Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Wikichan/Adventures of the Brewsky Loli

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search

Adventures of the Brewski Loli was a wikichan article about a story written on /b/.

Contents

The following took place in /b/ shortly after the Fortune script came into effect. Anonymous started writing the following incestuous story, but grew tired after three posts and admitted to have made shit up. "I just wanted to incorporate the fortunes into a quick story and make the content something that /b/ would actually read."

But being the incestuous perverts we are, another heroic Anonymous started continuing and at last finished the story. And then there was fapping.

The Story

You guys will never believe what happened.

Two days ago, I sat down to /b/ and noticed that everyone was doing this "fortune" thing, so naturally, being the sheep that I am, I wanted to join in. I posted a post asking what the secret was to posting fortunes, and after being told countless times to murk loar, I finally discovered the secret. So, in an attempt to get 4chan to read my future, I posted a post asking whether or not I would get laid this weekend.

"Your fortune: Better not tell you now"

I had my lols, knew the truth and continued lurking. Shortly afterwards, my mom called me downstairs for dinner, and we were having meat loaf and she makes the best fucking meat loaf in town. So I ran downstairs in a hurry.

Well, as I was running down the hallway, I couldn't help but notice that my sister's door was wide open, and she was looking at porn on her computer. It sounds weird, I know, but actually her computer faces the far side as the door, and when she doesn't close it all the way the breeze from the open windows in the house pushes it slowly open. My guess is that since it just started getting hot outside, my mom started opening the windows again, and my sister wasn't used to it. Well, I couldn't help but stare for a while, not because of incestuous desires or anything, but because I wanted to make fun of my little sister for masturbating, just like she did to me three years prior when her and my dad walked in on my in the guest bedroom. I started slowly walking up to her, as quietly as I could... I didn't know what I was going to say or do, but I assumed it would be hilarious. Well, just as I was about 3 feet away, she pressed one of the arrow keys to move to the next picture in her folder, and the computer switched to a picture of ME. In bed, sleeping. Fairly recently, I imagine, because I had dyed my hair black two weeks ago, and sure enough, it was black in the photo.

I figured she would just say "oh, goddammit" to herself or something, and hit the back button, or find a way to get back to her porn, but as you can imagine, I was completely surprised when she just kept going. Still in shock at seeing this side of my sister, and turned around and walked out of the room, making no effort to be quiet this time, but I think she was only partially made aware of my presence when just after leaving the room and walking down the hallway I muttered "Jesus Christ..."

Upon entering the kitchen, my mother said "Go get Nicole, tell her dinner's ready". I couldn't help but giggle and become insanely uncomfortable at the thought of walking back to her room. Luckily, she must have heard me earlier, because he walked in the kitchen shortly after my mother's request, her face still slightly red. Naturally, we ate dinner and didn't say a word. But damn was that some good meat loaf. I chased it with some applesauce and corona, to which my mother said "I wish you wouldn't drink that stuff so much, you might become an alcoholic like Uncle Matthew". "Mom, I have about one each time you make a good meal, which is about once a month now. I know it's weird for you to see me drink, but I'm not your little baby any more. I'm all grown up, and if I can go die to kill terrorists in Iraq, I think I can knock back a brewsky or two."

I finished my applesauce and headed up to my room to get back on /b/ and found myself doing the exact same thing I had been doing for the past 4 hours, only this time slightly more buzzed than before, because I didn't tell my mother about the Jack I had in my minifridge. I'll tell her eventually. After lurking a bit more, someone asked for the picture of the mountain dew can and the sandwich, and so I delivered. What I did was use the "back" button to get back to the thread, and when I reposted the picture, I had accidentally reposted my old post with the question and the fortune in it.

"Your fortune: Excellent Luck".

I'd get laid this weekend. Right. By who, my sister? I laughed out loud and kept browsing.

I awoke the next morning with my parents gone. I left my room kind of groggy and slightly hung over from the "brewsky" and jack I had. I started towards my bathroom to shower for the day and my sister meet me halfway there. She looked kind of red in the face and started to speak but her voice broke. She seemed so nervous. "I-... well... So, last night..." I was getting more and more uncomfortable. Was my sister coming on to me?

"So last night... did you happen to see anything? Like the web page I was looking at?" (HA web page my ass). "Look I don't know what you are getting at here but I'm willing to just let it all go and forget all about this if you do too." "Well that's the thing. I'm not embarrassed so much as I am... curious." At this point I was heavily freaked out. My sister had always seemed like the shy, innocent, quiet type. I would never have had her pegged as a sexual deviant, let alone one with incestuous tendencies!

I figured "well, it's early enough in the morning. I have nothing else going on. No one else is home. What harm would a conversation do?" So I looked up at her with my slightly red eyes and said, "Okay... what do you want to know?" "Well," her voice slightly cracked, "You remember when you were still going out with Chrissy? I- I'm sure you didn’t notice but I could hear when you guys were having sex. Our rooms aren't that far away you know... Well... I would always hear those noises she would make. At first it made me very uncomfortable and I would get kind of uneasy, but then it would make me have these dreams... well... ya know. And... I just always wanted to feel the way you made her feel..." Okay here I was thinking she was going to be asking something more common. Was my 12 year old sister actually propositioning me for sex?

"W-What?" I said incredulously. "Well," she said, "Mom and dad won’t be home until late tonight. I mean you won’t get in trouble or anything. I just want to know. I've been thinking about this for a long time and I really want to do it. If I did it with you I don’t think I’d let it be something I’d regret." "No, no, Nicole (everyone's little sister is named Nicole) we can't do that. It's so wrong on so many levels. Now let’s just go back to our rooms and just let this thing die and not talk about it again." She looked kind of rejected. Like she had just asked her boyfriend to marry her and he replies with "there's another woman". I must admit though the idea of it all did arouse me, even if just... a little... (continuing)

I went back into my room. She was still standing where she was while we were talking, crestfallen. I got on /b/ and I could hear her slowly go back into her room. I thought, "Jesus, what the hell kind of a weekend is this? I'm going to need a drink." So I went to my mini-fridge. Luckily I was out of "BREWSKYS" but I had plenty of Jack to get me about 4 sheets to the wind with some change. So I started hitting it. My keystrokes on /b/ started to fumble, the words didn’t all seem to be as solid as they should be, and the ideas that my sister had planted in my brain seemed to be getting more and more prevalent. Being a /b/tard the line "delicious flat chest" kept ringing in my mind's ear, over and over...

Eventually my sobriety had passed the point of being able to surf the intranets. I went and lied down on my bed. By this time I had more than enough influence from /b/ and the alcohol to fuel even the wildest fantasies of mine. I started to justify my thoughts. "Well... no one would find out. Well... it would be fun for me". I finally just decided "fuck it" and I went into her room. I opened the door very suddenly and it kind of startled her. She was sitting in the corner of her room in the fetal position. When I opened the door her head shot up very quickly and I could see that she had been crying. I said to her, "Okay, so I'm thinking I’ve (hic) reconsidered," a smile rushed over her face and her eyes widened, "but you CAN NOT tell Mom and Dad about this, okay?" "OKAY!! I'll do anything!" (that's what I wanted to hear)

I walked over to her and leaned over, extending my hand to help her up. She stood straight up in front of me, almost like a military stance. This young girl ready for action, prepared to take orders. There was a slight pause and I realized I had to take the lead. I had never been with a woman without experience before. I said "So how far do you want to go" "All the way, everything I want to do everything with you!" "Okay, take your clothes off." She was shocked for a moment, her face turned slightly red. I think she was expecting me to ease more into it.

I took a step back and watched her peel off her clothes. She was wearing this tight light blue shirt that perfectly hugged her slim torso. She wore nothing underneath. She had a delicious flat chest. Well not entirely flat, budding. Next item to go were her pants. She was wearing playful hello kitty Pj's. She pulled them down quickly along with her underwear and stepped out of them. Here was my little sister standing a foot away from me entirely nude.

I took her hand and walked over to her bed. I sat down and unzipped my pants. I was surprised by the fact that I was already hard. I took my cock out and she just stared at it for a good minute or so. I was flattered, really I was. Then a thought had occurred that it was the first one she had seen. It didn’t matter though. I put my hand on top of her head to get her to bend down. She got on her knees and started to take off very quickly, licking it wildly and amateurish with her hands on my knees.

I told her "No, no, you have to calm down, go slower" I took her hands and put one at the base of my penis and the other on the shaft. I felt so massive that a girl was holding me with two hands and there was still a good amount of me visible. I held her head and motioned her to slowly lick the head, and then finally bringing me into her mouth. her mouth was so soft, it felt almost like air. It was so pure and... and tiny, I could barely fit in. Again she started to get faster, too fast, she was so anxious. I slowed her down again and motioned her hand to rub my cock as she brought her head up

She got me close, I mean really close, really fast. I was surprised, especially because I had been drinking. maybe I was just nervous? I don’t know, but I stopped her. She looked at me and said, "What's wrong? Did I do anything wrong" There was a pause. It was almost as I had to regain consciousness. I had to remember that her voice was saying things I needed to respond to, "... Oh... no. That was perfect, just... I didn’t want to cum just yet, we still have a lot to do. I mean, you want to do everything right?" "Right!!" I stood up, fully erect. I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down. I wasn’t wearing any underwear. I stood her up and brought her over to the bed. I motioned her to lie down on her back with her legs hanging over the edge...

I knelt down in front of her legs and spread them apart. Her vagina was perfect. Now, I’ve been on /b/ so I know what I’m talking about. Even for a loli this was exceptional. Perfect cute vertical smile. I sat there admiring this perfect pussy and I noticed how wet it was getting. It started to glisten in the florescent light from her loli-juice. I leaned in and stuck out my tongue and ran it up the length of her pussy. The moment I did that I could feel her squirm on the bed. I had never gotten such a good reaction so quickly, I felt so manly. And her taste, my god it actually tasted so sweet! I actually wanted more. So I went in...

I drove my face right into her pussy. I stuck my tongue in as far as it could go. She was so small that it felt like I could reach the back of her. I could hear her moan, softly. I saw her bring her hand up and bite on her finger. I brought my head up a little bit and started to suck on her clit. Now she was moving a bit moar wildly. I started to suck it and rub it with my tongue faster and she moaned louder and louder. Eventually she yelled "I'm gonna cummmm..." She brought herself up very quickly and coddled my head, trying to pull it deeper into her, as I finished her off. It felt like a rush of loli juice came pouring into my mouth, and my god was it delicious!

She was breathing very heavily at this point and just let herself drop quickly onto her back once moar. That got my heart racing too, I tried to suppress my breath from quickening. I didn’t want her to think I was getting tired. "Are you ready for more?" "Oh... I... god yes!" I motioned her to lie entirely on her bed and I came up on top of her. (Good thing I had that BREWSKY last night, I thought) I spread her legs apart and assumed the missionary position. Her pussy was so wet already. It was almost begging for my cock. I licked my hand and wiped it on my hard dick so it'd go in more easily. Now let me tell you, she was so fucking tight. I had to struggle to get it in. I could see she felt a little bit of pain as I inserted it deeper and deeper inside of her, but I knew she was enjoying it.

I started to thrust slowly, very very slowly. It was so tight I was afraid that I was going to break her. Her eyes squinted and she clenched with the painful ecstasy. When she did she got even tighter, like her pussy was trying to squeeze the cum out of me. I let out a quick moan when she did. I couldn’t help it, it just felt so damn good! She realized what she had just done, and she smiled, and did it again. She clenched her entire body and it squeezed my dick so hard as I was thrusting into her. It felt so good like I was going to cum right there!

I started to get faster. It was like we were both in a competition to stun the other with sexual pleasure. She would tighten her body and I would thrust harder, faster, and deeper. We got faster and faster until I could hear her scream. It was the same kind of reaction I had gotten out of her when I was eating her out only this time it was much more... violent. She arched her back and moaned loudly. I could feel her pussy get so fucking wet. so wet in fact, that I could feel my balls getting wet as they slapped against her.

I started thrusting as hard as I could at this point. it felt like she could take anything. I got so violent with her but she just kept screaming for more. Her bed was banging against the wall and I was shaking her so much that her sheets were entirely messed up. Finally there was a final squeeze, one last thrust, and one massive moan. In that moment, it was as if time had stopped. I could almost feel every single sperm cell charging out of my cock. There was a stampede, a massive rush of my cum into her vagina. I swear this was the most massive orgasm I had ever had, I felt like I was filling her up all the way. After a moment or so I was done and I just let myself fall onto her, still inside of her. Both of us breathing very heavily. "That... was.... amazing!!!" I just looked at her and smiled and just let my head fall down onto her delicious flat chest.

After a few moments of recovery I finally decided it was time to get up. I pulled myself out of her and I noticed there was a small pool of semen and juices just below her vagoo. I smiled and told her, "Okay, I helped you out... you have to clean up the mess" "That’s fine **smile** Only if we can do it again sometime?" "Maybe (YES!!!!)" I got out of the bed and almost collapsed. I felt so weak and exhausted but I did my best not to let her see. Some middle schooler wiped me out? No damnit! I'm a man (who drinks BREWSKYS)!! I put on my pants and left the room. She started to clean up the mess on the bed with tissues. To her surprise I came rushing into the room once more and exclaimed "WHOOPS FORGOT MY HAT!!"

THE END!!!!

Original Poster's Comments

I have never taken any writing class nor written anything ever. In fact I didn't even intend on this being any longer than one post originally. Nor do I have an incest fetish OR enjoy meat loaf. I just wanted to incorporate the fortunes into a quick story and make the content something that /b/ would actually read. And then I found that in order for it to make sense, it would need more information and as my word count grew, I lost more and more interest.

If you MUST know, living with the parents was supposed to be an excuse to be living with the sister, and the part about being in the army and lamely calling the corona a brewsky (I would call few beers brewskies, and a corona is not among them) was to covertly let people know that my character was between the ages of 18 and 25, so that when I revealed that the sister was in middle school it would give more lols, and quite probably more faps.

Second Writer's Comment

Okay I hope you guys all enjoyed that. Just to let you know I don’t really like Loli all that much. The entire time I wrote it I was imagining a 16-17 year old but it's /b/ so... ya know. Anyway I need to haul ass to my bio class that I am now unprepared for thanks to this crap! Happy Fapping!

Source