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Cascade Mall Massacre
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BREAKING NEWS!! The shooter is still at large!!!1 |
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|---|---|
| Samuelito Hydalgo | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| Highscore | Killed 5, injured ? |
| Top 25? | Not even close |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | Sadly, no |
After pulling of several other mass shootings and getting away with it, Sam Hyde is back again to attempt to reach the High Score. Stationed in Seattle, Washington, Sam has tried to recreate Robert Hawkins' 2007 chimpout in which he killed 8. Sadly, Sam only managed 5 frags, but was able to escape the mall and is currently on the loose - again. It is believed the media, government, and police are covering this up so Sam can escape. They do this because Sam is an agent of the Gun Lobby and Military Industrial Complex; after any Mass Shooting, firearms sales absolutely skyrocket, bringing in big bucks for these businesses. If you see anyone looking like Sam Hyde, it is recommended that you conduct a citizen's arrest at once, even by gunpoint if need be. Bring this madman to justice!
Gallery
Shootout
Armed with a rifle (presumably a generic mass shooting gun like an AR) (Hunting Rifle), Sam infiltrated a Mall in the Seattle area, and found a Macy's. He was targeting feminist cunts this time, hence why 4 of the deceased victims were women. Sadly, a man was murdered by accident - Marc Lepine's demon's control of Sam's mind wasn't strong enough to stop Sam's homicidal destruction from raeping everyone in sight. Immediately after shooting up the store, the entire mall went into panic mode; gunshots can be as loud as a lightning strike, especially if you're indoors. Sam's wanted level was elevated to level 3, calling the FBI and ATF in to hunt him down.
Escape
—State Patrol spokesman, Mark Francis - Don't be a faggot! Don't Snitch! | ||
Somehow, Sam Hyde was able to sneak out of the mall - Hitman style. He is believed to be at large currently; may Allah carve his path to safety! He's described as a skinny-fat build, with golden hair, black clothing, and is believed to be in his late 20s to mid 30s.
High Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 5/20 |
| Accuracy: | 15/20 |
| Style: | 12/20 Generic |
| Butthurt: | 12/20 Mass Shootings happen every 3 seconds. Nobody cares. |
| Bonus: | 15/20 Escaping the Mall, surviving 3 star level for more than 6 minutes |
| Total score: 59/100 (F+) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
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Vice Squad
