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Thanks, America.

ATTENTION!

The subject of this article is a lolcow, and is currently ripe for milking.

You can help by trolling the shit out of them whenever you see them, then laughing at their lulz-inducing theatrics.

Warning these people are currently hot and bothered and you should be very scared of their retribution

Oak And Cauldron is a really fucking shitty failed business ran by a group of right wing meth head lunatics out of Eugene, Oregon. The LLC was created in May of 2020 and was disbanded in January of this year because they were too poor to upkeep the domain. The company on it's own is very uninteresting and uneventful. On a surface level it appears to be a beauty product brand based on skin care. Aka it's a disgusting snake oil brand created by actual faggots meant to steal your money away from you while providing you with next to no substance. Now you may be thinking, who in the flying fuck cares about this dogshit brand created by someone's 70 year old aunt Jeanine? Well it has more relation to this website then you think. Before I get into it's ties to this website let's go ahead and go over who the owners are and what makes them notable on their own. Warning you may want to kill yourself after reading this dogshit article so brace your ass. And no this is not a hate article, I and many others at this point feel this is a topic worth laughing at. Hopefully the subjects will anhero very shortly after its release.

Don't get us wrong we aren't a fan of CrackedRack either. He too can take a double barrel shotgun and kill himself with it. Preferably on camera so his 10 year old audience sees it and is traumatized.

Valerie Smith

The beauty herself, looking like Jason from friday the 13th part 1.

Aw yes nothing says honor like carving the assassins creed logo into your own gravestone outside your trailer

Valerie Lissette Smith is a 39 year old "woman" (She may be a tranny we aren't particularly sure) who is the figurehead of Oak And Cauldron. At first glance she appears to be a middle aged women who is highly stressed and tired as well as low income and depressed. She runs several social media pages, all of which save for the Facebook page are inactive. The reason? Well because social media is evil of course, unlike the highly superior Valerie.

Nothing wrong with this

According to the brand social media pages with hundreds of followers ran by Valerie, she is a very condescending, delusional and mentally disturbed individual. She frequently discusses topics such as priests raping children, how much she hates Israel and the jews, genuinely laughing at buildings exploding and political extremism and she also makes subtle jabs at topics such as committing suicide and committing crimes and doing hard drugs in the past. As well as some animal abuse even. Sometimes she even says fuck it and throws all business savvy out the window so that she can share her favorite pastime with you, cooking drugs in what appears to either be an incredibly tiny apartment or some kind of dim mobile home while children are known for a fact to be around them.

A very simple search on Google shows that Valerie is a convicted criminal who has 2 DUI's and an institution visit to her name. A majority of the internet slapfights she starts with others alongside her supporters are started by her. Usually by her expressing an aggressive and loudmouthed opinion about random bullshit on various facebook pages until several others quickly see what's happening and call her out for her bullshit. Violent internet retardation almost always ensues and gets highly aggressive. Usually resulting in review bombings from actual fucking jews who are pissed off at her or people who are unfortunate enough to come across her.

According to many internet archive websites, this behavior has been repeating in a cycle for quite a long time. However none of this is really relevant to why she has an article now, though we'll get into that.

Glen Smith

An actual picture of Glen Smith on his actual business page that is public and also shared with his children.

Glen Smith is the equally strange 40 year old spouse of Valerie Smith. Very little is known about him though he appears to be the spearhead of a lot of gay-ops online. He has several forums and websites where he spends all day screaming at people, threatening them and banning absolutely anyone who comments anything that isn't in 100% agreement with what they say. These forums which are usually hosted on sites like Reddit and Blogspot are promptly shut down for violating terms of service. Like Valerie his appearance is also highly unusual. Consisting of numerous disgusting tattoos coating his entire body as if he was a bathroom stall at a middle school as well as a disgusting 4 foot long beard that he ties into knots. Which effectively makes it look like a piece of human shit is flying off of his face. He also had a weird blog called Oak and Cauldron that was brought to attention by CrackedRack that showcases him admitting to hearing voices in his head and talking to what he believes are gods. While also expressing beliefs in an ability to stop mass shootings through meditation.

Like his spouse Glen appears to be a very hostile and insecure person. Constantly flaunting online his epic past of getting into fights and having sex with many chicks. Obviously this being a delusional fantasy projected onto hundreds of people online to see due to him having a few issues. He is known for peacocking his gun around and acting tough and acting as if he can do shit to anybody. Even though in reality he's a scared niglet baby with no self esteem so he bullies random people online all day (With his face attached for some reason as well as business name).

Now that you have somewhat of a clear picture here, lets discuss why these retards are relevant.

CrackedRack

Valerie Smith and Glen Smith claim to be the direct relatives of now terminated infamous Youtuber and music artist CrackedRack. Who if you remember (You don't) was notable on websites such as KiwiFarms and Encyclopedia Dramatica for creating content relating to lolcows. You can probably see where this is going. Valerie being the direct sibling of CrackedRack, and Glen being his Brother In Law. According to CrackedRack around November of last year Valerie started harassing him and making allegations that he was raped by his own mother. CrackedRack himself or someone who sounds like him appears to discuss this in a recorded phone call that he didn't seem to know was recording. This being the only "evidence" of this happening, however the evidence posted is very flimsy and suspicious at best and downright malicious and heavily edited at worst. All we know is that some rumor has surfaced regarding CrackedRack being touched as a child by someone. And for whatever reason Valerie decided that because CrackedRack, an adult who can make his own decisions doesn't want to talk about it that he is also a pedophile. Which resulted in a series of heavily documented and absolutely ridiculous events that resulted in this catching our attention.

4chan's discovery

Shortly after this incident took place, either Valerie or her husband Glen started a Subreddit about CrackedRack (Like all worthless losers with no power in the real world do). The Subreddit is known as /r/CrackedRack and it is one of the weirdest subreddits on the entire platform.

We see this upon entry:

Aw yes seems like a sane thing a sane person would create and do

It very poorly claims to be some kind of justice website to seek justice on a mentally disturbed individual. At the start of the Subreddit however it immediately contradicts it's original purpose by discussing vanity metrics such as CrackedRack's viewcounts and subscriber counts for some reason. Which is made even more pathetic by the fact that said channel was already dead by that point.

Bizarre

This is about as far as you'll get talking to someone as mentally retarded as this

Then the subreddit devolves into bizarre insults aimed at CrackedRack. Such as leaking embarassing things he did as a small child that only she would know about as she was his eldest sister. CrackedRack is 20 or 21 years old and Valerie is known to be 39 which makes her 18 or 19 years older then him. Making this all the more bizarre and depraved. Valerie even seeming to go as far as to reach out to childhood friends of CrackedRack so that they could comment about the situation. Even going as far as to dox their own family members on the site.

Now one could just brush this off as usual trailer trash family drama from idiots. However it gets even weirder. The poster (Glen) changes his tune constantly throughout the subreddit. Some posts are downright hostile:

Whereas others are showcasing fake concern:

But then they'll do a complete 180 and suddenly start complimenting CrackedRack unironically:

To according to a subreddit even sending CrackedRack or someone claiming to be him sexual messages of a condescending nature:

Well that's fucking weird

All in all very disturbing creepy obsessive stalker behavior that would concern anybody in their right mind.

Very shortly after this website was created it caught the attention of several users on 4chan, particularly the /b/ board. People were highly confused as to what the purpose of this subreddit was, and what kind of deranged faggot would behave this way towards their family member especially one who is a Youtuber. Seeing as CrackedRack himself had been responding to a lot of the allegations levied his way on the subreddit and that LordBumpis (Glen) was responding extremely hostilely to every message, other users started flocking to the sub in droves to imitate CrackedRack and press Glen's buttons. What resulted was a shitfest that lasted for months of users flaming and "fighting" LordBumpis. In reality they were simply criticizing him, which would result in being branded a CrackedRack alt, or result in you being banned all together. Or Glen would throw a tantrum and start bragging about the drugs he does and the girls he has had sex with. Though once in a blue moon, threatened with physical harm. This harassment leveled at CrackedRack and anyone commenting on the board escalated to CrackedRack receiving unwanted things at his home including a tattoo machine. Unfortunately Glen, Val or anyone associated with them deleted a host of unrecoverable posts that showcase the violent threats and generally illegal antics they originally showcased aimed at CrackedRack.

There is a video that was originally deleted by Youtube for hate speech that has been archived on a random channel describing the situation in full:

CrackedRack describing the situation in full.

After all was said and done, things got intense. According to multiple documentations and sources, this situation escalated to the FBI visiting CrackedRack at his home. Shortly after this incident, Oak And Cauldron filed for resignation. While the Subreddit was an embarrassing waste of time for seemingly all parties involved, we did learn a lot of information about these potential cows, as well as CrackedRack due to the amount of personal information everybody involved willingly gave out.

Valerie and Glen were disowned from either one or both sets of parents due to their behavior.
Oak And Cauldron was only paid for by said parents they were disowned from
They do this all the time and this behavior is normal and has only just been discovered by a niche group of people now.
They are currently doing this to the biological father of one of their children.
CrackedRack is not allowed to see his niece (Glen and Val's children) as a result of this conflict.
Glen Smith may or may not have been involved in organized white supremacy before
Glen, Val and potentially CrackedRack all likely have a personality disorder
Glen and Val attempt to get Darvocet as well as other types of medications from hospitals to get high. Once this doesn't work they go on huge rants about how evil Christianity is on Facebook.
Conflict is incredibly common with Glen and Val as they cannot even go to their childrens school without starting a protest or conflict regarding religion.
Valerie is alleged by CrackedRack or someone claiming to be him to have mishandled his aunts ashes, either losing them or abusing them.
Valerie has severe heart issues and tooth decay issues, while Glen has severe kidney issues.
Glen alleges (More then likely falsely) to have been a victim of the Thurston School Shooting. Likely for sympathy points.
Glen alleges that he has sold out concerts before larger then huge bands as a singer, though no documentation of this exists anywhere.
Valerie and Glen have a past, or at least a tangible history of drug abuse. With CrackedRack alleging meth abuse, and Glen admitting various drug abuses himself.
CrackedRack alleges Valerie bragged about Glen being in a neo-nazi gang and even burning down either a Christian or Jewish church establishment.
They are vexatious litigants
Valerie is an absolute fucking weirdo who since CrackedRack was a small child bullied and trolled him. With Valerie's trolling plans obviously working because she is a lifetime older then him.

Bringing up any of these things will result in very violent harassment and threats sent your way regardless of who you are.

Users on /b/ eventually started for a few days straight celebrating how upset Glen would get at the slightest mishap, him believing full well CrackedRack was responsible for all of it. All it would take was one single comment to get paragraphs of rage and verbal abuse thrown your way. Anybody who questioned this behavior at all was branded a "Mathew alt" instantly and banned. For some reason the Subreddit stayed up for nearly half a year before finally getting somewhat banned. The subreddit is still up, though a lot of the trolling has been wiped from it and all that's left are incomprehensible posts about nonsense. Following this string of fights, Valerie and Glen were doxxed on Doxbin as well. Revealing further crimes and misdoing. As well as the fact that they live in a very small trailer that can't be any larger then a Walmart bathroom. Making the discussion of having a more successful business then CrackedRack very laughable.

Oak And Cauldron

Oak And Cauldron itself is not popular and never will be. It's a retarded and cringe boomer idea that has been done to death and has nothing unique to offer. The only reason absolutely anybody has ever discussed this brand is to make fun of the owners who are known lolcows in various Facebook circles. It used to have a website containing it's products but that has been completely wiped (More then likely due to a lack of financial support). The products themselves are packaged very nicely though the pros end there. The products themselves all universally look like a human shit fresh from a baby's ass. Some of the products are monstrous and grotesque and outright vomit inducing to look at. Very few units of Oak and Cauldron have ever been sold, with most theorizing maybe 40 products have been sold at the very most. And if you were to look at the Google reviews for the company, you can see reviews from people who are direct relatives to her in her arrest report praising her product.

This is a verified relative of Valerie

Not a relative but according to her facebook friends list, this is somebody she knows very well.

What an actual review of Oak and Cauldron looks like

The usual response to absolutely anything Oak and Cauldron posts

Oak and Cauldron itself has abhorrent PR and after scrounging the entire internet for information we've determined that there is not a single legitimate positive thing that has ever been said about this company. All reviews are either completely fake or created by relatives. The real consensus on the brand is that it is a brand run by 2 lolcows who should be very heavily known and observed, as their behaviors are ongoing and never seem to stop or simmer down whatsoever. No matter how many obvious social consequences come for them or even their children. She even continues to this day to leave fake reviews and rage messages on businesses particularly ones CrackedRack is associated with.

An actual product of theres displayed on their page, I see this must be the poo poo cleanser.

Another product of there's, YIKES! Someone call a hazmat team.

This is probably the least arrogant post from this company.

Ok. Can I just get my disgusting skin products now please?

Why Valerie and Glen are good lolcows

They have gigantic ego's and genuinely believe they are rich badass motherfuckers. Even though they live in extreme poverty and have no support socially or financially at all. As well as no successes to their name or even property (Similar to Ethan Ralph). They will brag about money.

They frequently pull lolcow antics involving leaking all of their personal information and their dirty laundry to hundreds of people online constantly.

They are highly mentally unstable

They believe they are victims and that there are kabals of pedophiles out there that need to be taken down (Preferably by them)

They constantly express anti religious beliefs condescendingly and harass anybody online who disagrees with them

Their products are laughably awful and disgusting, as if KingcobraJFS and Cyraxx teamed up and started making skin care products. Not to mention they are rather expensive for what you get.

They are 40 years of age or potentially older if they aren't lying and they are obsessed with lolcows, lolcow culture and Cyraxx.

Glen himself acts like Cyraxx and even has similar tantrums and mannerisms.

They cannot let anything go and must be correct in all situations and will harass you to the ends of the earth if you disagree with them.

They are very envious of anyone who has anything better then them and it is very clear with every message they send.

They are highly defensive and delusional, similar to fellow cow Patrick S. Tomlinson.

They look like serial killers in a meth fueled trailer park and are legitimately toothless yet discuss being models on social media.

They are basically real life incarnations of King Of The Hill characters portraying mentally deficient hippies.

They are so deep into the rabbithole and trenches of narcissism and delusion that they do not understand that there is something wrong with them and that other people see them as disturbing and gross. They believe that only CrackedRack himself or people who are "working" with him as they state would criticize them, when they have highly public web forums documenting their antics for hundreds of people to see. They will fight absolutely anybody and encourage you to fight them.

They are vexatious litigants that will threaten legal action to anyone or anything that even remotely upsets them or makes them uncomfortable.

They are heavy into feminist ukranian faggotry

They are already seemingly very entrenched into lolcow culture, with them referencing and discussing lolcows heavily on their social media's.

They beg people to turn them into lolcows and think it's a cute social status that will bring them attention

Overall, these are cows that should be observed. If you wanna piss them off, you can. Quite easily. They will probably think CrackedRack was masterminding their downfall into cowdom the entire time and start harassing him as per usual. If you wanna piss them off, it's simple:

Make fun of their atrocious skin care products

Call Glen's wife an ugly bitch

Challenge Glen to a fight

Make fun of the fact neither of them have teeth

Laugh at their health deformities

Laugh at Glen for being a tiny cocked neo nazi cuck whos just jealous of all that big black juicy cock that penetrates his wife every night.

Compare Valerie to her brother in terms of success

Make fun of the fact that they shouldn't have custody of their children

Make fun of the fact they spend their money on meth and have none for food probably

Add Glen Smith on Facebook pretending to be the his wife's ex lover Levi Forst (Who famously says I forst a fart) then confront him about his daughters custody. Be aggressive.

Updates

In usual delete fucking everything fashion Valerie Smith deleted several facebook posts harassing another person off of her page coincidentally only a day after this ED page went up. Said posts were just incessant bitching about her ex husband/boyfriend (?) who is allegedly wanted for child support payments overdue. The post rambles on, accusing his new girlfriend (Who is really hot according to the sources) of being a heroin junkie and bad person.

Glen Smith has now started a new subreddit known as /r/crackedracks_lair where he malds and states that he basically hopes CrackedRack and his family dies. This subreddit is even weirder than the last one as it now claims CrackedRack is a "want to be" school shooter. Which makes even less sense because that would mean CrackedRack isn't a school shooter. He has also started a new subreddit aimed at what is alleged to be CrackedRack's father. The Subreddit's main focus seems to be Glen raging over CrackedRack's music and making unfounded claims of viewbotting as well as other absurd things. Any time a downvote is given to one of their posts they can be seen frantically upvoting it themselves with alt accounts to keep it just above 0 likes.

Valerie Smith is seen firedancing on Facebook and talking about depression and teeth problems keeping her skinny. She has seen a boost in viewage more then likely due to her infamy from her latest actions.

Valerie Smith has deleted fucking everything in regards to her business after not only this article went up but after multiple people reviewed her business negatively for spouting bullshit about how much she hates jews on facebook under her real name, which is totally not something a lunatic would do.

GANGSTALKING

The meth viking's are still at it. In this case they are now so mentally deluded they are claiming gangstalking against CrackedRack. Claiming that he is not only a viscous known pedophile with literally zero evidence but also claiming that he is gang-stalking them. Not just this but he is claiming as well that he is being paid by CrackedRack's brother 3000 dollars a month to gangstalk him. If these allegations are true, what a fucking retard for publicly admitting it. Worst gangstalker ever.

Reddit user plasticbackgrounds is Glen Smith of Oak and Cauldron fame.

CrackedRack did make a video on it but I'm not going to link it because who fucking cares.

Email address: [email protected]

last place attended: Portland Community College.

Criminal record for Valerie Lisette Holman/Smith

10/27/07 - Offense unknown but apparently misdeamanor 11/07/07 - Felony reckless driving 11/07/07 - Felony property damage 11/07/07 - Criminal mischief in the second degree Felony 11/07/07 - No safety belts misdemanor 09/04/08 - DUI felony committed to mental institution

Glen Smith -

Unknown date 2003 - Misdeamanor marijuana charge

Unkonwn date - Misdemeanor marijuana charge