Final Fantasy Disease

Final Fantasy Disease is a symptom of assburgers fuckery and nerd derived bitter vindictive hobby hoarding which gets the bipolar multi personality disorder apeshit fuckin' stupid ends of the Final Fantasy fandom as stupid as they are. Since forever, it's been a major disease of the internets that's festered longer than even centipedes in vaginas and tiny penile insecurity dysfunction, and it’s pretty fucking serious business because one of the big dicks at the top of Square Enix has properly diagnosed this shithead sickness that’s worse than even what kind of AIDS and bath salts people are choking out on the streets with for crack. Oh, and we aren't fucking around with you too. Mentioning this topic earns some serious mad hate in many circles of the smarmy pedant end of Final Fantasy fanbases, and it exposes the infected as the fucktards they are.

FFD? In My Vagina? It’s more likely than you think

Final Fantasy Disease is a disease characterized by a sense of self entitlement and asshole dumbfuckery where one believes that Final Fantasy isn't "Final Fantasy" enough and proceeds to bitch, whine, belittle, bemoan, and become so fatheaded with Unwarranted Self Importance that they begin to become so deluded and so lost in their insane fuckery that they lose any semblance of being a human being. Instead of realizing to actually “be creative” and do something in the magical realm of IRL these brain dead zombies of consumerist piggies deserve everyday squealing down on the slaughterhouse conveyor line like the crony capitalist culturally conditioned spermfruit of meat vegetables they are. FFD is characterized by:

• Immense oldfaggotry
• An extreme love for Final Fantasy VI
• Screaming about how Square Enix isn't as good as it was before and that they suck forever until they get a full 3D FFVI HD remake
• An extremely limited definition of fantasy, limited to only imagery of the shit covered days of Dark Ages Europe
• Increasingly bitter jadedness
• Extreme cynicism of anything, along with an extreme doubting inquisitiveness marked with the questions of "Why?"
• Internal screaming due to real life and societal conditioning to be an all submissive cocksucking faggot
• Cases of Internet Tough Guy retardation
• The use of the internet, and plaguing comments sections, forums, and IRCs related to video games motivated by last chance grabs for a sense of entitlement, power, and feeling any sort of worth by abusing a hobby and taking it out on impressionable 10 year olds which will also infect them with their bullshit
• An increasingly fucked up bipolar scale of self-worth that rapidly roller coasters between hubris and self-resentment as to communicate one’s life is a joke because one feels the truth of that Final Fantasy has pretty boys who look better than them, and react in the fashion that “those gay boys must be replaced with those who will impress the locals” because the truth remains that no Grorious Nipponesse or even the locals in their right mind would ever fuck a do nothing fucktard pasty ass fuckboy, and that they are pussyfoot weakass losers who suck dicks and take it up the ass from whoever gives them shit
• Extremely Questionable Logic on the Fan In Denial spectrum
• Over 9000 levels of hating the Japanese nation to the point they might as well start up a new KKK for lynching AZNs
• Having pictures of Yoshitaka Amano and his work and fapping extremely hard every night and morning to it
• Owning weapons solely to take out on self made effigies of Tetsuya Nomura
• Owning a blow up doll with a picture of Sakaguchi Hironobu’s face on it to fuck and beat up every night
  • Irrational rage at the sight of zippers, belts, and fashion related anything
• Denial of aforementioned symptoms, especially if they are infectees

Notable infectees

• The Spoony One – A brave vocal outlet who claimed himself as “The Guy Who Represents Real Gamers”, and valiantly raised his voice against FFVIII and FFX…. Only for reality to hit that he is nothing but a whiny, lazy, unoriginal, crazy, fucking annoying, fucking shithead psychoass dickless embarrassing shitstain of an excuse of a human being. He is also famous for a very vocal fanbase who are very much like himself, and saw his fall from stardom because that incident involved him revealing on Twitter that he likes playing serial rapist by chaining women in his basement before carving fuckholes into them and doing it all night with their bodies.
• The Rise and Fall of Final Fantasy and the Crew of Socksmakepeoplesexy.net – Some bitter salty edgy fucktard ex-goth in denial and his lesbian dyke with SJW problem hair who started a website dedicated to making an internet club about how video games make your dick bigger if you act like a fucking manchild retard. The ex-goth in denial goes by the name of Pat, and he once loved Marilyn Manson, Invader Zim, and Final Fantasy, before a trip to Japan thanks to a JET program saw him get cockteased by a cute Japanese girl and turned him gung ho for AMERICA FUCK YEAR because he became bitter at his weeaboo phase like the jade glasses wearing ball of black and precocious anal retentive hard burn out of a loser he is. The Rise and Fall of Final Fantasy is his little showcase of how much of a fucktarded manchild he is by whining word by word about how FF didn’t get his dick sucked and how much it needs to suck his dick because of how much of a vindictive edgelord of a bully victim faggot he is. Has an IRC where his fuckbuddies perform ceremonial cyber orgies in honor of him.
• Final Fantasy Wiki – Shitbag infectees? In my Wiki? It’s more likely than you think. This hivemind of ADHD cockmunching pedantic rejects have long festered at FFWiki since its conception in 2004, and aside from that, we have informants that tell us that a core cabal of infectees have long run this place on the IRC. Not only has this place had a history of driving away dozens of people with their FFD AIDS, but when FFD made headlines, this place denied this faster than Jared Fogiles and fucking children. Unfortunately for them, Wikia is more loose than the staff’s moms, and they are so fucking stupid that even a fucking moron can dig through it like an archeologist looking for dinosaur shit. In short, FFWiki loves to practice agendas, suck dicks, create shrines to FFVI, and are so concerned with face value of being FF fans that if it came to a copy of FFVI over a baby in front of a moving train, they’d leave the baby and take the video game. Hey don’t blame us, blame them. They need a cure. Fucking zombies.
• Zac Bertschy – A particular article of him on Answerman had him value the art of FFIX like the Precious Memories line of figures your mother collects while going on about how FF in general doesn’t make him look cool because of how ladykilling the guys are in the games. TL;DR total nostalgia ridden ugly ball of rotten zit ridden skin, stunted pube like stubble, grease, and black tar like shit.
• You

Cure? Placebo? Who knows!

We here at ED have only quacks and loads of malpractice specialists, so we can only say get fucked. No, seriously, get fucked. There’s good ol’ Skyrim and Elder Scrolls and Game of Thrones and whatever derivative of Lord of the Rings to go through. Go kill yourselves or something. Fuck off.

Sauce

Gamesradar- FFXV Director explains how FFD impacted development