to anything Ayami Kojima and hates Simon Belmont for being an actual man and not a pretty boy faggot like Alucard. Aspires to be the next Castlevania artist.
- Nagumo - 16 year-old feminazi from the Netherlands. Often starts topics that are the same as Alis'. Self-proclaimed Chapel Maid.
- Diplo - A self-proclaimed 'writer' who was hired by The Successor to his dirty work of anything related to shitty review articles. Is responsible for the monstrosity of a header on The Anti-Chapel.
- Gizmonicgamer - Actual fag who starts page-long arguments because, like every other weeaboo on the Chapel, can't accept other people's opinions, and will proceed to act like a communist until the other person is proven wrong.
- Conn-Kun :3 - A weeaboo fag and douchebag.
- Thernz - Another weeaboo.
- Alec Morris - A Twilight-loving whore who is claimed to have to owned Dash_Jr. from the Gamefags Incident.
- Raven - Douchebag who claims that hating what's popular is what other people do to try and act 'different', but completely ignores the fact that fapping over Alucard is what the 'cool' kids do. Staff member.
The above is bullshit nobody cares about. Seriously.
Life and Lulz at the Chapel of Resonance
If there is one thing that sets apart this sad knock-off of the Castlevania Dungeon and ICVD from every other crappy offshoot, it is the love of drama each member seems to be obsessed with. Through the valiant efforts of dedicated Castlevania fans and trolls, the Chapel of Resonance forum has turned into a battlefield where butthurt and drama rules the day. The combination of troll threads and crying fanboys ensures that hilarity always ensues. Here are but a few instances:
The RPGamer incident
The egoistical faggots at the Chapel of Resonance love to insult other peoples' reviews, but bitch on a colossal scale when it happens to them. The internet had a merry chortle when the Chapel of Resonance clashed with a site beloved of virgin basement-dwellers, RPGamer. RPGamer called Castlevania: Symphony of the Night too hard and boring and that licking a goat's ass is underrated. When the fanbrats at the Chapel caught wind of this, they proceeded to lick many a goat's ass. It was agreed upon that it was underrated. But when they read about RPGamer's scorn of the Castlevania game, the gloves were off. They did the unthinkable- they made a thread to insult the review. When RPGamer heard this, they were infuriated. And they responded with an even harder attack- they made a thread that counter-insults the Chapel of Resonance.
Like two disabled kids ramming each other with their wheelchairs, the clash between the two douchebag owned and operated websites soon became the laughingstock of the internet. The last laugh belonged to RPGamer, who managed to pressure the Chapel's transvestite administrator into conceding defeat after threatening to do some "mysterious thing." Rather than face RPGamer's angry mother, The Successor quickly made an apology thread and promised to behave. It is unknown if RPGamer's mother called Successor's and was sent to his room anyways.
The Great Gamefaqs Jihad
The Chapel of Resonance is well-known for loving what average Castlevania fans hate and hating what normal Castlevania fans love. Both groups love emo cock either way. When the Chapel released a review calling two Castlevania games utter shit, Gamefaqs was in an uproar. Dozens of obese, pimply-faced mujahadeen pledged to bomb the Chapel by trolling it any way they could. Leading the way was Dash_Jr, desert nigger and wop. Polluting the threads with dozens of demoralizing attacks, Chapel loyalists were cowed. But then Alis Landale, who is not Successor, beat Dash back into oblivion. The Chapel's fans soon recovered, and managed to quadruple their pretentiousness. As anybody on the internets know, however, a single fallen warrior is merely replaced with two more. Joining the crusade against the Chapel was GamerTai. Gamefags were pleased with their new champion; GamerTai had managed to single-handedly pwn the entire Castlevania Judgment board at Gamefaqs, and was eager to join the battle. Alis Landale was swarmed with GamerTai threads, who managed to invade each subforum and throughly wipe out all activity. Promising that the terrorists would not win, Alis again was forced to beat back the Gamefaqs insurgency. Yet again another holy warrior soon arrived. A regular from Gamefaqs' Portrait of Ruin board dubbed himself Stratusdodge and swore to succeed against the infidels where the others had fallen. Stratusfag recognized that simply flooding the forum would not provide lasting lulz. Most of the faggots on the Chapel posted asinine topics about their favorite Castlevania characters' shoes/hair/peckers, which already made them a mockery on the Dungeon's various channels. Stratusdodge proved to the Gamefags that the easiest way to troll the thirteen-year-old boys on the Chapel was to encourage conversation. Soon, the Chapel fags began to trip over themselves to make even faggier threads. The Jihad had accomplished its goals; the Chapel was falling fast.
Kupomogli bites the dust
When the new Castlevania game was released, the Chapel's citizens dutifully came buckets and talked about how they were gay for it and all that shit. Despite spending the better part of the entire year talking about how the game would bite ass and how they were going to burn their entire collections because of it, they immediately began to viciously defend their new game from horrible things like valid criticism. Not having any of this hypocrisy was a troll called Kupomogli. Long banished from the ICVD for stalking Jorge D. Fuentes, Kupomogli began to lurk at the Chapel of Resonance by day and spy through Jorge's bedroom window by night. But hearing that the new Castlevania game was good was the last straw. He started a thread and called out every single fucking person on that forum for being a cockmongler and a told Alis that she was a bitch, needed to get back into the kitchen, and to feed him breakfast while sitting on his face. Successor was shocked at first and was beginning to feed him breakfast when he suddenly found his balls. He tried to reason with Kupo; Kupo was not having any of that shit. Successor then offered him the spare keys to Jorge's house; Kupo was then suddenly more docile. So much that he fell for the trap- Kupo was soon wtfbanned and left to wander Jorge's backyard. Sources say he has since been arrested for stealing Jorge's underwear at night.
Fall Of The Reverend Uzo
Like the cancer that is killing /b/, there is also a brand of newfaggotry that has come to be identified with the Chapel of Resonance- the cancer killing kasselvania. It was not all hopeless; the spirit of W.T. Snacks was channeled by The Chapel's last hope, The Reverend Uzo. Most forums take a Darwinian view on members. Newfags are naturally weeded out through being insulted and ostracized until only the strongest remain. The good reverend aided this process by ensuring that newfags would stop polluting the fan works subforum by deriding their shitty Deviantart artwork, deriding their totally fucking serious deathcore metal set to cheesy Castlevania music, and flaming the kids that would show their highly advanced spriting skills which consisted of cheaply re-coloring some other sprite. Needless to say the fan works was the only forum that had not succumbed to being drowned in the watery shit that was the Chapel's fanbase.
But then two challengers appears. Accepting that Uzo had stopped their faggotry from spreading after Gamefaqs' crusade, they soon began to bitch and moan to Alis to do something. Dracula9 was a kid who couldn't make sprites or really do anything to save his life other than post Invader Zim stuff. Alec was just a bitch. When Uzo was finally confronted, he delivered an empowering sermon on the mount that was the General Discussion saying that they were faggots, and only a shitty forum full of faggots would ban him. And banned he was, and the repercussions were felt far and wide. The Chapel's last defense against newfaggotry was halted. Soon the utter stupidity of the fan base swarmed the forums, and began to spread out to others. Agents of the Chapel began to arrive at the Castlevania Dungeon. The Chapel of Resonance, once an annoying (but thanks to Gamefaqs, fading) zit on the face of the Castlevania fanbase soon warped into a giant wart.
Jorge D. Fuentes promises to combat the Chapel's newfaggotry and does so
Or he would, if he wasn't writing how the Nintendo DS was the next Super Nintendo, stopped the gringos from deporting his family back to the barrio, saved his business, and fake-remixed video game music.
See Also
- Castlevania
- ICVD - The manchildren that page talks about threw a hissy fit when this article was on their page and vandalized it to no end, trying to relieve their butthurt.
External Links
- Chapel of Resonance
- Chapel Staff - So that you can witness the faggots yourself.
- Marto's DA - Be sure to tell him how Simon is moar manly than Alufag.
Castlevania Corner- If you're in a need to give Redrum a blowjob, head there.Castlevania Dungeon Forums- Another forum made by a bunch of fat fucks for underage fucktards.
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