Apostrophe

The Apostrophe, also known as the IQ Test, God's Revenge, and many other names, is the root of every problem known to man. It is well known that Adolf Hitler was not fond of Apostrophes, and that he eventually killed himself over them.

History

Some fucking frenchman thought it would be funny to introduce a terrible Grammatical Convention that would fuck over idiots on 4chan in the 16th century. From there, the British decided it would be funny to take it into their own hands, and it was unleashed upon the population. It is still used today.

Normal Usage

An apostrophe is used when an internet user thinks it should be used. For example, lets say the user wants to write "The dog jumps over the moon". Upon further reflection, they notice that "jumps" would look nicer with an apostrophe. The sentence becomes "The dog jump's over the moon". As can be seen, this makes for a much neater looking sentence. In 95.69% of cases, as shown by researchers at Cambridge University, people will use the apostrophe at their own discretion, without regard to proper grammatical rules.

Correct Usage

The apostrophe is actually used to denote a users opinion on a certain topic. People often mistake this for using one anywhere they please. Apostrophes can only be used in the following situations:

1. Political debates, also known as Why the fuck is this political?.

2. Online articles, as some people think that they can be fancy with their knowledge.

3. Intelligence contests, but fuck them. This is the interwebs