Ryan (fleshlight)

Ryan, whose real name is Ryan Scott Schroeder (pronounced "Shrader"), was born January 30, 1978 and worked for a brief period of time at Fleshlight where he got his fifteen minutes of internet fame from the kiddie porn folks of 4chan. He is currently unemployed and selling Magic: The Gathering cards as a means of paying rent. In the spirit of his love of free advertising, please look for and buy some of his cards on ebay.

Yes, this is really him. Always nice to put a face to an old internet meme.

That gigantic wet spot is female ejaculate according to the photographer/ejaculator. Anyone else pop a boner?

Since obtaining his fifteen minutes of internet fame through 4chan, Ryan has since joined the horde and has become a fellow /b/tardian. He thoroughly enjoys his bit of internet fame and tries to use it to get laid. One woman must admit, sometimes that works. Guys, really, don't try it just for the pick-up lines. Ryan, the reluctant leader of Ryantology, appreciated that you /b/tards kept his long nights at the Fleshlight interesting. You folks really made him accidentally the whole thing.

	“	Never before have I met a man who made me feel like I accidentally the whole thing.	„
	— /b/tardian.

Original ED page text: Ryan is the reluctant leader of the Church of Ryantology. He began his days as a chat operator on fleshlight.com but has since proved himself worthy of leadership with his witty responses. One cannot tell of his awesomeness so I shall refrain from doing so.

Facts

He really like eggs

• Ryan like eggs.
• Ryan likes ice cream sandwiches.
• Ryan eats pickles for breakfast.
• Ryan likes when you advertise for free.
• He owns several of his own Fleshlights.
• Free advertising to him is like oral sex to normal people.
• He really likes oral sex too.
• Ryan is a conspiracy theorist (9/11 Inside Job, JFK murdered by CIA, etc.)
• Ryan is a Cardinals fan.
• Ryan is an adherent to the Philosophy of Patrice O'Neal (or, so he claims).
• Ryan is surprisingly good at bowling... just like The Dude. But, he doesn't abide.

A case of Troll's Remorse?

crooked dick

New information has come to light that this article was heavily contributed to by an ex-lover of Ryan. She appears to be suffering from Troll's Remorse. Pleas were submitted via IRC to have the noodz removed from this page on the grounds of it being detrimental to Ryan's current and future employment attempts. Some kind soul on IRC agreed to help the supplicant, known as anonanonanon (clever, rite?) in exhange for tit pix. This same kind soul went through all of the effort (battling numerous ED admins with threats of b& looming) to remove the picture of Ryan and obtain the tits, only to find that anonanonanon was a lying bitch who refused to deliver her end of the bargain.

Numerous attempts were made during the course of the discussion to discover just what Ryan had done to this femanon to deserve having a picture of him laying on a bed near what appears to be a large piss stain (PROTIP: it's "female ejaculate.") However, said femanon refused to be forthcumming with further information. When pressed, she said, "I don't *really* care that much." Sorry Ryan, you should have never let this chick jizz all over you.

“   <anonanonanon> what are the terms? <gretchen> tits and a sign that says <3 ED <anonanonanon> sure   „     —The deal     “   <anonanonanon> Wow... calling me a "stupid cunt" isn't going to get you what you want, at all.   „     —But it helps...     “   <anonanonanon> I'll give you tit pics if those face pics were really taken down - gladly.   „     —Then she failed to deliver Previous Quote | Next Quote

Seeing as how the promised tits were never delivered, the picture is now back up.

See Also

• Fleshlight
• Troll's Remorse
• Stupid